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Momma Kiss: June 2011

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

A Juicy Reminder - Coming to Boston!

Remember that post I wrote letting you all know that Juice in the City is coming to Boston? NO?? Do you NOT commit to memory every. single. word. I type? Fine. Well, it’s here, if you’d like a refresher (you know you do – and – Ahem – one of the JITC founders commented on that one. Uh huh.)

My thoughts in that post still ring true, even as my Momma still struggles with expenses. And Mr. Kiss still hasn’t found a job (up to appx 130 rejections now). We had to install a new furnace. The ‘old’ car didn’t pass inspection, so more money had to be spent just to drive it away. Expenses. Money issues. Sigh.

Anyjuice, a reminder to any Boston Moms who would be interested in becoming a Local Business Consultant for Juice in the City – check them out. Especially if you’re in the Brookline/Newton/North End areas. If you’re familiar with your community, know of some great local hot spots and places to go – give this a shot. The info is here – and yes, like I said before, it says MAKE MONEY!

Moms helping moms. Nothing better.

You can follow Juice in the City on twitter @jitcboston and their facebook page. When Boston's deals are up and running, please subscribe!

sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

also - comments may or may not be working. blogger is being a total assclown.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

WW 6.29


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

WTF Wordless Wedensday 6-22

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Remember MJ -jitc deal

Who loves Michael Jackson? Well here's a deal for you.

See Foreverland (a Michael Jackson tribute band) for just $12! They'll be performing at The Fox Theater in Redwood City, CA. Website here: FOX Theater.

Details: The tickets are for the show on June 25, 2011 - MJ attire encouraged. $12 gets you a ticket, that's a 60% discount! Present JITC Deal Code print out for entry. Deal is here.

Hope some of you go, and PUH-LEEZE send pictures!

Not gonna lie, I wish I were in the area. I'd have my black skinny pants & glove ready to go.


sponsored post. sharing the love kids, sharing the love.

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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Birthday Bro's

Today I'm re-posting something that I wrote 2 years ago. 2 years ago to the day. Today is weird for me. It's Father's Day. And I am glad that my children have a kick ass father. And Mr. Kiss has a kick ass father. And we celebrated them. But I don't really remember my father. My 3 older brothers were more "father figures" than anything. I miss my brothers. And so I'm sharing this from 2 years ago - the new words just wouldn't come today...


42 years ago, my brother K was born. He was the 3rd of my mother's eventual 6 children.

On his 9th birthday, while he tried to enjoy a day at the lake, he instead got the gift of a little brother. Yep, my bro P, the 6th kid, ruined K's birthday. Or made it the best b-day ever, I'm not sure, I was little.

I'm the 5th of 6 kids. P and I were thick as thieves when we were little. Our 4 older siblings were each two years apart, wait six years, I'm pretty sure I was 'whoops' then Momma had P to keep me company. We were the 'little' kids. The babies. Our siblings took care of us, teased us, threw us around, taught us, parented us.

When I was a senior in high school, Momma had an amazing opportunity for a new job. It was midway through the school year - my senior year - and there was NO way I wanted to move. So, in a decision I know must have been so hard for her - she let me and P stay - alone - in our house and moved 3 hours away because this job just wouldn't wait.

I worked part time, drove P around to his sports and such. I had my first experience with being a 'mom' even tho I'm not sure I was very happy about it. But it was the best choice for us. It was a family decision. And P and I made it through.

The next year he was Junior in HS and moved to live w/ Mom, while I moved to Montana to live w/ my sister. I worked 3 jobs, enjoyed being free, and 'sewed some oats' before deciding I didn't want to work like that for the rest of my life so I moved back close to home and started college.

One Monday morning, a cold cold January morning, P went for a ride with his girlfriend. Turns out, it was the last ride of his life. He was 17. He was a senior in high school. He was too young.

I was in college, on winter break, actually, staying w/ a friend. Mom had to track me down. Actually the sheriff tracked me down because my mother was understandably not well.

The past 16 years have been - well - they've been.

Sadly, life moves on. I got married, without my little brother present. My husband didn't get to meet P - my best friend on earth. I had kids, without my little brother present. My kids don't know their Uncle P - in person. My first son is named for my brother, yet he'll never know, really know, what kind of guy he was. He'll hear more and more stories, but because of some icy roads and a mini-van driver not paying attention, he only has pictures of his Uncle.

Thankfully, I'm not sad today. Today I remember my brother and remember his birthdays growing up. I also think of my older brother, and wonder if his birthdays have ever been the same. He had to share from the time he was 9. And since 1994, is he reminded that his kid brother should be celebrating w/ him? I don't know.

I called my mom today. I plan to call K later. And I will sing Happy Birthday to my brothers, both of them.

Love you P! Hope God gives you lots of free time today!


Today P would be 35. K is 44. Happy Birthday Brothers. One on earth and one with God. I love you both.

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Juice Deal - $40 for a massage!

For the Northern Cali readers, what a killer deal!

The Juice in the City Deal of the Day for Monday 6/20 is 50% off a 1 hour Swedish massage at The Massage Garage.

If I could afford it, I'd get a massage every single week.

Details: You pay $40 for an $80 value 1-hour Swedish Massage. The Massage Garage is in Walnut Creek, CA. Once purchased, the coupon will expire on December 20, 2011. Limit 3 per person (1 for you, may purchase 2 as a gift). Excludes gratuity [tip for good service, kids!]. To use coupon, appointment required. 24-hour Cancellation Policy: JITC Deal Code will be void if an appointment is missed without canceling or rescheduling 24 hours in advance. Don't be rude, right?

Deal ends tomorrow - good luck! Massage Garage Deal

sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Let's talk about waxing

Let’s talk about waxing.

No, not waxing poetic. Not that. The hot wax that rips the hair off of your body.

That waxing.

I should preface this by saying I’m blond. And not particularly, um, hairy. Ok? Got that?

But I do like to trim the bushes, ya know? I do not like rockin’ the pizza slice. And I used to do it by myself. Then one day a new family moved into the neighborhood and the ‘established’ ‘hood mommas invited this new momma over for drinks. New Momma is Irish. Doesn’t everyone just want to sit and listen to that Irish brogue for hours? Well I could. Long story short, on the very evening that we met, I had to share the story of how I had an “incident” shaving down below.

She asked me to expand. Fine – I sliced right up my labia. I did. And it bled like a motherfucker. And then I had to wash off the shaving cream. And I screamed like a banshee. Twice.

As she watched me with that “I’m fucking horrified face,” I thought I was a goner. She’s probably thinking Who are these people and why am I in her basement? But no – she then told us that she’s an esthetician. Has been schooled by Elizabeth Grady. Since having her twins, she doesn’t work there anymore, but does offer services out of her home. And she said she’d help me so that I’d never be slicing and dicing my lady bits, ever again.

Now that’s the definition of a new friend. Sign me up.

Of course, after signing up, you have to wait a while. I had to let it grow. Out. A lot. I had the pizza slice. I hated it. Every time I’d see Irish, I’d say “Will you come check, is it long enough yet?” Yah, she was SO happy she befriended me. She’s wicked cool, though. Didn’t mind checking. Heh.

Finally the day arrived where I was to experience my first ever waxing. We planned to have dinner, too – you know, foreplay before she lured me to the basement to commence the hair ripping.

I was quite impressed with the set up. She has that big chair that you lie down on (the kind like when you get a facial), wax heating, gloves. All professional and stuff. I’m not typically shy by any means, and wasn’t on this night either, but I was a bit afraid of the actual ripping part. The pain of it.

Which is why I had 3 glasses of wine and a Percocet.

Didn’t feel a thing.

She chatted the whole time which also helped the situation. I’m telling ya, that brogue. She could have asked me to watch her kids for 3 weeks and I’d probably have said yes. Instead she just kept asking questions while applying melted wax to my hoo hah. I’d answer and then she’d peel that wax right off all quick like. Then, poof. Gone. Easy peasy.

Anywax, I see her quite often – for non ‘appointment’ type fun stuff. Our kids hang out. We do lunch. We’re very good friends. And when I need a touch up, I just pop in and we get it done.


This last time, the only way we could mesh our schedules was to have a playdate. Ok, whatever, no problem. 4 children 6 and under? They can keep themselves busy for 15 minutes right?

We go to the basement – and her set up has changed a bit – they’re redoing the room, so the chair is in the unfinished part. You know, like bare walls, stuff hanging around. Dangling lights. Well I’m all unclothed from the waist down, she’s going at it, ripping and I’m all doing the “sssssss” thing thru my teeth and grabbing the side of the chair. We’re almost done, when she noticed a small ingrown hair, and because she’s a professional and all, she couldn’t leave it be. So she was extracting that. It hurt like a sonofabitch, but I know out is better, so I screetched “just get it out!”

my view: [yes, that's my knee]

And then.

My 3 year old walked in.

Just as I’m all tense and laying naked on a chair and Irish is bent over me with gloves on and the room is bare and the dangly lights. He stared at me for a minute, saw some blood, stared at me again and then started screaming. A crying scream. “What is she doing to your Not Penis?**!” “I’m SKERD!” GAWD! I had to tell him that I was ok, that I had a boo boo that Irish was helping me with, that I was not hurt.

Oh lord, do I have enough savings for this child’s therapy? I doubt it. Seriously doubt it.

Especially because he still asks to see my boo boo on my ‘not penis.’

**click that link, it's damn funny

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NY pizza in CA!

I know some of you are in this area of Cali-Forn-I-A - *cough* Wowiee & Mad Woman *cough*

The Juice in the City Deal of the Day in San Jose, CA is for Bibo's New York Pizza.

I love me some pizza. And I LOVE New York style pizza. The deal even says it, you'll love it so much, you won't notice the cheese dripping down your chin (I was so going to say that myself. I totally was)

You Cali kids, take this opportunity to try it, you know want to.


You pay $10 for $20 worth of Bibo's Pizza. Once purchased, the coupon will expire on November 15, 2011. Limit 2 per person (1 for you, may purchase 1 as a gift). Excludes tax and gratuity (tip your waiter, people!) and not valid on delivery.

I'm drooling...

Hurry, deal ends in approximately 10 hours! Click HERE!!

sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

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Monday, June 13, 2011

Rockin' the Bump

This hot chick Shell? I forget how the hell she came up with this idea - but she's got a bunch of people sharing pictures of their Baby Bumps.

No, I'm not currently pregnant, nor will I ever be again - but when I WAS with child, I took lots of pictures. I said before, thank the sweet baby jesus I didn't blog back then, or you'd have been grossed out by the amount of pictures I had. I mean, really, you know I would have shared.

Over sharer. That's me.

This is the post I shared a couple of years ago: Rub the Buddah.

I totally loved my big fat pregnant belly. I'm way short, too - so my kids had nowhere to go but out. And I mean OUT.

Just a sample, there's a few more on the actual post.

With the second kid, I made a t-shirt that said "Oh Boy." Oh boy, indeed. #large

Thanks for hosting, Shell - I'll be bumping around later.

For Bumps!

I'm done now.

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Momma Juice? Maybe more...

Raise your hand if you're excited that it's Monday.

All 3 of you with your hands up, go away. You're not my kind of people. I need more weekends in my life. Like life full of weekends. Seriously.


I've been thinking a lot about money. How we're cutting some costs because Mr. Kiss is still unemployed. Don't get me wrong, we're thankful to have been a dual income family prior to his lay off...many don't have that second salary to help them out. But the thing is, we don't spend a ton to begin with. I'm pretty frugal, get lots of clothes at Target or second hand shops. But our little treats like nice dinners and baby sitters are going to have to be put on hold for a while.

Also, My Momma needs help financially and I told her I could do it. I have to do it. I owe her for all of the sacrifices she made to raise us. But helping her is going to be a bit tricky now. Mr. Kiss doesn't really understand this reverse support, he's never had to be in the situation to "want" for things. Ever. So I have to figure that out.

I have a point. Promise.

I've been reading a lot about this awesome company - Juice in the City. It's a unique daily deals site, think Groupon or the like - but it's totally local. For the small businesses in the city. Juice in the City was founded by two moms on Mother's Day in 2010. Each city has teams made up of moms who source deals based on their personal experience...not just companies who hire teams that have never set foot in the businesses they represent.

I love this: "We believe in supporting the local economy while at the same time, empowering moms!"

Juice [for short, heh] has been featured in USA Today, talk about a genius idea. They have teams in many cities already and are looking to expand. That's right, Juice in the City is coming to Boston.

I know some of you readers live in Boston(-ish) like me...Juice is looking for Local Business Consultants in the Brookline/Newton/North End and Beacon Hill area. If you're interested in becoming consultant, Juice in the City asks that you are familiar with the local community, the local hot spots and the places to go. I think that the key point is that spending money in the community means the money STAYS in the community.

Ok - my point. Thinking about money. I really wish there was something like this when my Momma was struggling to raise her 6 kids while going to college. She's always been a true promoter of local shops, even owned her own bakery. Since this wasn't around then (shame) here's hoping that this great company may be able to help some of you!

Want to work from home? If you're interested in becoming a local business consultant, check this out - Make Money!

Yes, it says "Make Money!"

On that note, I'm going to be promoting the deals with Juice in the City - so I need to tell you I'm getting paid. Moms helping Moms. That's pretty awesome.

You can follow Juice in the City on twitter @jitcboston and their facebook page. When Boston's deals are up and running, please subscribe!

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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Back to life, back to reality…

I call bullshit.

I don’t want to be back to reality. Alas, it happens. I’m doing highlights of my past week, how’s that for fun?

Friday night we had The Mother of all Birthday Parties for my 6 year old. We ended up with 21 kids. Most parents dropped off. It was I.N.S.A.N.E. With a capital Holy Fuck. In the end, we escaped without injury, my child received gifts galore and everyone had a blast. The kids, that is. Jury’s still out for Mr. Kiss and I.

Saturday – off to Savannah with my girl A. In bullet form –

  • She knew someone on the flight crew, which warranted free everything. Including a bottle of wine to go.
  • The Westin spa and resort in Savannah is mofo Huge. And luxurious. With the ‘heavenly’ beds.
  • Sunday morning, on our way across the river, the temp gauge near the water ferry read 100.2. I took a picture just before that at 100.0 I don’t ‘deal’ with that kind of wet heat very well.
  • Which lead us to Wet Willies. And Naked Willies. That’s all.
  • Paula Deen’s restaurant Lady & Sons? Highly overrated. I felt like my forehead was sweating butter by the time we left. Alligator Soul, on the other hand, divine. I even ate alligator.
  • If you don’t reapply sunblock every 2.2 seconds, you may get a sunburn. On only half of your ass. There are pictures. They will not be shown.
  • Cab drivers in Savannah are, um, sketchy. Mine was missing teeth and was barefoot. And he belched. And didn’t say ‘skuze me. HeebieJeebies.
  • I do not like Irish Car Bombs. But I can drink one to prove a point.
  • I gained a gay husband and he’s divine. I also learned of an iphone app called Grindr [no E]. Look it up.
  • 60-ish year old, slightly overweight women should not wear gauzy-see-thru white tops. Especially without a bra. There were nipples a flyin’!
  • A is a machine. That girl can dance and party like nobody’s business. Tuesday night I had to leave her in the bar so I could get a few hours of sleep before my flight on Wednesday. She’s still there, conferencing it up. In Georgia, that is. I’m not sure if she’s still in the bar or not. It could happen.
  • Coming home to temps hotter than Africa was pretty painful. Our AC is still broken. It’s going to be a breezy 100-ish today. And the kid’s kindy school? No AC. Or fans even. I’m tempted to go break him out and bring him to work, where I have a heater on at my desk.

Probably won’t happen, though – I have to meet a friend for lunch.

Selfish bitch, ain’t I?

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Friday, June 3, 2011

I'm outta here.

Friday, I’m in Love. That’s right, no angst or flip offs.

Half day of work for me today. “Work.” Then I get to go wrangle 159 balloons into my car, pick up a cake, put together tablecloths and napkins and other goodies for my kid’s birthday party. The weather is FAB for this event, this – his first ever “real” party with friends. Not too hot, not too cold, no rain. Mini-golf tourney is gonna rock. And then pizza, cake and homemade sundaes after? Dood, Big Kiss knows how to party.

I’ll be refraining from cake, though. Yep. So here’s the deal. I’m on a medically monitored diet. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired every 3 weeks or so. I’m not sleeping well (unless I drug myself), stressed out, have the belly fat that comes with not sleeping and stress. I needed help and finally got some. It’s not some “buy our food” or “drink this shake” program, or even counting calories…it’s a simple You must eat breakfast, x amount of protein at every meal and tons of veggies. The first couple of weeks, I’ve avoided whites (sugar, rice, potatoes, etc.) & fried foods. I’ve been really good and it’s actually giving me life style changes. Not just a quick fix.

They also recommend this powder in a jug of water once a day: Macro Greens.

It’s the equivalent of like 5 servings of raw veggies or something. I swear to god it’s even tasty. But holy shit.

No, I mean it. I’ve had to have a conversation with my colon begging it not to blow before I get to the bathroom.

They also provide a B-12 shot, I honestly have no fucking clue what it does, but I yanked up my pants and they shot me in the ass. I felt like an athlete getting steroids. Isn’t that what they thought they were getting? B-12? But it was really human growth hormone? Whatever, doc says get the shot, I took the shot.

I am sleeping better and have lost a few pounds off the gubba, so I’m happy I’m sticking to it.

Which brings me to my next dilemma. Vacation. Hell Yes, I’m taking a chic vaca, leaving tomorrow. My girl A and I are going to Savannah. We went there like 9 years ago and totally loved it. That trip, we drank from sun up to sun down. Visited the gay bars. Went to a drag show. Full on entertainment. This trip, we plan to lounge by the pool. A lot. We may surface around town to say we “did something” but after the winter we both had – lounging is much needed.

We're also going to walk, which we're actually excited about (?!) My blisters are healed, I need to do a few miles a day when I'm gone.

ANYFUCK, the thing is? I’m gonna have to try to stick to my diet while there. I don’t want to be a total downer, so I guess I’ll try to make good choices with 2 meals a day and let myself enjoy the 3rd. Probably lunch since that’s my biggest meal on a typical day.

Whatever. If I don’t lose, I’ll be OK with it. I’m going to try to be good but if not, I'll survive & reset when I get home.

Peace out, kids. Don’t be all brilliant when I’m gone. I’m just going to hit “clear all” when I get back anyway ;)

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