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Momma Kiss: October 2010

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Have yourself a Happy Halloween, y'all!

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Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday Flip Offs 10.29 MY BIRFDAY!


Flip Offs.

Figures, that one week after the Flips were gifted to me, it's a FAB day and I don't have much to flip off. Because, you know, it's my motherfuckin' BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh YAH, BABY!

I'm 27 again. If you know my real age, just shut your trap. I'm hot. And possibly in denial re: that hot factor.

In the interest of playing nice, though, I'm quite sure that many of you would love to flip some shit off. So please, DO. And please, Link that shit up.

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Wickedly Ghoulish!

We have this little tradition in our neighborhood on Halloween. Let me start by saying we live in a great little area. There’s one street in, 4 little streets off of it, 2 cul-de-sacs and a shitton of kids. Trick-or-treating is frightfully awesome. We’ve even noticed that strangers full of ghoulish kids and adults alike have been ‘traveling’ to our ‘hood for a lil T-O-T action.

So that’s the back story.

This Sunday, after church and football and skating lessons, we’ll gear up for it. We’ll don our spooky costumes. We’ll paint our faces. We’ll hide the dog [he likes to sniff crotches and will be howling like a banshee from the basement when we have to lock him up. Shut up, it’s for the greater good].

Why, you ask?

Because, you see, when guests show up at our doors and scream Trick OR TREAT, their sweet little princesses and boogey men are offered candy from the kid-cauldron. The parents are offered a sip from the adult-cauldron.

That’s right. A drink at every house. Wicked wine in a sippy. Shots in from a test-tube shot glass. Beer in a creepy cup. You can hear the cackles 6 houses away.

Of course, the one who got the short straw and is stuck at home doesn’t have to drink for every guest. Come on people! No worries, though – we catch up at the party house at the end of the night. As fate would have it, one of the neighbors was born on October 31st. They typically plan a little shin-dig with wings and cocktails. The kids are all high on sugar; the parents all feel like zombies from the trip around the block. Fabulous, I tell you.

Don’t you wish you lived near the Kiss Hizza ;)

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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday Blues

I have the Sunday Blues.

You ever get those?

I used to get them all the time in school. Like High School and college. Who am I kidding, I've gotten them through out the years.

But you know, how you have a super fun weekend and it's almost over and Monday is like Right around the corner and you have to face the reality of work and school and traveling husbands and wearing pants?


Sunday blues.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Six Word Saturday

Pandora's Breast Cancer Bracelet. Approved Pink.

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What I'd tell my 13 year old self

You know the company Dove? They make that creamy soap that isn’t soap? It’s the first “big girl” thing I remember my mom letting me use. Her Dove Bar. I think I was 8.

I’ve seen Dove’s most recent campaign called “Dove Movement for Self-Esteem” and I wondered how I could help. You see, when I was 13 – I could have used some help in the self-esteem department. My body was changing. My role-models were changing. I was in a single parent home. We didn’t have a lot of money. 13 is a HARD age.

Turns out, helping was easy. All I had to do was answer the following question:

“What do you wish you’d known at 13?”

How loaded is this question? Jeesh. At 13, I was going through a lot. Like I mentioned, I was in a single parent home. My mom took college classes during the day and worked most nights. Or vice-versa. She was divorced, and my father had recently passed away. When alive, he lived pretty far away, so she didn’t have help in parenting even before he passed away. I’m the 5th of 6 kids, and when I was 13 – it was just myself and my 11 year old brother at home. My 3 older brothers and older sister had moved on long ago.

I had to maneuver Jr. High and High School without my big sibs around to give me advice. I had to instead offer it to my kid brother, who was so freakin’ smart, he was in some of MY classes. Talk about an ego slammer. Well, I should clarify, I wasn’t dumb, at all, he was just THAT smart.

At 13, I was looking to get a job to help my mom support our family. I was wearing hand me downs from friends. I was cooking and cleaning. I was dabbling in ‘boys.’ I was NOT smart about that. Fortunately, unlike many of my friends, I did NOT touch alcohol, thank God. I waited til I was 17 for that ;) And didn’t enjoy it one bit.

So to answer the question, what do I wish I had known at 13 – I wish I had known that all of the responsibilities I thought were ‘torturous’ for a newly minted Teenager would actually prepare me to be a good mother.

Instead of resenting my own mother for “making” me do chores and hang out with my brother, I wish I had known she was actually teaching me life skills. Not to mention, that time with my brother? Well, it was cut short. Since he died when he was 17 – that hanging out time we had, I’ll never get that back. I wish I spent MORE time with him.

I wish I had known that the boys who teased me were just awkward teens themselves. They couldn’t help but be intimidated by my beauty. [sarcasm]

I wish I had known that my mother’s sacrifices for her children ran deep, and if she could have given me the moon, she would have.

I wish I had known that being 13 and being picked on by girls with 10 cabbage patch kids and 4 pair of Madonna Lace gloves – well – those were not the worst memories of my life. And swinging on the tire swing with my best friend? Those weren’t the best memories, either.

The best and worst were yet to come. My world did go on after my best friend dumped me for the Rich Girl who just transferred in. My world did go on after my ‘boyfriend’ told his friends our secrets.

Yes, at 13, I wish I had known that life would only carry on. It would get better, at times worse, but it would go on.

Anyone want to answer the same question? Try Dove’s site here: Dove Movement

And the next time you see a 13 year old girl, who may be struggling, tell her she’s beautiful, inside and out.

FTC Disclaimer: “Dove sent me a sample of product to answer this question. But I’d have written the post anyway. Self-esteem issues, especially in girls, is ongoing and I hope people keep talking about it.”

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Friday, October 22, 2010

FFO 10.22 - it's MINE

Didja hear that people? Gigi at KludgyMom got so pissed I "cheated" on that liar liar post, she decided she's over me and is just giving me Friday Flip Offs.

Really! I'm not even LYING! [so lying, but still wicked happy to take over, Gigi.]

I'm also going to honor some of the original FFO words that I've read...afterall, participating has brought me some incredible connections...

"Friday Flip Offs is my way of ridding myself of weekday angst and frustration before heading into the weekend. I virtually flip off whoever is on my last nerve. It’s very cathartic. The theory is that I don’t take anything out on my husband and kids, although the jury’s out on that.

Join in the fun! Don’t spend your weekend stewing over the little people and annoying situations that got to you this week!"

There's even a linky, people. So link your shit up and enjoy the weekend.

I've got a couple of flips this week. Just a couple. But they pack a punch. Promise.

Bitter Betties. I came cross this blog that links to people who vent about their kids on their own blogs or facebook or the like. This blog is a "community" of women who are infertile. Don't get me wrong, that sucks on a major level. But they see people bitching and venting about their kids, find it in their right to say "fertiles" should be thankful they even have kids and then continue to bash. Bash away, people. It's a free country. But don't be linking and calling people out for a moment of frustration, or even a year or so of frustration, raising kids. That shit is hard and if God gives you your own, kids, bet your ass you WILL one day not like your kid. You will ALWAYS love your kid, but there are days you will be the end of your rope and feel frustrated. You may even vent online about it. STFU Bitter Betties.

Also? Anyone who refers to a whole group of women in the world as 'fertiles?' Like Muggles or WOW'ers or something. Flip the Flip off. Holy NutterButters, people.

Boobs. Specifically my friend's boobs. They tried to kill her. So now? They're gone. She had those funbags cut the hell off. Double-Damn-Mastectomy. A is resting comfortably [high] and will continue her cancer fight with chemo after Thanksgiving. Boobs. Who needs them anyway. Flip off boobs, and fuck cancer.

A TOTAL non-flip off here? The *unbelievable* kindness of strangers. Unfuckingbelievable. I get all humbled and verklempt when I think about how much prayer and well wishes being pushed around for my friend...Annnnnnnnd, well, I'm going to stop before I start bawling again.


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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wordless Wednesday 10-20

Shhhhhh. I'm trying to whisper (wordless, ya know) But-You also may want to click

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I tried to lie to you...(answers)

Lookie Here! Some of you think you know me, don'tcha? I couldn't fool all of you - and I did sort of cheat. All of the info is slightly true, I just changed a minor detail to make it a lie.

Is it kinda cheating? Maybe. Sue me, I couldn't come up with total nutjob stories. Yah, even Me!

Whatever - here's the answers:

2 - I was engaged to someone else before meeting my current husband. I called it off because he cheated on me with a hooker. [LIE, he cheated on me, but with my co-worker].

3 - When I was 8, my little brother and I were walking home from school. We were latch key kids. Someone called my brother a sissy, and so I punched him. This kid’s nose began to bleed and he started to chase me and I tripped and slid down the hilly road. On my forehead. He retreated the other way because my head was ripped open and bleeding. My brother and I proceeded home, unlocked our door, he helped me clean my head wound and we pinky-swore not to tell Mom what really happened. I mean, she was gonna be pissed enough at the bloody washcloth. [LIE – only because it happened when I was 7, not 8.]

4 - In college, I was the RA in the dorm, went to all the pep rallies for football and marched on the quad for any cause imaginable. [LIES – I was so not a joiner in college AT ALL. And any free time I had was spent working because I paid my own tuition and rent].

5 - I was in a traveling marching band as a kid. It was a family affair… My mom played bass drum, my brother carried water bottles and I was a flag girl. My first ever crush was on the tuba player. [LIE, he played the trumpet. I was a wee 7 year old, and he was 15.]

6 - I listen to Christmas music starting in October. [LIE – I listen all year long. When I need a ‘happy place.’]

The correct answer is in fact Number Uno. Congrats, Poppy, Bethany, Megan and half-way correct Shell and Sherri I was the homecoming queen.

I have NO idea how that happened. I wasn’t Miss Popular. I wasn’t Miss 4.0. I wasn’t dating the quarterback or screwing the baseball team. I was kinda just everyone’s friend. So yah.


I have a crown, fuckers.

Bow to me.

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Monday, October 18, 2010

Would I Lie to You Honey?

A lovely writer Poppy tagged me in this. Her equally lovely friend Lori tagged her – so I’m calling you both out for making me-AHEM- I mean, *providing a topic* for me to share my words with you. If those links are wonky, well, feck off, I’m doing my best with firewalls and posting from crazy places and well, yah. Feck off.


I guess this is the only rule: You write six pieces of info about you. Five of them are lies. One of them is true.

1- I was the homecoming queen my senior year of high school.

2 - I was engaged to someone else before meeting my current husband. I called it off because he cheated on me with a hooker.

3 - When I was 8, my little brother and I were walking home from school. We were latch key kids. Someone called my brother a sissy, and so I punched him. This kid’s nose began to bleed and he started to chase me and I tripped and slid down the hilly road. On my forehead. He retreated the other way because my head was ripped open and bleeding. My brother and I proceeded home, unlocked our door, he helped me clean my head wound and we pinky-swore not to tell Mom what really happened. I mean, she was gonna be pissed enough at the bloody washcloth.

4 - In college, I was the RA in the dorm, went to all the pep rallies for football and marched on the quad for any cause imaginable.

5 - I was in a traveling marching band as a kid. It was a family affair… My mom played bass drum, my brother carried water bottles and I was a flag girl. My first ever crush was on the tuba player.

6 - I listen to Christmas music starting in October.

Now. Let’s see if I bamboozled any of you with my lies. Can you tell which one is true?

Answer will arrive shortly. I don’t have it in me to tag anyone. I mean, some of you I’d LOVE to “tag” but, you know, just not for this :p .

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Play along with Word Up, Yo! at
a belle, a bean, and a chicago dog
Mommy of a Monster
Taming Insanity

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Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Flip Offs 10-15

I woke up from a deeeeep sleep to post this. Talk about dedication.

No really, it's my self diagnosed sleep disorder. I have issues.

First - Friday Flip Offs. It is Friday, right? For Fuck's Sake, I can't even keep my shit together. Gigi is all blogging pro and shit, so you're stuck with me hosting the Friday Flip Offs.

I really only have a few flip offs.


That's Right. Cancer. And it's a pink-fucking-ribbon. But it's on my middle finger and A approves. A is getting the titties cut off on the 21st, by the way. Because of this stupid cancer. So FLIP OFF, breast cancer.

Also, bullies. Most specifically the SPAZ neighbor kid who's been the biggest asshole to my 5 year old lately. You get 2 double fingers and since I get to see you every. single. day. across the yard, you also get my eyes. On You. (and he so knows it now).

There's a linky below. Take some time, flip off things that make you apeshit, link up and have a great weekend!

Now, onto this Giveaway. You people seriously had me cracking my shit up. I need to do one of those "letters out of comments" posts because there's some pure gold in there. For real. If I were more "with it" right now, I'd totally share some favorites, but I'm not and it's my house and I'm the boss of me.

ANYWAY...after many hysterical comments...we have a wiener, people!

That's Right, KLZ. Your efforts totally paid off. Not for lack of competition, girlfriends! I'll let Ellie know - she's off at a conference being fabulous so it may be a few days until you get your grand prize award.

Last but not least, my girl MommyNaniBooBoo asked me for some assistance and I totally assisted: Read me. Here. It's about my child's choice for a Halloween costume. It's funny. Just fucking go or I break a silly band.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mean Kids - bullying

I’ve seen a lot of articles and news stories about bullying lately. I bought the People Magazine with the feature on bullying, and suicidal results from being bullied. I just read this on the site Ooph, which was written by The Empress.

Talk about heart-breaking. Her son was bullied daily. Daily. He was physically and emotionally impacted. The hard-hitting point for me, though, is that she didn’t fully clue into the problem until seeing her son’s doctor for his physical issues. Vomiting, losing weight, not sleeping. Those kinds of things…who would assume they were because the lil man was afraid to go to school? Who would assume it was because he was being tormented DAILY?

It’s awful. It’s unbelievable that it happens. But it does. It happened to me. I was bullied. We moved around a lot as kids, we were poor and never had new clothes. I ate on the “free lunch” program. I was an easy target. I fought back, sometimes. Others, I just ran away and hid. Words can never be unspoken. A kicked shin or pulled hair will heal or grow back, but the action may never be forgotten.

So yes, I went through it. Now that I’m a parent, it’s one of my biggest fears for my kids. I’ve wondered how to make them “good.” How do I raise them to be empathetic and NOT be the bully? At the same time, how do I raise them to be strong enough so that they aren’t the target of a bully?

My son who is 5 started kindergarten this year. He’s my ‘soft one.’ Don’t get me wrong, he’s ALL boy, but he has such empathy and emotion, that I do fear he’ll be seen as vulnerable to some prick who needs someone to validate his assholery. You’re aware that kids can be total assholes, right? Even at 5? Hell, I’ve met some 3 year old assholes. Anyway, since I can’t (nor have I ever had the chance to) watch him all day long – I have to rely on what he tells me. The stories of his day.

In the second week of kindy, he told me that his friend Christopher* punched him. In the stomach. I asked why, he said “Don’t know, because he wanted to.” Then he showed me his school folder and a note that Christopher had to write to Big Kiss saying he was sorry that he was “unkind.” Sorry that he had hurt him, on the inside and on the outside [he literally had to circle those options, he circled both]. And he signed it. We talked to Big Kiss about it, asked who he told when he was hurt [the teacher’s aid]. If he cried [yes]. If he felt scared of Christopher [no]. He seemed OK about it, but how can I be sure?

One day, his bus was late, so the 5 and 6 year olds were asked to take a bus with some older kids. That night at dinner, he told us that some “big” kid was unzipping his back pack and then took it and was about to throw it out the window until the bus driver “blew her mouth whistle” and told the kid to stop it.

So this week (wait, I need a little back story): Since kindy started last month, our routine is to drop both kids at daycare in the mornings before work. I leave Big Kiss’ backpack by the window and he plays in the gym until the bus comes to take him to school. I then bring Lil Kiss to his room, unpack his lunch, give sloppy kisses and all that mothering jazz. As I walk back through the front, I typically peek into the gym ‘til Big Kiss sees me and we give each other a thumbs up. Well on this day, before he saw me for the thumbs up, I noticed he was in the middle of 2 kids. One – our neighbor, who is a total spaz and some bigger kid I didn’t know. The bigger kid was pulling my kid around by his hood. All standing, but physically moving him. While The Spaz cheered him on.

My child had a half-laugh; half-I’m going to break down look on his face and I just stood there. I was cemented in the door way. I almost yelled out, but the sound didn’t come. I don’t even know what I would have yelled and before I could think it through, one of the teachers was there to break it up. She took the bigger kid’s hands off my kid’s hood and said something to him that I couldn’t hear and my guy just sorta straightened his hood and moved away a little bit.

I didn’t go in. I didn’t move for a second. Then the daycare director saw me and asked if I was OK and I said yes and then? I left. I sat in the parking lot and cried and wondered what the fuck was wrong with me. Why did I just leave? But more, what was happening to my baby boy? Is this going on more often than I’m aware? At the daycare in the mornings or afternoons? On the playground? In the lunch room? How would I know? How do I talk to him? He’s only FIVE. I don’t want to scare the shit out of him, but want him to know he’s got a right to be treated properly. And to also make it known that he should never treat another kid that way.

I’m sorta lost on this one. Any opinions welcome.

*Name totally NOT changed, little turd.

hell yes, i'm pouring my heart out. You mess with my kid, you mess with my heart. God help you if you break either one.

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Versatile Post

Thanks for showing Jennie the love yesterday. She's hella-funny and Obviously I like that sorta thing. 

I'm a bit under the weather today. Apparently yesterday, being a Major Holiday and all, kicked my ass. The kid's school and daycare were closed so I took the day off of work to be a mom. DAYUM, that's hard work all day long. Especially considering I was JUST with them for 2 full days on Saturday and Sunday. Kids killed me.

Stay-home-moms? You ROCK. Hard.

Not to mention, after they went to bed, I decided to celebrate the Holiday with wine. On a Monday night. Partay animal - leaving drunk comments all over the web. That's gonna be fun to re-live today.

Not to mention-mention [yes, i meant that double word. segue?] Mr. Kiss is traveling. Like all of October. So after being pulling a double on the weekend, I get to be a Single Working Mom for like a month.

Anyway, All of the above? That was all filler.

I'm really here to accept an award. I wish I was dressed better.

I typically suck at the rules of awards - but this one was bestowed upon me by a brilliant ladycakes. I'm not kidding, Chalupa, you got me. Right in the funny bone.
[listen, i'm on my crackberry - links may be wonky. p.s. wonky is so a word.]

For Real people - look who else she named here! All of them - genius. Some are new to me and I can't wait to stalk them. Erm, I mean, visit.

Also note, evidence of my "CWT" [commenting while tipsy].  That's Just Lovely.

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Monday, October 11, 2010

Meet the Modern Mamaz

Morning kids.

A few days ago, Jennie and I had some cawfee talk {fine, an e-mail exchange} and we decided to trade sites for a day.

Why does this appeal to me? A) you get to meet a new blogger {unless you already know her and if so, props.} 2) she's cute and 3) I don't have to write! WIN WIN for the fuckin' WIN!

So meet Jennie of the Modern Mamaz:

Grannie Panties and Wedgies Too
Somewhere around the fifth or sixth month of my pregnancy those sexy little string bikinis that used to be part of my every day attire seemed to have migrated to the back of the dresser drawer, only to be replaced by ones that took more fabric during production than our living room drapes. There’s something that happens during this time that triggers your brain to say to the rest of your body; “Ah, screw it. Who gives a shit, really.”

I don’t have anything against underwear that are so “full figured” they could easily serve two purposes; panties and bra. Hell, I’m a modern woman. I like to conserve. I do, however, take issue with the fact that I cannot keep them out of my ass. I am familiar with the feeling of having fabric up my rear, but there is a distinct difference between the feeling of a string and a Venetian blind. One creates a sensation of having been prison bitch the night before. Not cool.

Along with the change in underwear, I have reached a point where I am no longer able to wear my normal clothes. Well, comfortably. The dilemma here is that maternity pants have that cute little stretchy part on the top that also goes up to your boobs. This creates somewhat of a war between pants and panties. Both are fighting to be at the top.

“NO! I am going to be under her tits!” – Pants

“The hell you are! I’m closer!” – Panties

“I’m bigger!” – Pants

“That’s debatable!” – Panties

I’ve mastered the art of the “hop and pull”, “the shimmy-pick”, and the “hip roll – panty pull” as a result of this. Given some music, I’d closely resemble Elaine Benes at her Christmas party. Which, somehow makes me feel okay about it.

See? Cute AND funny! Here's her bio:

My name is Jennie Funkhouser, I am a 28 year old self proclaimed super mom. Yes, I went there. I am short tempered, over emotional, strong willed and way too opinionated for my own good. Or yours, you pick. 

I bit my toenails until I was in high school, I can never shut up, and I love my life. I am married to Scott, my perfect match and man that can literally fix or build anything. We have a 4 year old boy, Hunter, who is seriously the best behaved child I have ever encountered… no idea where in the hell he got that. Not me, I assure you. Our Daughter, Sophie, is 1 year old. She keeps us on our toes and our
hearts beating in a panic every minute that she is awake. Payback’s a bitch, I guess.

I spend my days as an internet marketer and one fantasticalicious mother. When the sun goes down, though… I like to get down and dirty, with you. On my blog. Get your mind out of the gutter. You can come and play with me on Facebook @ or Twitter @ModernMamaz. Or stop by my blog at I don’t even ask that you call first.

Don't forget to enter the Shining Stones Giveaway! Ellie, hope you're gettin' some biz-ness from the ladies!


Friday, October 8, 2010

Friday Flip Offs 10.8

Friday! I feel like a big ol' Yabba Dabba Dooooo - sliding down the fat tail of a dinosaur and clocking out of work for the week. If only stay-home-moms could clock out on Friday at 5, huh? I wish that for y'all.

Gigi's more than half way done with her blogging event, so you must put up with me for the Friday Flip Offs again.

OK. So my continual flip off? MotherFuckinCancer!!! Grrrr. My girl, my best friend who's has stage 2 breast cancer...well, she was supposed to have her lumpectomy on the 6th and a few days prior to that, while I was on vacation actually, she had another MRI driven biopsy...her cancer has spread. They skipped the lumpectomy and have scheduled her for a double mastectomy. Both "Ladies," being cut off. On the 21st.


She seems pretty positive. She said - "I'll never get breast cancer again." God love her. As soon as she heals, she'll move on with the chemo and then radiation.

She's strong. She's beautiful. She's hysterically funny.

She's still sick.

She's going to kick some cancer ass.

Not to mention, she's all "no pink" and there's pink shit EVERYWHERE for awareness month. Do not get me wrong, any time a cause is touted, it's a good thing...but avoiding pink for A isn't easy right now.

Yesterday, A's birthday, I re-posted and updated about her on the group blog Band Back Together. What an amazing, supportive group over there. As soon as Aunt Becky designs the Cancer is Bullshit t-shirt, I'm all over it. [thank you Natalie from Mommy of a Monster for sharing the info].

I'd also like to say Fuck You to red eye flights and time zones. Had the best BEST weekend in Cali with the girls, but holy hell my body still hasn't adjusted to the time zone change. The red eye sucked [thanks in part to the asshole teenager reading her homework on the plane. Out. Loud. Then discussing it with her father. Out. Loud]. I'm still exhausted. I think next time I go to CaliForN.I.A. I'll stay much longer. It's only fair to my body & all.

Apparently some people are boycotting blogs today. Pshaw. Double Crusted Flip Offs to you. Unless you visit me here. Then you get a big fat hug AND an ass smack :x

Oh, Also, Eff Off inside out assholes. That's all.

Link Up, YO!


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Shining Stones

She's One Crafty Mother.
I read this blog once in a while. Every post actually, even though I don't always comment. OK, fine, I rarely comment, mostly because I'm shy there. Yes. Me.

Anyway, Ellie writes a beautifully honest blog. She writes about her sobriety, her family and how they mesh. I loved reading her post this summer, when she was blissfully off the grid.

So get this - not only does she write beautifully, she also creates gorgeous jewelry. Check the etsy shop here: Shining Stones.

The black raspberry set is Right up my alley for the fall....

And I'd LOVE to get this for my girl fighting cancer - I'd have it say "B+" (be positive).

And major major love for this Hope necklace...

See anything you like? Guess WHAT?!

Ellie is offering one of YOU a gift certificate to her shop. For $35. That could buy the lil black raspberry set, you know. But the good thing is? You can choose whatever you want.

A larger sample of her items:


Just for you MommaKiss readers, she's offering a discount on a purchase. You know, if you're not the winner winner chicken dinner. To take advantage of the 15% discount, go to Ellie's shop at and select your item(s) (you'll need an Etsy account, and if you don't have one it's free and easy to set up - you only need a valid email address). In the message to seller put the following promotional code: GIVEAWAY15, and check "Other" for method of payment. You'll get a message that says to "contact buyer to arrange payment", but Ellie will contact you directly to arrange direct billing of the discounted amout via paypal, check or money order.

How freakin cool is that??!!

No major rules, other than you MUST have an e-mail so that I can let you know if you won or not. Jeesh, how many times can I preach that? Enter as many times as you wish.

Giveaway closes in a week, on Thursday, October 14th - 5pm EST. I'll draw a winner with

Go forth, browse, shop and WIN!!!!!!

(thanks Ellie for letting me share your goodies with the internetz).

OMG, you people KILLIN me with the comment conversations. 5ish pm 10/14 - closed comments. Gimme some time to be a Momma and I'll pick a wiener.

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - recap in pictures


For words on the trip, see here: Bag Lady's Recap

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

a MommaKiss memory-If Only

Since I'm still on the beach drinking wine with my dear friends, I give you another MommaKiss memory...

Today, I woke up at the leisurely hour of 8.30.

I removed my sleep mask, used the remote to turn off the fan and turned on the Today Show – must check the weather to see if it’ll be warm enough to sit by the pool.

Without having to ask, my snickerdoodle coffee with fat free coffee mate suddenly appears. Along with a fried egg white, flax and oat bread and a bowl of strawberries. There’s also a decanter of coffee on the tray so that I can refill if I desire.

I enjoy my breakfast and catch up on last night’s shows – Weeds and Nurse Jackie. It’s so relaxing to watch other people’s fucked up lives.

I draw a bubble bath and read – mimosa on the side table.

Al told me it would indeed be 85 and clear today, so at about 11, I realized it was time to head on outside.

I slip out of my fluffy robe and into my bikini, because of course I’m slim, with non-saggy boobs. Must apply sunscreen – don’t want to look *gasp* old and wrinkly.

Lunch was poolside – grilled chicken and vegetables, with sparkling water and a glass of prosecco, of course.

I finish reading my second book of the week and take a nap.

It’s now 4pm and I must decide how and with whom to spend my evening!

What a glorious life!

HeyZooChristo, if only – instead?

Me and my saggy-fun-bags were dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5.30am by a small but persistent and chipper child asking for Juice. About a million times. I made my own damn coffee, got the kids dressed and ready for daycare and ate a stale pop-tart on the way to WORK. Also? I answered every fucking question imaginable from every angle imaginable at work today. I think I remember seeing my husband at some point this morning – may have even kissed him goodbye – but was too exhausted to remember.

Ain’t life grand?

originally posted 08/2009

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Friday, October 1, 2010

Friday Flips 10-1

GIGIis going hog wild with her teaching the back to school, back to blogging event. You get me again for the Friday Flip Offs.

Let's Do It!

My flip offs this week...well, to be honest? Pretty minimal. I'm still pretty fucking pissed off at cancer. I plan to hate it for life. But my girl - she got some good news that the cancer hasn't spread. About fucking time. And me? I'm currently in Cali enjoying a kid free vacation. So I'm pretty much flipping off schedules and work. Ah Yeah Baby!

What do you want to flip off this week? Link up and share the love with your other flippers.