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Momma Kiss: July 2008

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Gotham awaits...

In celebration of my visit to The Big City this weekend – I shall confess my absolute love for Broadway Musicals.

I’m a tool.

I’ve never been into theater (from the participant point of view) and can’t sing to save my life, but for some reason – musicals just make me happy.

I’m pretty sure it started with my niece, she’s been involved in theater her whole life and she sent me the Wicked Soundtrack and I fell in love with it without ever seeing the show. We also have this local radio station that plays Show Tunes every Saturday and Sunday that feeds my fix.

I’ve seen theatrical productions (big words, Momma, careful!) locally and such, but there’s NOTHING like seeing a musical in New York City. Nothing at all. The actors work so hard, for 8 shows a week. I have the utmost respect for them.

To share one experience, I was scheduled for some continuing ed training in NY, traveling w/ 2 other co-workers. I was newly pregnant and didn’t want to tell them yet, so the easiest way to bag on a big night of boozing was to plan my own party – I got a solo ticket to Wicked, The Musical. I paid double, and during the show realized I would have paid even 2x more! I called the Mr. during the break and told him what a dork I was: singing along and acting like a 5 year old. I was so giddy.

Other faves: Rent, Phantom, Chicago. On the hit list – Lion King!

Anyway – this weekend we’re headed to Gotham and I really wish we had time to see a show, but it’s not in the schedule. So I’m re-living my first Wicked experience today w/ some tunes. Enjoy!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Baby Steps

Mr. Kiss is in his home town for the funeral of a friend.

I took the boyz to this farmland / waterspouts today - met a few other couples w/ their kids. Big Kiss had the worlds best time. Fed the goats, rode the pony, got pecked by a chicken. And Little Kiss is the most calm, patient, laid back kid - chilled in the stroller while we chased around all over God's Creation.

We had some lunch and then went to the water part.

A-MAzing place for kids of all ages.

Big Kiss ran amuk and Lil Kiss just enjoyed sitting and splashing. All of a sudden he's crying and I see this little girl, maybe 4 years old? Stepping on his leg. Hard. I look over and she does it again, looking right at me. I said, very loudly and sternly, "stop stepping on him!" (looking for the heathen's parent as SHE DOES IT AGAIN!)"We don't step on other children!" No parent in sight. So I put my hand on her chest and slowly pushed her away.

Mo Fo undisciplined children.

So we moved to another area and all of a sudden Lil Kiss stands up. Just stands up on his own - his new trick.

Then he does it.

He took a step.

And another.

I yelled "what are you doing? WHAT are you doing?!"

Four steps. My baby, who's almost 11 months old is slowly becoming a non-infant, right before my eyes. I'm glad I saw his first steps - that they didn't happen in daycare - and our friends saw it and even strangers. They all clapped, which made him promptly plop on his ass, and said "we're witnessing history in this Momma's life."

Yes, they certainly were.

In other news, whoever said the Two's are Terrible apparently did not have a Three Year Old.

It is so incredibly difficult and frustrating to witness such a joyous, well behaved child - enjoying his first pony ride and yelling from across the yard "I'd like to go pee!" as we race to the restroom - go from nice to nasty in milliseconds.

And of course it's ALWAYS at home.

I've been told over and over that children who throw tantrums at home - whilst behaving like absolute angels everywhere else - do so because they know they are loved unconditionally and are comfortable enough to lose control. It's a sign that they feel your love. That they must need the release and know it'll be OK.

Well Fuck That.

I fucking sucks to end a day with a scream fest, off to bed with no books, stop messing around, I LOVE YOU frustration.

Friday, July 25, 2008

End of another work week...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Filth on t.v.

And I continue to watch. Train Wrecks.

Tori & Dean: Home sweet hollywood

Tori (who is pregnant): The other night, I was sitting on the toilet and I was pushing, because I had a hard poop.

Doc: Yes.

Tori: I was like ughhrrthhhhh (grunt) trying to take a poo

Dean: I heard it in the other room

Tori: you did not babe!

Doc: nodding

Tori: I finally got the poo out

Doc: Mmm Hmm

Liam: gurgle yay gurgle

Doc: I know?!

Tori: but, I was pushing so hard, so if I was doing that to get a hard poo out, could I start the baby thinking it’s time to come out and push her down (big hand gestures) and coming out?

Doc: NO you can’t do that.

Tori: never?

Doc: never

Dean: sometimes a hard poo is just a hard poo

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lesson learned!

Remember just one week ago today? I went to the beach and sunburned (or sunburnt?) my back?

Well that very same back currently looks like a snake shedding it's skin.

EW. Ew to the Nth degree.

And I it's so damn itchy and I can't even get at it myself :( I've been scratching it w/ a ruler (which I will toss at the end of the day, uff curse).

Lesson learned, that's fo sho.

In other news, called Gramma Kiss and Big Kiss wouldn't even talk to me. He was too busy "being" the plumber at the 'rents house.

Putting a pen behind his ear, "writing" invoices, hiking up his shorts. Little monster.

I'm excited to see him tomorrow!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Who left me in charge w/out a chaperone?

I was bored out of my skull today. Seriously.

But I’m happy now! *big ol happy face*

The Mr. Man is working late, he’s been wicked busy. And he seems to be feeling OK – just super sore. I need to take a picture of his under-bicep bruise, it’s that amazing (and totally blog worthy).

So my evening went as follows.

Picked up the Lil Kisser at school, he cried all the way home. Do they not feed the kid? They do – I know it, but he’s having a growth spurt or something, I swear to God. Got home – gave the kid a bottle and then he helped me with some laundry. Or so I thought. Literally I turned around and he wasn’t there. I heard his lil voice, ran all around looking for him – and where is he?! On the stairs of doom! Yes – the same stairs Mr. Kiss f ell down last night!

See exhibit:

Lil Kiss was sitting – properly – on the first step you see. From the Top. Cheesenrice. See the bottom left corner? That’s where the Mr. was laying in a heap last night. See how the whole front is open, and there’s that toy bin underneath? And the farking ‘horseheadcoatrack?’ Both incidents could have caused major damage.

So I pick up the little monster and tell him how scary that was and that he is not to climb the stairs again. Because a 10 month old can understand that. Anyway – he better listen, his lil life flashed before my eyes!

Get him to bed and it’s trash time. I’m a good lil wife and put the trash & recycling out for the Mr. b/c he’s all sore & stuff. I’m taking up one of the bins and my dog’s running around w/ me – all of a sudden a rabbit runs out (brave little fucker) and there goes the dog – like a speeding bullet! ACROSS THE G.DAMN STREET! I’m yelling after him, and then I see a car coming. Cripes. He runs back to me, like thisclose in front of the car and is fine, but shit, I saw HIS life flash before my eyes.

Is it the Kiss Mission to give Momma a heart attack at every turn this week?!

I finish the gar-geb and was sweating bullets so I decided it to jump in the pool – half nekked. Just a top – why mess up a whole suit, really. I did have a towel around me before getting in and wouldn’t you know it, Nosy Nancy Neighbor was peeking over the fence (no joke) to shoot the shit. Loverly. Had to wait for her to go back home so I could finally cool myself off.

I’ll fully admit, I love having a pool. It’s a lot of work, I do NONE of it, and I absosmurfly love the convenience of swimming, cooling off, skinny dipping, vacationing right in my back yard. Bliss. Perfect end to a long boring and crazy day.

I’m currently having some Mommy Juice for dinner and watching DVR.

Talk about la-zy. Whatev.

I’m the Queen of Everything. Or the Princess of Quite a Lot. I can’t decide. I guess it just depends on the size of the tiara….

P or Q?

Hmmm, which category do I fit in?

Decisions decisions...

Blah Tuesday

So Little Kiss’ ears appear to be fine. I’m glad for that, really. But our pattern seems to be infection, 2 weeks later – clear, 2 more weeks – infection. I can’t get the ENT on my own, but if it happens again (my poor baby) I’m just demanding the ENT appointment.

He did wake at 4am, but was able to fall back to sleep on his own. And didn’t get up till 6.30a, that’s 12+ hours people – WHEW!

I got Big Kiss a new bed yesterday – twin size. He’s been falling out of his toddler bed which = him snuggling in w/ us. Maybe this will help keep him in his room? And will be a nice surprise when he gets home.

The Mr. Man fell down our stairs last night. He fell hard, like ass over teakettle (like that one, Baby Momma?) – and it skerd the shit out of me. I yelled his name and he’s all quiet like – “I’m OK – but will you please come here”. And I go to see he’s in a heap at the bottom of the steps. Now this dude is 6’4, 220lbs – to see him all down in a pile like that was scary. We realized nothing was broken, but he’s going to be a sore mutha for a long time. Huge angry bruise under his bicep (that must have caught the railing on the way down). Just scary stuff. I almost cried. But then had to stifle a giggle (once I knew he was OK) b/c his hat was all crooked and he looked funny.

Anyhoodle, FYI:

Monday, July 21, 2008

Generations collide

So I do facebook sometimes. I really just created a profile to be amongst the cool people. And to try to stay on top of those social sites for the day that my kids are involved.

Well I did this search to try to locate people thru e-mail.

And found my niece.

Oh em GEE, I feel like I’m invading her privacy. She’s 19. She’s in college. She swears, talks about sex and drinking. She’s hot. Like Model hot. But I also know she’s also damn funny. And super smart. Lawd, she over 400 friends.

I read a few snippets on her “wall” and decided I don’t want to know NO MORE. I also don’t want her to feel like she should censor anything b/c I’m now “in the know.” Like let the kid be a kid, without worrying about what her Ole Lady Auntie will read.

Granted, if she saw this here blog, she’d prolly know I’m “cool like that” but I don’t need her knowing I swear like a trucker or have pool side sex w/ the Mr. once in a while, either.

What to do, what to do.

I may just e-mail her and tell her I’m going to remove the “facebook friend” thing - but bet your ass I’ll be lurking on her once in a while!

4 down to 3...

Well Big Kiss has been gone since Saturday. And it’s been sooooo quiet in our house. Oddly.

We started our Saturday with some outside play, Big Kiss getting a hair cut (no screaming – Score!), picking out a toy for being a good boy and a trip to the bagel store. G’ma and G’pa came over around noon and we swam and played outside all day long. It was like Africa Hot but the pool (and central air) kept us cool.

When the in-laws were about to leave, I took Big Kiss inside to talk a little bit, asked if he wanted to go to school next week and he said “no” and I said – “Good, because you don’t have to!” Big amazed eyes and open “O” mouth. We talked about him going to G’ma and G’pa’s house and all the fun things they’d do. He was pretty pumped. When it was time to go, he jumped into his carseat and was grinning from ear to ear. Then when he realized we weren’t coming with him, he started bawling. I hated him leaving like that. But I sorta knew it would happen this time. He’s been w/ them many many times, without us around, overnight, etc. - but I think it’s his age – he understands so much more.

To make it worse, the ‘rents don’t use their cell phones. Well, to clarify – they do use them, but they turn them on, make a call, and turn them off. So I couldn’t even call to check on him.

Our night was good, but both the Mr. and I were a little beside ourselves, like – it’s just a 10 month old and us – this is weird. Lil Kiss was in bed by 6.15, we had a nice dinner, watched a movie (I didn’t even fall asleep). Went for a swim. Had a drink in the Adirondack chairs outside. The whole time we were waiting to hear that they made it home – and of course they did, and all was well. Whew – made my heart happy and I didn’t feel so guilty enjoying Lil Kiss to myself :)

Yesterday we ran lots of errands, Lil Kiss napped while we relaxed by the pool. We grilled out and enjoyed a nice meal. Oh, and I kicked Mr. Kiss' ass in Uno. Best of 7. Serenity, I tell you.

We did call to check in and the monster didn’t even want to talk to us. I’m glad he’s having fun and making memories with his grandparents.

And I miss the little fart.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Best

I'm a snarky bitch.

And THIS is right up my alley.

Check it out: The Best Parent Ever dot com


Friday, July 18, 2008

man puffs.

Ladies and Gents We have a shower!!!!

It is sparkly and clean and not 1971 mustard yellow.


Still no flooring in the bathroom but this morning's shower at home was heavenly.

Thing is I left my deoderant in my "shower at work" bag so I had to use the Mr.s speed stick.

Now every time I raise & lower my arms I smell a little man puff. Its kinda nice. A lil reminder of the Man (love his 'clean' smell. Like when he's not wearing cologne).

Hmmmm. Maybe he'll get a lil attention tonight. All due to a little man puff....

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Rednecks unite. Wait, that's RedBACKS...

Ahhhhh, we went to the beach yesterday. The Mr. suggested a day off - just us, and I was stoopidly excited!

Dropped the kids at school, ran a few errands and then hit the road! It's about an hour away - but totally worth it. I was such a good lil doobie and used my sunscreen - except for the middle of my back (thank GOD no "finger" tan lines - you know, wher it looks like you reached w/ your hand w/ the sunscreen?) AND one half of the back of one leg. Lemme tell you - they HURT - and I've been slathering after sun lotion on as much as I can.

The above pic is of my Red Back - and no, that's not my bra strap - it's the fancy tag on my shirt :p

So we were all settled in to our spot by 10.30. At 10.31 we realized that it was Green Head season. Do you know what Green Heads are? I'll tell you - they're biting flies, and there were 10239874987987343 of them! We swatted and swatted and were looking around at others like "why are they NOT bothered by these flying fuckers?"

Then my eye spotted it, someone spraying something that was not sunscreen. I marched right over to ask what it was - "Avon Skin So Soft! They sell it at the consession stand. " I didn't care if it cost 20 bucks, I was not letting our beach day be ruined by these bastard flies. Turns out it was only 7.50, not shabby.

And smells lovely. And we can use it all summer for the boyz, it's not all chemically.

Once the lil biting monsters were not an issue, the rest of the day was supercalifragistically fantastic. I swam in the ocean (BIG for me, I'm a Great Lakes - i.e. fresh water kinda gal). And I read a lot. And Mr. Kiss and I talked a lot. Thank you God for a beautiful day.

We had to leave around 3 to get the boyzz and then we all swam at home for a bit, even Lil Kiss - it was so hot yesterday, the pool was up to like 82, sans heater!

In other news, I got home to this e-mail from Gramma Kiss:

Subject: Big Kiss' social calendar.

Text: We were wondering if Big Kiss would be able to come home with us on Saturday and stay until next Thursday. Is his calendar clear?

Talk it over and let us know if you think he would be OK leaving with us.

Mom (Mr. Kiss' mom).

I couldn't reply fast enough - "yes, Yes and YES - his calendar is free and he's all yours!"

They just got back from a 2 week trip to Alaska - part on land tourism, part cruise. So they've missed my little men and are coming to visit on Saturday. AND they're taking one of them back with them for a WEEK!? Has she been reading my blog? (for the record, I doubt it). But this is a prayer answered. I will miss that dude. A lot - but this is just what the Doc ordered to relieve some of our stress. We'll still have Lil Kiss, but - hell - he's the easy one.

Thank you GRAMMA KISS!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


(tried to post this am, but blogger took a shit).
I've been up since 4.

That's 4am.
Lil Kiss was up hacking (can't wait till this kid is healthy) and that woke up Big Kiss, so I moved him to my bed and I decided to just stay up and get some shit done.
Laundry. At 4.30 am.
Can you sense my happiness?
Ah well, I'll be on the beach in a few hours so I can nap there :)

Aussie aussie aussie, Oy Oy OY!

For my friend from Oz...WTH is going on down under?! (sharing a forward)

Pet camel kills Australian woman

Camels were brought to Australia in the 1840s for transportationA woman in Australia has been killed by her pet camel after the animal may have tried to have sex with her.

The woman was found dead at the family's sheep and cattle ranch near the town of Mitchell in Queensland.

The woman had been given the camel as a 60th birthday present earlier this year because of her love of exotic pets.

The camel was just 10 months old but already weighed 152kg (336lbs) and had come close to suffocating the family's pet goat on a number of occasions.

On Saturday, the woman apparently became the object of the male camel's desire.

It knocked her to the ground, lay on top of her and displayed what the police delicately described as possible mating behaviour.

"I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," the Associated Press news agency quoted Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory as saying.
Young camels are not normally aggressive but can become more threatening if treated and raised as pets.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Holy Fuckerelli


We're in the middle of our bathroom reno and all week I've been 'shopping' for the sink's base cabinet, a linen closet, shower heads, faucets, lights. Who knew it'd be so, uh, decisive? We had decided on a sink cab, but couldn't find a linen cab to match.

So I found 2 that do match - but the sink cab doesn't have drawers, just 2 big doors. I'm talking over w/ the Mr. and he's like "Well can't you just go to, like, The Container Store and get something to hold crap under there?"

Holy Fuckerelli - this place is my 2nd fave mecca, after Target. And he just blessed a shopping trip there. I can not WAIT to start that phase of the renovation!

A lil P.S.

I got this in e-mail, thought I'd share.

"Hey, my name is Liliana i girl. I search friend my email !! !!Write to me and I shall send a photo:)"

So. Maybeperchance I should click the link?


Where does this shit come from?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Mondays rock.


I had a really great weekend. Thank God.

I had a good talk w/ the Mr. on Friday. A big part of all of our stress is that we have Zero help. His 'rents are 2+ hours away, my entire family lives all across the country. We're "on" 100% of the time and have to mega plan to get some time away, you know? Not even big stuff, just like go to the grocery store or have a free afternoon. So it was really nice, and we're on a good level. I also admitted that I want to talk to someone. Not "mawwaige therapy" but for me. I'm a control freak. And constantly am working on not being so controlling. But I think I need some outside help in that and other things.

So we had a good night and then I left early on Saturday to visit my friend A. She's my old roomie and has this amazing condo on the beach - needed help painting a room. I LOVE to paint, she hates it. She lured me there w/ the promise of a night out after. Hello?! I'm in! Between coats, we sat on the beach. Ahhh. And I only called to check on the kids once.

She got tickets for the Sox thru a college alumni thing - and asked me to be her date. I had to clarify, am I like your wife? Or just a friend? In case someone asked, you know? :p Oh, I should also state that she's beautiful inside and out and I have no idea why she's still single. She's amazing. And hysterical! Anyway - showering at her house was like an absolute spa treatment. 1 - because I hadn't had a good shower in a week. 2 - because I just love using other peoples beauty products. You know? doesn't matter if it's sauve or whatever, it's different and fun.
And I wore her shoes. Super cute.
I found out much too late that they were Super uncomfortable - even tho she warned me. I dealt. All in the name of beauty.

This is the Cask n Flagon - across the street from the ball park and the scene of my first "date" w/ the Mr. Sigh. Memories.

This was the view from our seats. Mr. Kiss texted me to say he saw Dick Vitale and Kevin Costner in the stands. I said - can you see us in Guam?

Needless to say, we didn't last long in those seats. Mo Fo hot and how you gonna meet a guy sitting in one spot?! (altho that's how I met the Mr.- I ever share that? We met in the bleachers at Fenway Park. He was sitting behind me. Again, Sigh. )
So we went to this bar behind the stands and the breeze was fantastic. There was a group of girls having a Bachette party - how fun?! But they were, lemme say, a little bit on the rough side. Yet they had a few admirerers (sp?) and we soon found out why. One member of the party was tall, thin & purty. A said, "Well there's the answer, Sparkly Spice just showed up." I tried and tried to get their picture, but couldn't be conspicious enough.
This guy was taking their picture (they asked him) and we decided that he should meet A. We called him Gilly. So we tried and tried to move closer, etc. but no luck.
Long story short (really?) A was asked if she's a lesbian (she's not) and we were hit on by guys we didn't want to be hit on by. These dudes begged to find out where we were going, and A says "The Eastern Standard" (bar close by). And she's giving them directions, etc. and then we go to the bathroom and I'm like - seriously? you want to pursue that? A: "We're NOT going to the Eastern Standard!"
Duh. Yes, folks, I'm blonde.
We did go to the Baseball Tavern - highly rec for any locals. Walk in and realize I'm old. Not cougar old - but old. We had the most fun, tho. And guess who was there?! Gilly! Yep - he and 3 buds. We talked to them and all nite - and only bought one beer ourselves, bonus. I laughed more than I remember laughing in a really long time. A lot. My belly still hurts.
And apparently I'm a good wing-man because we chat, etc. and then they find out I'm married - their married bud and I chat it up and whala- conversation available for everyone. I even danced once, with Gilly - and was called a Yummy Mummy. Hmmm. That good or bad? I'm still wondering.
I was also hit on by a super drunk 25 yr old. He asked my name, I told him and he said his - and I said, Oh, that's my Husband's name! Blank stare. And then I just went on w/ my convo w/ A and all of a sudden this dude pinched my upper arm. Twice. I said - "He just fat calipured me." And for the rest of the night we called him Steak Juice because he was staring at us like a piece of meat. I became Filet Mignon (spoken like that Fil-Ett Migg-Non).
Oh Lord - laughs all damn night, and unlike last weekend, I remember EVERYTHING and wasn't even that drunk. BUT, tired ain't the half of it. I was out till the bar closed. It's been years since I've done that.
Yesterday I got home around 8 and got the low down on the Boyzz day and night. The Mr. survived ;) We were outside all but like 1 hour yesterday - love those days. Had friend over to swim and Big Kiss was swimming like a fish again. Kids were in bed early and Momma was not far behind.
I love weekends like that. Mr. time, girlfriend time and family time. Nothing better.
Oh - and my brother K called, he had just spoken to Z (who's been in basic training for a week now). Their conversation went as such:
Z: Hi Dad, I only have 3 minutes! I made it. Here's my address.
K: Is it harder than you expected?
Z: Way harder!
(in background: "1 minute left!")
K: OK - I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm praying for you.
GAH - I'm sure he's fine, but can you imagine you haven't spoken to your dad in a week and then you get a phone call and you're all under pressure, etc.?
Ok, talk much? Got to bolt.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Pity Party of One, your table is ready

I’m having a shittastic day. Really it began yesterday.

Lil Kiss is still sick – waking up at night w/ gagging coughs, puking, snorky. Finally took him in yesterday afternoon. Ear infection. And Thrush – that’s a yeast infection in his mouth. Fantastic. So he’s on meds AGAIN for the ear infection and the thrush. The reason he’s got the thrush is from all the antibiotics for his fucking ears. My doc is on vacation, but as soon as he’s back, we’re going in and telling him we want tubes for Lil Kiss. That means surgery and that breaks my heart to pieces, but it’ll only mean a better life for Lil Kiss.

So I’m done at the doc and go to get Big Kiss. Did I mention the Mr. had a work even last night? Timing – perfect. So I get Big Kiss a happy meal – loves his chicken nuggets, apples & milk. But it didn’t make him happy at all. He was fresh with me all night. And when he’s like that, he swats, kicks, talks nasty. I counted to 10 more than I can remember last night. I let him watch a cartoon while I gave Lil K his meds and put him to bed. Come back down to whining, told him to stop and turned of his cartoon. He kicked me. I spanked him.

And promptly felt like absolute dog shit. Doesn’t matter that he kicked me and was 100% misbehaving. He’s 3. And I am the adult. I’m not against spanking. But I still felt like ass. And then, continued to use it as a threat the rest of the night. What kind of mother am I?

I’m in bed around 10 – not sure when the Mr. came home but next thing I know it’s 6am and Big Kiss is whining next to me.

Here’s the thing. He comes to our bed during the night if Lil K wakes up or in the morning or whenever. And he whines. Cries and whines. Every single morning. Wants his drink. Wants to eat breakfast. Wants no covers. Every single morning. Well, we deal. We ask him to use his words, stop crying, we can’t understand, but deal. Even last week after the drunk fest, I was up w/ them in the morning b/c that’s what the parent does. Well as soon as Big Kiss started in, Lil K was up, too and needed his bottle. I needed the Mr. to get up and help. He just laid there. I knew he was awake, but I said “it’s our choice to stay up late – I need your help.”

And he starts flying off the handle. “God forbid I go out and have a good time once in a while, you can’t even let me enjoy it for 5 seconds.”

You see, he expects me to make a comment. I could have said “Hey, I need some help b/c both kids are crying.” and he’d have STILL taken it the wrong way. He assumes I’m digging at him for being out so he expects me to nag.

Our relationship has been tough in the communication department lately. We get thru the day. Stuff for the kids, business w/ the bathroom, car needs gas. It’s been a long time since we’ve laughed together. Or just had a real conversation. Or even been friendly to each other. And it’s tiring.
Needless to say, we fough in front of the kids. Big Kiss totally gets it and that makes me feel shittier. But I told him I did not make the comment to be a nag or a bitch, I just needed help. I hate that he assumes the worst. I hate that Big Kiss was watching like at a tennis match w/ our words being thrown back and forth. I hate that I can’t make everyone happy. I can’t change my husband. I can’t be everything to everyone all the time. I hate that he’s not my best friend. I hate that I can’t fix things when I feel like I’m the one everyone comes to for fixing.

So maybe he’s right. Maybe I need to look in the mirror and figure out how to change my outlook. I thought writing would be the best therapy for me, I’ve been doing it for a long time. But I think I need more. I need to work on me – a LOT. Never been to a shrink, but I’m looking into it today.

So the shittastic day continues. Off to a meeting where someone else will add to my task list and all I can think about is the fact that I didn’t kiss my husband good bye this morning.

OK, just making a call for a referral for a therapist made my palms sweat and my voice quiver. But I think it's the best option right now.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Holy Effin S.

If there is a God in the Heaven above, strike me down or at least grant me some relief.

My mono y mono training session yesterday has proven near - fatal, I'm so GD sore, I can't even describe it.

Sitting down to pee? Aychiewawa!

Jumping out of bed at 3am b/c Big Kiss has to go potty? Nope, body did not agree with that!

WALKING? just kill me now!

This calls for another picture, too:

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Prezzies for me, pictures for you

My Dr. Pepper JB's arrived today! Scrumptious! AND - she threw in a bag of root beer flavored, too. Delish. Good thing I went to the gym today.

Anyway - she ALSO sent lil ol me a surprise gift that totally and completely made my day. So farking funny. It's this little "book" thingy, it's wire bound, and can sit on a desktop and you flip it - maybe like a calendar? but yeah, you can flip it so certain pictures show one at a time.

Here's a few of my faves :) (yes, i took pictures of them with my kodak piece of shit easy share).

Thanks Baby Mama!

And that is dying.

Something shared with me that I didn't want to lose:

I am standing upon the seashore.

A ship at my side spreads her white sails in the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch her until at length she is only a ribbon of white cloud just where the sea and the sky mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, 'There! She's gone!

'Gone from where? Gone from my sight - that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her, and just at the moment when someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!' there are other voices ready to take up the glad shout 'There! She comes!'

And that is dying.

- found on the body of Col. David Marcus, an American Solider

jello nots

I went to the gym today and did a Flex Class.

Flex is like cardio w/ small weights, squats, leg lifts, etc.

It was just the teacher and me - apparently all the other smart fun people were outside enjoying our hot & humid weather.

So when there's no back row to hide in - I had to do EVERYTHING and not quit on reps, etc.

My arms and legs are wobbling like jello.

But they hurt like I'm being stabbed a thousand times!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Recruit update...

Ok, I got this update on Z. Both of them crack my shit up....

"Yep. He's not even in Texas yet. He won't get in until sometime after dark.

I talked to him after lunch and he said he's bored stiff. Just trying to waste time with the other recruits. He's beginning to wonder how our military can be so strong with some of the winners he's meeting. He said he's ready to get yelled at just to get away from the mentally challenged.

I should hear from him once more before boot camp."

At least the kid is P.C. ;)


The Bachelorette is FUCKING Stupid!

I hate this GD show. I'm so done. DONE!

I give them 3months.

"Set a wedding date."


Monday, July 7, 2008

Reporting for duty and TV LOVE!


My baby nephew Z, who graduated high school in June (so not really a baby, right?) just left his home for his Air Force recruiter’s office. He’s shipping out to Basic Training today. My brother K has been Z’s full custodial single parent since he was 2. He just called me and was pretty emotional. I don’t blame him! Z was crying when they said good bye, not because he’s scared, but because he’s worried about his dad. Cripes.

Z’s such a great kid, very respectful of authority and has received a lot of good advice for his training. Like be the kid in the middle, don’t be an ass showing off at the front of the pack and don’t be a baby at the back of the pack. Just get thru it. It’ll be hell, but get thru it. I’m so damn skippy proud of him. And with the state of the country, I’m quite sure he’ll be in this “war” going on – but still, I’m proud of him.

He’s going to be fine. He won’t get hazed too bad. He won’t get flushed in the toilet. He won’t miss his dad too much He’ll be fine, right?

On a happier note, only 4 hours till the Bachelorette choses JASON! I know it, I know she's gonna pick him (and I'm sorta sad - because the show's track record sucks ass and I don't want him & his lil son getting hurt). I will be glued to my television tonight.

This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.

So America has turned 232 yrs old. If you needed an excuse to party, that’s a good one. And party I did.

Lemme back up a bit. Friday the 4th we went to a local parade and it was rainy and icky, but we still had fun. The first part of the parade was like 40 fire trucks, blaring horns and sirens. Big Kiss was staring in awe. He loves them. And he’d turn to me and do that wonderment whisper “I saw FIRETRUCKS!” Easy to please, that kid.

Mr. Kiss golfed while my kids Yep. It was glorious. And instead of finishing laundry or doing the dishes, I plopped on the couch and finally watched the Finale of Grey’s Anatomy. So good – I love that show. (ahem, "Finally Finale"? reads weird).

That night we grilled out w/ the neighbors, put the kids down and then we chilled around the firepit. And made s’mores! Yum!

On Saturday, one of my Momma friends in the hood had her annual July 4th party (on the 5th – but who’s counting). They do a great job of grilling, drinks, lots of stuff for the kids to do. Well, I brought wine and had lots of it. Apparently I was on a mission to d-rink and kept letting people know it. We let the kids play and eat then all walked back home. I got Lil Kiss in bed and Big Kiss & the Mr. were out swimming.

Wait, what?

Momma’s free?

Yep! Grabbed another bottle of wine & hoofed it back up the hill to the partay.

**Program note, I just popped out to get some coffee before the Caf closed and ran into a girl I hadn’t seen in a while (one of our auditors). She said she loved my hair and said I looked skinny. Yep, used that word – “skinny!” Woot! Even if it’s not true, I’m beaming and immediately held my head higher. Amazing what a compliment will do for the soul.

Back on track – I’ll just have to sum up and say I was One Hot Mess for the rest of Saturday.

I do know I was a big help to one of the husbands who asked the score of a baseball game – Cracky came in handy and I was able to produce an answer!

I also know I finished the 2nd bottle of wine and didn’t even share. (but shhhh, Mr. Kiss thinks I did share!)

I think they had fireworks, but it’s a lil blurry. And I was told I passed out on a lawn chair for about 20 minutes. Greaaaat.

I left w/out saying good bye (prolly for the best, I wasn’t making much sense) and stumbled my drunk ass home. I did one trunk text (Baby Mama, sorry bout that – I’m amazed you could read what I "wrote - it was like ancient symbols).

Next thing I know, it’s 2.30a.m. and Lil Kiss is crying out. I went in to plug him (pacifier) but it wasn’t working, so I said to the Mr. – you better help him, I’m not safe right now. Sad. And then went to sleep it off in the basement. I got up for the day at 6.30 – wondering where my things were. Alas – apparently I’m quite organized when drunk. I had set Cracky charging, laid my clothes next to the bed and even left my shoes by the door. Hm. Who knew.

I fully admitted to Mr. Kiss that I was indeed hanged over and was wasted the night before and that I’d need help on Sunday! Got thru the day, tho – w/out messing too much up.

I don’t even know where this “mission” came from, I mean, I was gulping wine. And all my friends were dying, b/c I’m usually the one in charge. I asked if I embarrassed myself – they assured me “No” but I’m guessing I may have and they’re keeping it to themselves hoping I provide entertainment again some day.

Yesterday ended up being pretty fun, we played outside almost all day long. Big Kiss is finally swimming w/out holding hands (using a life jacket) and we couldn’t get him out of the water. Makes me so proud when he learns something new, he just beams he’s so happy.

And we put them to bed early – like 5.45 for Lil and 6.30 for Big! Which meant Momma could crash by 9! WHEW!

Back to the grind today. Cest la vie. I have a date w/ the gym at lunch, my jiggly bits need to be punished on the treadmill.

OH – and our bathroom is being ripped apart RIGHT NOW! I’m taking lots of pictures of the reno – can’t wait to see it when I get home.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Holy S.

So I have a girly friend who lives near a jelly belly factory and she went on a tour yesterday and I was all wise-ass-y (when am I not?!) and was like "get me some, bitch!" root beer. And watermelon. And green apple. And cream soda. Oh, and root beer!

Well lookey here? These bad boys are comin in the mail as I type!

She knows me well, v. well indeed!

Thanks Hon - and shhhhh, don't tell the Mr. or Big Kiss - I ain't sharing!

Lucky Mr.

Mr. Kiss is currently in the dog house (looooong story - I may get to it) but I've been wanting to buy this for him and it's limited quantity so I just got it today.

He's lucky I married him for better or worse, b/c today is Worse, yet I still find room in my heart to share the love. Good lil wifey, no?

In case you care, it's 2 MLB balls, one commerative for the 2008 All Star Game (in Yankee Stadium this year) and dirt from Yankee Stadium as well - they're building a new one.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Crackalackin style.

Have I mentioned that I decorated Cracky?
I have some 'skins' that the Mr. absosmurfly HATES.

Therefore, I love them even more.

Here's 2 of them:

What? I couldn't hear you...

I’m tired. And quite possibly deaf. But it was worth it.

I went to see Pearl Jam last night! WHEEEE! Their last date on the summer tour – it was incredible.

I won seats thru work, and lemme tell you this, the VIP tickets (yes, they were named VIP tickets) rocked. We got super up close parking (and preferential treatment when leaving afterwards!), use of the courtyard (with a huge bar and clean bathrooms) and supah up close seats. Right in the middle. Center stage. Prolly 100 feet back? I’m terrible at judging distance, but I could see Eddie pretty well. And we had waitress service.

It was the best concert experience I’ve ever had.

Now it’s back to reality – getting thru my day on 4 hours of sleep…no rest for Mommas. Ever.

Mr. Vedder:

The person in white / pink was, oh, over 40?! And rockin out like it was her j.o.b. And the one w/ the shirt pulled up? I swear it was Miranda from SATC [not really - but close]
(right in front of us - lovely)...

PS - I think I know now what party goers at a Snoop Dog concert feel like.

There was so much dope being smoked around me! Like more pot than NancyBotwin was pushing thru Majestic! And I'm a non-smoker, non druggie kinda gal - alkie hol is my only vice and I'm nuts enough on that! We even witnessed a transaction like 2 rows up. Yeah - some dude came from a few rows back - climbed all the seats (even OVER our VIP box - how dare he?) and just whipped out some cash and scored a blunt. Weed, man - it's the wacky tabackie!