I make cute kids. Rockin the Babies!

Lil Miss Shell - she's such an evil genius. Last month, she had us Rockin' our Bumps.

What does that lead to? Rockin' the babies!!


I did love my big fat pregnant belly, both times - but gotta admit, the results are a lot cuter. Cue the tears as I spun through the millions of pictures of my babies. Take a looksee for yourself.

Big Kiss at his first July 4th Party. 4 weeks old.

Big Kiss at 9 weeks. His cheeks remain...

Big Kiss at 5ish months. Lobstah!!

OK - seriously my fave pic from his first year. Ever.
Big Kiss almost 6 mos. I had to hold him up.

Lil Kiss at 6 days old. He was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia.
We were in for 10 days :(

He's all - pneumonia can't keep me down, back the Eff up, yo.

Same Lobstah costume. Lil Kiss 2 mos old.

I mean, come on! Lil Kiss 4ish mos old.

A Juicy Reminder - Coming to Boston!

Remember that post I wrote letting you all know that Juice in the City is coming to Boston? NO?? Do you NOT commit to memory every. single. word. I type? Fine. Well, it’s here, if you’d like a refresher (you know you do – and – Ahem – one of the JITC founders commented on that one. Uh huh.)

My thoughts in that post still ring true, even as my Momma still struggles with expenses. And Mr. Kiss still hasn’t found a job (up to appx 130 rejections now). We had to install a new furnace. The ‘old’ car didn’t pass inspection, so more money had to be spent just to drive it away. Expenses. Money issues. Sigh.



Anyjuice, a reminder to any Boston Moms who would be interested in becoming a Local Business Consultant for Juice in the City – check them out. Especially if you’re in the Brookline/Newton/North End areas. If you’re familiar with your community, know of some great local hot spots and places to go – give this a shot. The info is here – and yes, like I said before, it says MAKE MONEY!

Moms helping moms. Nothing better.

You can follow Juice in the City on twitter @jitcboston and their facebook page. When Boston's deals are up and running, please subscribe!



sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

also - comments may or may not be working. blogger is being a total assclown.

Rockin' the Bump

This hot chick Shell? I forget how the hell she came up with this idea - but she's got a bunch of people sharing pictures of their Baby Bumps.

No, I'm not currently pregnant, nor will I ever be again - but when I WAS with child, I took lots of pictures. I said before, thank the sweet baby jesus I didn't blog back then, or you'd have been grossed out by the amount of pictures I had. I mean, really, you know I would have shared.

Over sharer. That's me.

This is the post I shared a couple of years ago: Rub the Buddah.

I totally loved my big fat pregnant belly. I'm way short, too - so my kids had nowhere to go but out. And I mean OUT.

Just a sample, there's a few more on the actual post.



With the second kid, I made a t-shirt that said "Oh Boy." Oh boy, indeed. #large



Thanks for hosting, Shell - I'll be bumping around later.

HA!
Bumping!
For Bumps!
HA!

I'm done now.

Monster

We're all perfect parents right?

Never yell. Never serve preservatives to our cherubs. Always comb our kids' hair. Houses are spotless. Skinny and pretty soccer moms.

Heh.

Jaysus, if you ARE that kind of parent, you may wanna move along because this ain't the place for you.

Still here? Cool.

Now I want to send you away: Today I'm admitting one of my MANY failures as a mother. At Natalie's place (the famed Mommy of a Monster).

Love her Monster Mommy Moment feature.




Go read that shit.

If you judge me, you're an asshole.

But don't worry, I'm pretty much ok with that.

Mega Monday Update. Oof.

Holy Balls, I feel like November just flew by. All of 2010 actually.

Just here to share some thingies.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, we decided to start a new tradition with the boys. Indoor Water Park. Yes, this is a tad insane - considering I had consumed approximately 23948729 calories the day before. I'll just say I had Nothing to worry about - I was lookin' good. And sportin' the pigs, obvs.



The boys totally loved it and slept really well after - Win!


Lookie here! I got a few gifts:

I was lucky enough to be asked to take part in a Mug Swap for the holidays. The lovely and charming KLZ at Taming Insanity drew my name - stoked! My hot mug has her blog button and says "Battling Beavers since 2010," Beavers are funny.


While we're at it, she's in this contest to go to the Blissdom conference. Help a sista out and vote. Please?? Just do that shit. Send KLZ to Blissdom!

I also got a Mug O' Boobs from that Mad Woman. Not for the swap, just cuz she loves me and knows I like boobs. Boobs. Say it. It feels good.




I sent a mug to The Truth about Motherhood. Poor thing, I wasn't as creative as these ladies. She has a white mug with the back of my head on it. Because who wouldn't want to have coffee out of that?

Moving right along, Liz at a belle a bean and a chicago dog honored me with the Chicago Dog award. She wrote the funniest post about how she thinks of certain bloggers as buddies. My buddy? Kimberly who blogs here. She's hilare, and really does 'talk' like me.

Little does Kimberly know, I already ate the best part of the dog...



Ok. Tired yet? Sorry, and fyi? I'm actually awake right now. Yes. At almost 2am on Monday morning.

But don't go yet! There's MORE!

I was able to take part in Gigi's "Thanksgiving Table" and I'm pretty sure my day is today. Or tomorrow. Monday. I think. Anyway, go read, please? It's a MK memory of a childhood Thanksgiving.

Last, but definitely not least, my girl A? She had her first dose of chemo on November 18th. She waited and waited to feel sick. Never came. She's taken to calling her cancer her "mess," and the next part of this mess is losing her hair. That hot shit is taking charge and she wants NO part of the hair 'clumping' out. So on Wednesday, she's going to shave her head. Just a few of us will be there, and if she needs me to, I'll be sitting next to her in the chair. A? Has a wig picked out and paid for. Me? Not so much. But I hear the halloween stores are having a wicked sale, so, you know, I'll figure something out. Thursday she'll have her next dose of chemo and continue fighting this mess.

Let's sum this up.

The only "shower" I had in a matter of 3+ days was at a water park, I have new coffee mugs, I'm so cool I don't need ketchup, I have a thanksgiving post up after thanksgiving and A is a fucking inspiration.

Any questions?

A few of my favorite things - MK Memory

Thought I'd share this from last year - a tour of my Christmas stuff!

Anyone want to join in? I'll do this again for my 2010 decorations and add a linky. How's the second week of December.

I'm totes in the Christmas spirit this year. It's hit me like a mack truck and I am just going with it.

Sing along with me, will you? "Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens..." - Oh hell to the NO - I'm NOT a cat person. But, the whole "favorite things" are making me smile.

I give you...

Momma Kiss' favorite Christmas Decorations!

This is taken from my front entry way. Actually Big Kiss took it, just this evening. Our living room has this huge open ceiling that provides for a lot of light and living. We LIVE in our living room. No plastic on the Kiss Hizza couches. So the ornaments hanging from the upstairs ceiling and the lights on the banister up and around the look-over make me mega happy. Also? Do ya see that little mistle toe? Do ya? It's actually a kissing ball - and gets a lot of action if I do say so myself.

My very first 'ornament' received upon moving to Boston. It was some decor for my cubicle, as I was part of the zoo called Public Accounting...and tho we were rarely in the office, when I was - it was nice to see this lil plush poinsettia at my desk.

This lil' beauty was given to me by my mother in law. The first Christmas "out East" was my first in 26 years that I wasn't with my mom. By the way, I was 26. So yah, my first EVER. And my future in-laws really made me feel welcome. They had all sorts of presents for me and even a stocking. Hello loved! Plus? She sorta looks like me - so yah, it's a keeper.

Moving right along, yes, this is a New York Yankee's ornament. Get over it. I met Mr. Kiss at a Yankee game. So it's a treasure.

I now present the crystal tree that hangs on my real tree! Given to me by a dear dear friend about 8 years ago. It's sparkly and catches every single little light.

It was Christmas of 2006. I had an 18 month old cherub. We dumped him off with Gram & Gramps and went to NYC for the weekend. Mr. Kiss surprised me with tickets to see A Christmas at Rockefeller Center (or whatever the Eff it's called - the Rockette's danced). Naturally, I had to buy this totally overpriced ornament, you know, for posterity's sake.

Got this the first year we owned a home. Not a 450 sq foot condo...a HOME!

My children made this last week. A paper chain. From post-it notes. Lovely.

Can you see how cute that little shit is? That's Big Kiss. When he was 5 mos old. Dressed as Santa. He couldn't even sit up, such a weeble. My hands were behind the curtain holding his fat ass up. I guess he was meant to be Santa that year.

Well Eff Me, you can't really see it. I may need to find another version of the picture.

Know what is NOT one of my favorite things?

One string of lights went out on my tree. ONE. In the fucking middle. Well actually near the bottom. I'm so pissed, I'm tempted to just leave it as is - you know - and we shall say it was The Christmas of the Retarded Half-Lit Tree.*

*At least we know Momma was lit when she tried to post this goddam thing.

p.s. Did you know how bad Egg Nog is for you? Especially the Sugar Cookie Egg Nog type? Really bad. Lots of calories and fat and sugar and all that yummy delicious goodness. Especially bad for you when you spike it. Because who Doesn't spike their egg nog?

p.p.s. If you can't tell where the lights are out, then you're clearly not as Christmas Tree Light Decorating obsessed as I am and we could never ever be best friends. The End.

Have yourself a Happy Halloween, y'all!

Would I Lie to You Honey?

A lovely writer Poppy tagged me in this. Her equally lovely friend Lori tagged her – so I’m calling you both out for making me-AHEM- I mean, *providing a topic* for me to share my words with you. If those links are wonky, well, feck off, I’m doing my best with firewalls and posting from crazy places and well, yah. Feck off.

Anyway.

I guess this is the only rule: You write six pieces of info about you. Five of them are lies. One of them is true.

1- I was the homecoming queen my senior year of high school.

2 - I was engaged to someone else before meeting my current husband. I called it off because he cheated on me with a hooker.

3 - When I was 8, my little brother and I were walking home from school. We were latch key kids. Someone called my brother a sissy, and so I punched him. This kid’s nose began to bleed and he started to chase me and I tripped and slid down the hilly road. On my forehead. He retreated the other way because my head was ripped open and bleeding. My brother and I proceeded home, unlocked our door, he helped me clean my head wound and we pinky-swore not to tell Mom what really happened. I mean, she was gonna be pissed enough at the bloody washcloth.

4 - In college, I was the RA in the dorm, went to all the pep rallies for football and marched on the quad for any cause imaginable.

5 - I was in a traveling marching band as a kid. It was a family affair… My mom played bass drum, my brother carried water bottles and I was a flag girl. My first ever crush was on the tuba player.

6 - I listen to Christmas music starting in October.

Now. Let’s see if I bamboozled any of you with my lies. Can you tell which one is true?

Answer will arrive shortly. I don’t have it in me to tag anyone. I mean, some of you I’d LOVE to “tag” but, you know, just not for this :p .



Play along with Word Up, Yo! at
a belle, a bean, and a chicago dog
Mommy of a Monster
Taming Insanity

Momma's Momma. Again.

I finally called my Momma back. I knew she needed to chat and, dammit, I should have done it sooner.


She’s still dealing with incredible bouts of pain from her rheumatoid arthritis. She doesn’t want to take her pain pills (recovering alcoholic – afraid of addictive behavior). She’s depressed. She’s low on funds.

She’s hurting and I can’t be there and that hurts me.

Sure I can send money. And I can make her laugh til she pees (I mean, who do you think I learned it from?) But I can’t be there to hug her. Or rub her knee or her wrist. Or just hold her if all she wants to do is sleep.

I hate being in the position to NEED to comfort my own Momma, but hate worse that I can’t physically be there.

So I’ll be sending her love and laughter across the miles. And sending one up to the big Guy in the Sky. If you’d be so kind, and believe in some sort of God, I’d appreciate a helpful thought for my Momma. We call her Ju Ju.

MoochAhhsssGrahhssyAhhss.

When you care enough to send the very best

The other day I got a card from a friend.

In the MAIL.

Not just a "hi" e-mail or an e-card (which I also love) but a real piece of paper that she had to write on and stamp and everything.  And there is just something about getting fun stuff in your mailbox instead of bills and magazines.

So here's the card:

And the inside:

I almost totally cut off the writing, but the personal note [even though you can't read it] made me smile. Big.

Now - here's my request. 

Someone in your life need a laugh? A sibling? Friend? Your mom? Think they could use a long distance 'cheers' or 'miss you' or 'just thinking of you' note?

Send them a card. A real one. It will make their day AND you'll feel really good about it.

Do it!

Or your punishment will be 20 lashes with a wet noodle.

Um, virtually, of course.