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Momma Kiss: She's sick.

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

She's sick.

I met her in the Fall of 1999.  I hadn't set eyes on her until I showed up with my moving van in the Southie alleyway. The house where we would become roommates. A mutual friend put us in touch as I needed a place to stay and she needed a help on the rent.

We didn't actually live well together. Sure, we were cordial and hung out a bit, but she wasn't more than a room mate. I'm kind of that way with girls, to be honest. It takes me a long time to let someone "in."

The next year I got engaged and my then fiance lived just 8 blocks away, so I moved out. This is when her and I became close friends. We exercised together, commuted to work together, met for happy hours, had sleep overs.  She worked her way "in" and we've never looked back.

She is my son's Godmother. She is my husband's confidante in all things "WTF is up with my wife?" She is my girl. She holds my secrets and my heart.

And she is sick.

Yesterday, my girl found out her biopsy results. She has cancer. The Big C. It's in her breast and her lymph nodes. This is all she knows. She's scheduled to see the oncologist tomorrow and on Saturday, Team A will get together with her for her self proclaimed "pity-party." We're going to figure out where to go from here.

I'm trying very very hard to not make this about me. But I'm scared. And I'm pissed. I'm fucking irate. I've cried a lot of tears and I'm sure more will be shed.

But on Saturday and every day that I'm with her, I will be her strength, no matter what it takes. Hell, if it comes to it, and she's in throes of chemo and she loses her hair, I'll shave my head with her.  I'm in. I'm so in and will fight with her.

She's my girl.

And she's sick.

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Blogger John said...

Cancer is a bitch. Fucking hate it.

She's going to beat it, knowing that you're there for her is going to be what allows her to do it.

Hang in there momma, hang in there momma's friend.

9/23/10, 10:04 AM  
Anonymous Jennerific said...

Sad news. I'm so sorry :(
It's amazing what doctors are capable of these days. She will be in my prayers for a quick recovery.

9/23/10, 10:04 AM  
Blogger Krista said...


I'm really sorry to hear of your friend's sad news. She is blessed to have such a good friend in you; you will be able to help her possibly more than even her team of doctors.

I hope her prognosis turns out as good as one can hope from here!

9/23/10, 10:05 AM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

You're an amazing friend. If you need someone to bitch to.. I'm your girl.

9/23/10, 10:06 AM  
Blogger Lisa..... said...

Your a good friend, and she's gonna need you. Cancer sucks.

9/23/10, 10:06 AM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

I'm so angry for you. And your friend.

I have goosebumps.

But. I am SO glad that your friend has a warrior like you by her side. You are going to help her kick cancer's ass because you are Momma and nobody messes with you.

Remember that.

Both of you guys will be in my prayers.

9/23/10, 10:10 AM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

You are an amazing person and she's lucky to have you with her through this.

9/23/10, 10:12 AM  
Blogger tulpen said...

It can be about you. Of course it can. 'Cause she's your girl.

Getting that hot poker ready.

9/23/10, 10:23 AM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Oh Momma. Keep being mad, be sure she's mad. You and your posse have to help her fight this fight.

Cattle prod in on the fire. Cancer, we're gonna fuck you up.

Now goddammit where are those tissues. Someone was supposed to bring the fucking tissues.

pardon my mouth.

9/23/10, 10:45 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

She's gonna kick Cancer's ass. How can she not with a friend like you on her side? Praying for her and for you.

9/23/10, 11:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Good god, cancer is such a bitch. She will kick it and with you by her side, how can she not? You keep being you and she'll get through it. xo,js

9/23/10, 11:11 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

This gave me goosebumps. You and your friend are in my thoughts!

9/23/10, 11:11 AM  
Blogger adrienzgirl said...

Any friend who will shave her head to support her bestie in chemo is AMAZING! WOW! Sending prayers and strength your way!

9/23/10, 11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAMN! this sucks! Fight with her HARD!!!! please keep us posted on her.

9/23/10, 11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn. A friend of mine was also diagnosed recently. Cancer needs to be flipped off all day, every day.

I guess the silver lining is what you said:
"I'll shave my head with her. I'm in. I'm so in and will fight with her."

I've never seen more care and compassion than when friends are diagnosed. If that was the norm, this world would be a better place.

9/23/10, 12:21 PM  
Anonymous annie said...

I'm so sorry for you both! I'm new here but can I still give a bit of advice (because I'm there myself) instead of telling her to stay positive, give her a safe place not to be. The part where we make everyone around feel better is more exhausting than the illness itself. Take good care of each other!

9/23/10, 12:36 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

God, love--I'm so very sorry.

9/23/10, 1:27 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Fuck cancer.

9/23/10, 1:28 PM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

Such big hugs for you.
If you want some strength, you email me. You be there for here and if you want I will be there for you.

And a whole lot of prayers for you.

9/23/10, 1:35 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I know what you are about to go through. It does suck and you do need to be her strength. But don't be afraid to cry and let her know how you feel. You won't be able to hide it from her, and she'll be pissed if you try. Just be there for her. And love her like you do.

9/23/10, 1:56 PM  
Blogger The Zany Housewife said...

What a load of bullshit. Fuck Cancer.

I'll be thinking of your friend this Saturday that she gives Cancer a nice swift kick in the balls.

You are a great friend and your show of solidarity will help her immensely.

My thoughts are with you both...

9/23/10, 2:08 PM  
Blogger WTH am I Doing? said...

Ugh. That's really horrible. Hopefully it's something the doctors can work with & it'll be a great story of giving cancer the finger & going on with life. Good both of you.

9/23/10, 2:14 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

I'm so, so sorry, for you and for your friend. I'm sending tons of good vibes her way.

She is lucky to have a friend like you.

9/23/10, 2:29 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

This is beyond horrible. And I'm so sorry. Really don't have much more to say other than Cancer is so f-ing lame. I will pray for a recovery for your dear friend!

9/23/10, 3:19 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Cancer is a total asshole. I am glad your girl has a friend like you. Hoping she'll beat the crap out of this. Thought are w/ both of you!

9/23/10, 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@trinalikeswine Praying for you and your beautiful friend....I teared up reading this...You will be her rock...Love to both of you...

9/23/10, 6:22 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I'm crying.

You are such a good friend.

Fuck cancer.

9/23/10, 6:27 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

OK, you just made ME cry. You both are lucky to have each other as such good friends. Keeping her in my prayers. Love you.

9/23/10, 8:11 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hugs to you. I hope she gets better.

9/23/10, 8:57 PM  
Blogger JenJen said...

hi dammit.

it's me. And I love you. You are such a good friend to her.

Cancer is a rotten bastard. I'm so mad too.

xo YIB

9/23/10, 9:26 PM  
Anonymous Sara @ Tedious Life said...

Cancer's a bitch and I've seen my own family members struggle with cancer.

She's so lucky to have a friend like you to support and help her while she's kicking cancer's ass.

I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

9/23/10, 9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sucks. You're an awesome friend, and she's lucky to be able to count on you.

Please keep us updated.


9/23/10, 9:42 PM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

Oh. I am sooo sorry. Life sucks sometimes. She will need you. Be her strength and then let your husband be your strength. You will all need to lean on each other.
I wish you all well.

9/23/10, 10:52 PM  
Blogger Momma Ski said...


9/23/10, 10:52 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

This cancer is going to have to take it up the tail pipe from Team A.

Love and prayers for both of you.

9/23/10, 11:05 PM  
Blogger Bag Lady said...

I love you, lady.

9/24/10, 12:35 AM  
Blogger Mommy NaniBooboo said...

Cancer has claimed too many of my family.
You are an amazing friend.
I'm sending you and your pal all the hugs ,and ass kicking I've got.

9/24/10, 1:17 AM  
Blogger The Sharp's said...

Girl,this sucks and there isn't much else to say, but she's got you. If she is anything like you, the two of you could kick the crap out of that cancer in a jiffy either that or scare the hell out of it!!! Wishing you both the best especially your girl!

9/24/10, 8:37 AM  
Blogger KLZ said...

I feel your rage. This whole "life's not fair" thing is real bullshit sometimes.

9/24/10, 10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is a mo fo. My father in law has bone cancer and he's been trying to kick it's ass for over 7 years. Every day he is here is a victory. My 6 year old son will be devestated to lose we all fight with him. I lost my dad to lung cancer at age 10, so I really, really, really want to punch cancer in the nuts.
Science is making great strides in this field and I am hopeful for your friend's recovery. She is going to need you for sure.

9/24/10, 11:40 AM  
Blogger Not Just Another Jennifer said...

Great post. That sucks. As a ray of hope, a friend of mine had the same diagnosis when she was 35. She had to have a mastectomy and all of her lymph nodes removed on one side. The prognosis was not good. She's been in remission for three years!!! Hang in there. (BTW, Stumbled you from Liz's BlogFrog)

9/24/10, 11:42 AM  
Blogger From Tracie said...

She is blessed to have you holding her hand and supporting her through this.

Cancer sucks. There is no other way to put it.

9/24/10, 2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I said it before but I'll say it again: your friend is so, so lucky to have you. In fact, should I ever go through a massive, traumatic life-threatening event, I'm gonna call you.

You both have a hard road ahead of you, but it's true what they say: a positive outlook is just as crucial as medicine.

9/24/10, 5:57 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

She's your girl, and you love her. Of course you're angry and irate. You're pissed and you should be. But that anger will make you all fight that much more.

9/24/10, 8:44 PM  
Blogger Ed said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/26/10, 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. You're a great friend.

9/26/10, 1:17 PM  
Anonymous Maureen @TatterScoops said...

My heart breaks but you are an amazing friend and I know God will use you well to help her fighting this ugly disease. Prayers are being lifted for your best friend, her family and her friends. May you all be strong.

9/27/10, 8:08 PM  

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