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Momma Kiss: August 2010

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Move Along...

Nothing to see here folks, just move along.

Keep moving, I see you trying to figure out where the hell I've been.

I know, I know - you miss me BUT - I'm not really here.

I'm testing something.

(Now go!)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Friday F You 8-27

Friday Flip Off, Yo!

Know what I wanna flip off today?

The entire fucking month of August.

I've been busy BEYOND belief at work.

I haven't really had a full night's sleep since before vacation. In July.

My husband's company is sold to the fucking French and he'll be out of work soon.

My husband broke his heel while playing Stay Home Daddy for a day, therefore canceling the following plans: Water park with the boy; Patriot's football game; Saratoga race track; golf tournament; reunion type bbq with friends; and another Patriot's football game.

Not to mention I'm now the lawn mower, the trash taker-outer, the kid bather, the pool vacuumer, the dog shit picker uper AND I'm still the momma.

So yah, the month of August, 2010 - Fuck Off.

p.s. - I may or may not have been out for a few raspberry coconut margaritas this evening. i'll never tell.


KludgyMom is too busy to lift her middle finger this week, but she's linking others for us.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

In a week, or two...

Random to the MAX.

Next week, I'll be meeting my kid's kindy teacher.

In 2 weeks, I'll be dropping off my kid at his very first day of kindergarten. Life in the public school system. Homework. Friends. Enemies. New surroundings. New schedules.

This Momma was NEVER prepared to even have children and now? I am facing the life of a working mom w/ a kid in public school and a kid in daycare.

I don't think they make enough pharmaceutical assistance to aid me in my time of need...

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

P.I.N.T. words of wisdom...

stick 'em up with Supah!

And don't you want ME to be the new host of PINT??? It's my life long DREAM!!! PINT is for sale!


Thursday, August 19, 2010

The MommaKiss MeMe

I swear to GAH, this whole 'no access to blog' at work is just the biggest downer ever.


I'm making up my own MeMe. Because, you know, it's all stuff I wanna know about
others. So I'll go first.

1. coffee or soda in the morning?
COFFEE. Preferably of the snickerdoodle variety, if not, butter toffee or caramel flavor. But no sugar. Ew.

2. ymail or gmail?
gmail for all things blog and shopping, but if you're in w/ the cool kids, you get the yahoo addy. I'm selective.

3. honesty or little white lies?
Come on now, you know I tell it like it is.

4. toilet paper roll over the top or from the bottom?
100% over the top. Any other way is just impossible.

5. wine or beer?
um, both! DUH!

6. sex...front? Back? Top? Bottom?
Yes. HA! Top and never ever up the poop chute. That is EXIT ONLY. I have those exact
words tattooed on my lower back. my own tramp stamp if you will.

7. related: rock the pizza slice bush or brazillian?
hairless here. Just like KimKard.

8. cowboys or clowns?
cowboys. in assless chaps. clowns are fucking assholes.

9. talk on the phone or text?
i HATE talking on the phone. especially to babblers. main exception is my momma.

10. forgive and forget? or forgive, but hold a grudge?
this is a hard one. i have a hard time forgiving in the first place, so if i allow myself the
forgiveness, i typically forget.

Wasn't that SUPER FUN? Wanna play along? Feel free!

Could give a shit? Don't care!


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Seriously (p.i.n.t.)

stick 'em up w/ supahmommy


Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday F The Eff Off 8-13

My oh my, that do you ever post...that was a 'straight from the gut' post, huh? Just typing as I listened to my boys trying to get themselves to bed that night. I decided to write instead of go up and rip the shit out of them.

Anyway - makes ya think, doesn't it? Thanks a mill' for chiming in with your comments.

Except moooooog. He's an asshole.

Moving on, this week, I only have one Eff You to hand out - here goes...

I could go into lots of fun details on this, but in summary, my husband is losing his job.
The company he works for is based in London and they were acquired by a company based in France. They have no need for the US office anymore and so, he'll be out of work. Could be a couple of months, could be a few more, the end is near.

Luckily - and I say this with much gratitude, I have a job. He works with many who aren't in the same situation. Thing is? That pressure to be the sole income earner? Not a fan. Grateful. But not a a fan.

So this week? I am yelling a big fat Fuck The French!

p.s. it's fucking Friday the 13th. Fucking Figures.

p.p.s. if i get this right? it'll show the rest of the friday flippers at kludgymom. Feels good, eh?

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Do you ever...

Do you ever wonder...if you just walked away, into the unknown, how long until you're missed?

Would they even miss you?

The smile that used to be ever present and radiant?

The eyes that used to twinkle with laughs?

The head that tilts to listen?

Do you ever wonder if they would miss the smell of your coffee?

The cinnamony sugary french toast?

The grilled cheese fingers?

The memorized number to the asian fusian place?

Do you ever wonder if friends would notice the drop in texts?

The lack of phone calls?

The birthday cards not arriving?

Do you ever wonder if they would miss the soul and essence of your person, or just the acts that the person performs?

The grocery shopping?

The daycare arrangements?

The making of doctor's appointments?

The folding of laundry?

The packing of lunches?

The 2am comforting?

Do you ever wonder, if you did walk away into the unknown, would you miss it?

The bickering and whining and fighting?

The eyes that see through you?

The feelings of everyone else coming first?

Do you ever wonder?

Do you?

bossy mcbosserson shell's gonna link me for her pour your heart out. thanks love!!


Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Moment.

My children are going to murder each other.

I'm about to give one of them help.

KIDDING. Come on, I actually do love my kids.

But today, the two of them were on my LAST nerve and we needed to get the hell out of dodge. I packed a little lunch in my [fab] purse slash shoulder bag and we walked to the park. They were still picking on each other on the way, but once we got there and they had some food and a change of scenery, life was pretty much kosher.

So they're running around and going up the slide and down the mesh ladder and I seriously had a moment. Watching them when they aren't sure I'm watching. Being there when they sneak a peek at me to make sure I saw them almost crack their head open. Catching them stick up for each other when the bigger kids are trying to goad them into being brats.

Those are my kids. I made those humans. And I did a kick ass job, by the way. They're caring, beautiful little creatures. Inside and out. I'm thankful that they tell me they love me best and will take care of me when I'm drooling and in diapers, just like I did for them.

Payback, kids. Payback.


Saturday, August 7, 2010

What IS THIS thing??

Can you hear that fucking thing?

I don't know if it's a bird or a grasshopper on steroids or what the hell, but it's SOFUCKING LOUD.

Problem is, the bitch only comes out at night, when I can't see shit, even with a flashlight (I've tried).

So I can't even use The Google to try to figure it out.

I mean, how do you google "what kind of animal makes a sound like screetch screetch blarghing screetch."

Why do I want to find out what it is?

So I can find out how to kill the motherfucker.

I was stalked today. What a lovely surprise. I've always wanted a stalker. That GiGi is a trick, I tell ya. A sneaky stealthy ninja TRICK!


Thursday, August 5, 2010


You like random, right? Some random MommaKiss'isms and Happenin's:

Approximately 24 hours after my return from vacation, with some close family, some other family drama started. It's been ongoing since. Stemming from a person whom I am full-blooded-related to and it just baffles me. You don't even wanna know the things I want to say and for ME not to say them? MommaKiss who will say anything? It's bad and she's bad. Like twatwaffle cuntbag delusional diseased psychotic bad. Oops, I said something.

My lil one had a reaction on one of our 4 flights. It was lil scary but not to the 'epi-pen' level, benedryl is all it took. But peanut allergies suck ass.

I've slept an average of 4 hours a night since being home. Maybe 3. Or 3.5? Christ, exhaustion will eff up your math.

It's AMAZING [say it like "The Bachelor Amazing"] when you realize what your body can accomplish on little sleep. For a few days. Then, it just gets goofy.

My husband and I had a MotherFucker of a fight on our last night of vacation. He was drunk, I was sober [shut up, it happens]. He's realized what a assknot he was and has been kissing up AND has been wicked helpful in this "We're a team, and your 'family member' sucks" situation.

We're watching that series Boston Med. It is one of the best shows I have ever seen. I'm a lil biased because both of my babies were delivered at Brigham. I had a miscarriage at the Brigham ER. A very close friend was treated at Mass General. It's a remarkable show.
Guess what? That show is on RIGHT NOW and my "returned-to-assknot" husband isn't home and I have to wait for him to watch. Jerk.

Had enough yet? I'm not sure I'm done. And here I thought I had nothing to say.

Let's see. The rodeo in Helena Montana is so good, and actually comical, which I don't think it's supposed to be. But we laughed and laughed. Coulda been the $2 bud lites. Whatever.

I played trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings with my husband, brother and sister-in-law. We won 4 rounds in a row and ended up with a score that was 8th in the nation. I've since made t-shirts to commemorate the occasion.

In 1 month and 2 days, my Big Kiss will go to Kindergarten. His teacher is Mrs. Moore and I pray to God he doesn't call her Miss MoFo.

In 1 month and 1 day, I expect to be catatonic with sadness over this kindergarten situation.

I've been finding some really great blogs lately and click follow and then feel sad when I can't get around to read them. Asshole Funny/Witty/Smart Bloggers!!

Don't feel bad, my oldie but goodie funny/witty/smart bloggers. I haven't been around to you, either. I don't discriminate.

I think that's enough MommaKiss for a while. Let me know if I'm missing something, will ya?

No really, please do. It'll give me something to write about other than family stress and asspissing.

Wait, what?

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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wordless Wednesday 8-4

i wanna go back.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Tap Tap Tap

Is this thing on?

Didja miss me?

Vacation is over. I am a complete puddle of gooey tired mush. "Family vacation" is such an oxymoron. Mom is always "ON" - am I right? My children had an incredible time and I'd do it all again, twice, for them.

I have stories and memories and pictures, but for once, I'll keep them in my head and heart and simply share that my Momma lives entirely too far from me and my Brother is a hero among simple men.

My google reader was cleared [without reading, sorry] and time zones are assholes...hope I can come up with something interesting to say in the near future.

**FYI - I took that rainbow picture, and no, I did not jizz myself like that freak on youtube who saw the double rainbow, but was pretty close. Montana is some good shit.

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