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Momma Kiss: July 2011

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday Flip Offs 7-15

I didn't plan to Flip shit off today, but DAMMIT, I have to!

Don't know what Friday Flip Offs are? Well. What I do is post my grievances on Friday so that I can enjoy the weekend, hopefully guilt free. Yah? Yah. OK - so join in if you want. Grab a button. I'll even try to get that linky working again. [not the most technically sophisticated kid here.]

So my only flip off today?

TO MYSELF! My kid lost his 5th tooth yesterday. He's now lost 3 on top, 2 on the bottom. And he knows the tooth fairy routine. [Check this pic of the day he lost his first toof - he's fucking cute.]

Anyway. We use a super special dish for the teeth. It's from Mr. Kiss' gramma, it's the perfect size and we put it on the dresser. Who the hell fishes for teeth under a pillow? Jeesh. So he went to bed, excited about getting money. And then so did I.

I heard him wake up, heard the glass dish open, heard it close and smacked my forehead.

I. Forgot. To Put. The Money in.

Mind you, Mr. Kiss could have done it himself. But he didn't. So we both forgot. But WTF, there's another Flip Off. WHY is it that I take all the guilt? Whatever.

The thing is, this kid is such a schmoopy happy boy. He's generally well behaved. And he is SO into this crap. The tooth fairy, Santa, The Elf on the Shelf, Easter Bunny. Cripes, I could create a fictional person like a Master Pooper Scooper or something and he would probably believe in it.

And that is magical to me.

And I fucked up.

My solution to this fuck up is to recruit a friend [Thank You Poppy] to call my phone today and leave a message pretending to be the tooth fairy, saying she was sorry and too busy or something. I'll play that message for Big Kiss later on when I pick him up. Hopefully he buys it - and bet your ass he's getting double tonight.

There. I do feel a little better. A little. Tell me it's ok, even if you have to lie to me.

If this works, feel free to link up! I promise to visit - love me some Flips!

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Juicy - Smoooth Skin!

Today's Juice in the City Deal is for over half off Microdermabrasion.

(say that 3x fast!)

Although this gorgeous girl probably doesn't need it, I would LOVE to have this service. My "mature" skin would soak it right up.

You pay just $35 for a $75 value at Tropical Haven in Rosenberg, TX.

Details: Limit 1 per person, Expires January 15, 2012, gratuity not included (tip for good service, kids!) and if not cancelled within 24 hours, JITC code will be void.

Hope someone gets their smooth skin on! Click HERE to buy!

sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

WTF Weds 7-13-11

That's right, Poppy. I'll show you for blocking my ass on twitter. I'm wearing these during the 3 Day.

You'll be forever known as "The Cookie Monster's Team Mate!" HAHAHAHAHAHA


Go link up with Hank's little "makid" ass, will ya? It's WTF Wednesday, y'all!

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Monday, July 11, 2011

I make cute kids. Rockin the Babies!

Lil Miss Shell - she's such an evil genius. Last month, she had us Rockin' our Bumps.

What does that lead to? Rockin' the babies!!

I did love my big fat pregnant belly, both times - but gotta admit, the results are a lot cuter. Cue the tears as I spun through the millions of pictures of my babies. Take a looksee for yourself.

Big Kiss at his first July 4th Party. 4 weeks old.

Big Kiss at 9 weeks. His cheeks remain...

Big Kiss at 5ish months. Lobstah!!

OK - seriously my fave pic from his first year. Ever.
Big Kiss almost 6 mos. I had to hold him up.

Lil Kiss at 6 days old. He was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia.
We were in for 10 days :(

He's all - pneumonia can't keep me down, back the Eff up, yo.

Same Lobstah costume. Lil Kiss 2 mos old.

I mean, come on! Lil Kiss 4ish mos old.

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Juicy Deal - Mimosa Rose

Isn't that the prettiest name? I mean, it had me at "Mimosa," but you know.

Today's deal is for $0 for $20 in Gifts at Mimosa Rose in Katy, TX.

I always love when I can find a great little boutique with fun gifts to stock up on. Like this thank you gift:

The scoop: You can buy 1 per person, expires January 11, 2012 and excludes tax.

Hope someone can take advantage of this offer - it's a steal! Click here to buy!

sponsored post, sharing the love kids, sharing the love.

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Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday Flip Offs! It's time

That's Right, Kids.

Friday Flip Offs are back.

I think my last one was in April, the day that my husband was laid off. Because of the fucking French. Anyway - lots has been going on and I think it's time to share the angst! Let out all of your frustration and Flip Shit Off on Friday so that you can enjoy your weekend.

Let's Do It!

(I even have a button!)

First, I'd like to give a huge middle finger salute to my sister. Who once again has proven what a cuntbagtwatwaffle she truly is. I recently spent 10 days with her daughter, and though I wasn't fishing for dirt, at all, I learned that her mother (CBTWSister) is trying to manipulate this kid for money. Out of the utmost respect for my niece, who is one of the most genuine, smart, kind, gorgeous people I know, I won't go further. Other than to say that karma's a bitch, CBTWSister. You'll get yours one day. It's sad, truly sad, but you will.

Second Flip Off? Adult Acne. I admit I'm an old bitch. I'm 36 . And it's not raging cystic acne, no, but still. I get those underground pimples. Typically right in the corner of my nose or near my hair line [fucking summer heat].

Exhibit A:

Yah. Right there. The size of Russia. Can you see it from your house? [don't mind my hair, I had just gone for a walk and was all schweaty].

While we're at it? I'd also like to say Fuck You to aging skin. Dayum, I finally got serious about sunscreen last year - but can't get rid of those sun spots on my cheeks. Fuckers.

Exhibit B:

To my fucked up pinky toes. I double finger flip you off. I am walking and walking to prep for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk. [DONATE HERE!!! you knew I'd get that in there, right?] My legs are ready. Even my chub rub, thanks to Body Glide, which I intend to own stock in, the shit's so awesome. Anyway, my pinky toes, they just curl right under their neighbor toes and get crushed. So I use moleskin, blister bandaids and even dry fit toe socks. Yes, click that, it's a picture of said socks and it's fun. I will NOT let sore feet stop me from walking 60 miles in 3 days. I won't. If they need to be cut off, so be it, I'll finish this walk because, together with my teammate Poppy, we've raised over $6,500. InFuckingCredible, right??? We are. And my toes better not fucking let me down.

Finally, Flip off to money worries.

Truly. This one is focused on my momma, though - she recently moved from MT to WI - which was good for her - but hasn't found a job yet and social security isn't covering her monthly expenses. Can I be honest, Kids? She is the very reason I said yes to help promote Juice In the City. Not only are they a kick ass company of moms helping moms, but any money I'm making on sponsored posts? All for my Momma. It's the least I can do. So while I'm saying Fuck Off to money worries, I'm saying THANK YOU for putting up with me pimpin' deals for Juice.

this linky code should work - let's pray, eh?

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JITC - Oink Cluck!

HA!! I couldn't resist sharing this Missouri City, TX deal with you...The name of the place??

Hoggs n' Chicks!

Get it? Oink? Cluck? Come on people, laugh at me!

Ok - details - you pay $7 for $15 worth of food at Hoggs n' Chicks (snort!) Limit 1 per person, only 100 available so hurry up! Valid at these 2 Missouri City locations: Sienna Shopping Center and Township Square. Excludes tax, gratuity and alcoholic beverages

(this place serves booze? Awesome!)

Click here to buy

Would you mind reporting in on the pulled pork sliders with chipotle mayo? Please??!!


sponsored post, sharing the love kids, sharing the love.

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Thursday, July 7, 2011

JITC - Tutti Frutti Fro Yo!

Today's Juice in the City Deal is from Tutti Frutti Frozen Yogurt in Kingsland, TX.

I love fro yo, especially in the summer when I'm all hot & sticky. Uh huh ;) And I'm told there are "a zillion and one toppings!" Whoa!

For my friends in the Houston area, this deal is good for a 50% discount on a treat: $5 for $10 worth of the Tutti Frutti frozen yogurt.

Fine print: Expires 1/7/12, limit one per person, good only at Kingsland, TX location. Excludes tax.

Click here to buy! - deal ends today [7.7.11].

Sponsored post. Sharing the love, kids. Sharing the love.

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

WTF WW 7.6.11

I'ma be a guest at SellabitMum's tomorrow (i think it's tomorrow) - Sharing some of my MinneSOHtah Memories...check it out! UPDATE, I'll be there on Friday. Silly MommaKiss. Silly.

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm a genius.

I know it's a long weekend up in here, and if I have my way, I'll be outside by the pool for ALL of it.

So I'm scheduling this - an idea to share. I'm nice like that.

We have a birthday party to go to on Saturday. It's actually one of the kids who came to Big Kiss' 6th birthday party - he fell in love with the place (mini golf, how awesome, right??)

Big Kiss is stoked and it's one of his buddies that goes to a different school - we don't see them much.

Today I was out for lunch and remembered I had to get a gift. Sadly, it didn't fit in our schedule to have my kid shop with me for his friend. He'll have to get over that.

I'm wandering the aisles of Toys R Us, picked something simple and then went to get a gift bag. Found the wall of bags, and every single one? Over $4. Four Bucks? For a throwaway bag?? And those were the plain ones, the ones with cartoons and shit all over them were at least $6.

I'm not cheap - but just couldn't see spending that kind of money on a bag the kid will rip up and toss within 2.2 seconds.

And then. I turned around and saw them. Reusable bags! Cute ones! AND?? Only $1.29!

Tossed the gift inside - Big Kiss will make a card - Buddy will get a bag to carry his swim crap around. Or his toys. Or whatever, I don't care.

Cute right?

I'm a genius. I know it.

Hope y'all are having a fab weekend like me (don't be jealous).

God Bless America!

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Friday, July 1, 2011

My Supercalifragilistic Girl A.

So yah. My Girl A. The one who was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer less than a year ago. The one who got herself thru 8 rounds of chemo this past winter. The one who had 38 (ish?) radiation treatments. The one who has Kicked Cancer’s Ass. That Girl?

Well. Let me just share a lil’ bit of an update. She’s feeling incredible. We’ve had some dinners, sleepovers, walks with her dog…she’s made her annual trip working for an out of state Golf Tournament – as well as a crazy week away with me to chill poolside and sight see in Savannah.

She’s feeling strong. Has been working with her personal trainer since February, continued her Pilates class throughout all of her treatment, ran two 5k races and signed herself up for the Disney Marathon in January. She is also the one responsible for signing me up for the Warrior Dash (which we did this past weekend). As we sloshed through miles of mud and jumped over fire and crawled over 30foot high walls – we were mostly smiles and enjoying ourselves. After one super hard, super muddy incline, she got to the top and said “I’d take chemo over that ANY day.”

Now that’s a Warrior, eh?

I’m so so so proud of her.

And of you people, for reading my words about my very best friend.

comments may not be working, bloggerthedouchebag! e-mail me if you feel the need to chat...

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Juicy Deal - FlattenMe Books

The latest Juice in the City Deal is $14 for a Personalized Photo Storybook by Flattenme!


This is a SUPAH bargain!

Flatten Me has award winning books, birthday party invitations, Christmas cards and gifts as seen on The View, Good Morning America, and the Today Show.

Details: You pay $14 for a personalized story book (value starts at $27.95). It's an 8x10 keepsake-quality hardcover storybook, sure to bee your kid's fave. I would buy the pirate book for my boys - I may just have to indulge... Expires July 1, 2012; Limit 1 per person.

Don't you want to read and REread for your kid every night? Don't lie, you know you do.

Deal is good from Friday 6/30 to Saturday 7/2 only. Click here to buy.

sponsored post. sharing the love, kids. sharing the love.

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