Wickedly Ghoulish!

We have this little tradition in our neighborhood on Halloween. Let me start by saying we live in a great little area. There’s one street in, 4 little streets off of it, 2 cul-de-sacs and a shitton of kids. Trick-or-treating is frightfully awesome. We’ve even noticed that strangers full of ghoulish kids and adults alike have been ‘traveling’ to our ‘hood for a lil T-O-T action.


So that’s the back story.





















This Sunday, after church and football and skating lessons, we’ll gear up for it. We’ll don our spooky costumes. We’ll paint our faces. We’ll hide the dog [he likes to sniff crotches and will be howling like a banshee from the basement when we have to lock him up. Shut up, it’s for the greater good].

Why, you ask?

Because, you see, when guests show up at our doors and scream Trick OR TREAT, their sweet little princesses and boogey men are offered candy from the kid-cauldron. The parents are offered a sip from the adult-cauldron.
















That’s right. A drink at every house. Wicked wine in a sippy. Shots in from a test-tube shot glass. Beer in a creepy cup. You can hear the cackles 6 houses away.

Of course, the one who got the short straw and is stuck at home doesn’t have to drink for every guest. Come on people! No worries, though – we catch up at the party house at the end of the night. As fate would have it, one of the neighbors was born on October 31st. They typically plan a little shin-dig with wings and cocktails. The kids are all high on sugar; the parents all feel like zombies from the trip around the block. Fabulous, I tell you.

















Don’t you wish you lived near the Kiss Hizza ;)

Would I Lie to You Honey?

A lovely writer Poppy tagged me in this. Her equally lovely friend Lori tagged her – so I’m calling you both out for making me-AHEM- I mean, *providing a topic* for me to share my words with you. If those links are wonky, well, feck off, I’m doing my best with firewalls and posting from crazy places and well, yah. Feck off.

Anyway.

I guess this is the only rule: You write six pieces of info about you. Five of them are lies. One of them is true.

1- I was the homecoming queen my senior year of high school.

2 - I was engaged to someone else before meeting my current husband. I called it off because he cheated on me with a hooker.

3 - When I was 8, my little brother and I were walking home from school. We were latch key kids. Someone called my brother a sissy, and so I punched him. This kid’s nose began to bleed and he started to chase me and I tripped and slid down the hilly road. On my forehead. He retreated the other way because my head was ripped open and bleeding. My brother and I proceeded home, unlocked our door, he helped me clean my head wound and we pinky-swore not to tell Mom what really happened. I mean, she was gonna be pissed enough at the bloody washcloth.

4 - In college, I was the RA in the dorm, went to all the pep rallies for football and marched on the quad for any cause imaginable.

5 - I was in a traveling marching band as a kid. It was a family affair… My mom played bass drum, my brother carried water bottles and I was a flag girl. My first ever crush was on the tuba player.

6 - I listen to Christmas music starting in October.

Now. Let’s see if I bamboozled any of you with my lies. Can you tell which one is true?

Answer will arrive shortly. I don’t have it in me to tag anyone. I mean, some of you I’d LOVE to “tag” but, you know, just not for this :p .



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I could SO be a soccer mom

I have been grinning like a kid on Christmas morning since posting on Friday. New visitors, amazing comments, great feedback - makes for a happy MommaKiss, I'll tell you that much.

A big fat Thank You for the comments, except that one douchebag. You know who you are [and I love you anyway].

Weekend sorta flew by. Guess that happens to a lot of us.

I have a lil story to tell and decided to use it for a friend's writing prompt, so here goes.

My BigKiss is 5. I didn't really deal with that very well, but we had a great summer, a shaky start to kindergarten and now he's immersed in his first organized sport.

Soccer.

Yes. Soccer.

Now, listen, I'm not really the kind to schedule the hell out of my kid's free time, not to mention, MY weekend time, but I digress. My friggin husband signed him up and said "By the way, Saturday at 9 is his first game and you're on for snacks. GiddyUp." Asshat.

Thing is, it's turned out to be pretty good all around. He started the Saturday after his first week in Kindergarten. A girl from his recess period and a kid from his daycare are on his team and 2 other kids in his class are on other teams. He actually goes after the ball and is pretty quick, so there's that. I was a bit worried he'd be the little wuss on the sidelines and we'd have to push him on to the field, but nope - he was all excited and likes playing.

We're usually up early on Saturdays, so our new routine is to go get bagels and an XL coffee for me then join the other townies at the soccer field.

I guess I could lie and say I'm his biggest cheerleader, but I'm not. I look over once in a while and say "go blue" or some shit, but mostly I sit in my chair and people watch. If people watching were an olympic sport, I'd be quite a medal contender.

Things I've learned in the 2 weeks we've been there?

I'm NOT a soccer mom.

Well, if the definition included hangover breath being masked by coffee breath + hat & pigtails + bomber shades + yoga pants + flip flops + NOT a minivan, well then yah - I'm a soccer mom. Some of the others I'm seeing? High waisted khakis with granny undie panty lines? "Mom" haircuts? Crocs and SOCKS?! Problems all around, people.

Not to mention this sight:

He's our age. That's One Helluva Combover!

So he's "that dad" who's on the sidelines yelling during every exchange "Nice steal, Johnny!" "Great goal, Johnny!" "PASS IT TO JOHNNY!" Does he realize these kids are only 5? That there are no goalies or out of bounds? Or that maybe if Johnny wasn't such a fucking show off, the other kids would pass once in a while. Total Asshat.

Oh, Also? Mr. Kiss took that picture, just for me. He may have redeemed himself from the sleuth-soccer-sign up asshattery.

I can't wait to go back next week ;)


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trying word up this week: