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Would I Lie to You Honey?

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Momma Kiss: Would I Lie to You Honey?

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Would I Lie to You Honey?

A lovely writer Poppy tagged me in this. Her equally lovely friend Lori tagged her – so I’m calling you both out for making me-AHEM- I mean, *providing a topic* for me to share my words with you. If those links are wonky, well, feck off, I’m doing my best with firewalls and posting from crazy places and well, yah. Feck off.


I guess this is the only rule: You write six pieces of info about you. Five of them are lies. One of them is true.

1- I was the homecoming queen my senior year of high school.

2 - I was engaged to someone else before meeting my current husband. I called it off because he cheated on me with a hooker.

3 - When I was 8, my little brother and I were walking home from school. We were latch key kids. Someone called my brother a sissy, and so I punched him. This kid’s nose began to bleed and he started to chase me and I tripped and slid down the hilly road. On my forehead. He retreated the other way because my head was ripped open and bleeding. My brother and I proceeded home, unlocked our door, he helped me clean my head wound and we pinky-swore not to tell Mom what really happened. I mean, she was gonna be pissed enough at the bloody washcloth.

4 - In college, I was the RA in the dorm, went to all the pep rallies for football and marched on the quad for any cause imaginable.

5 - I was in a traveling marching band as a kid. It was a family affair… My mom played bass drum, my brother carried water bottles and I was a flag girl. My first ever crush was on the tuba player.

6 - I listen to Christmas music starting in October.

Now. Let’s see if I bamboozled any of you with my lies. Can you tell which one is true?

Answer will arrive shortly. I don’t have it in me to tag anyone. I mean, some of you I’d LOVE to “tag” but, you know, just not for this :p .

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Blogger Tiffany said...

i kind of hope the hooker thing is true. just because it's a fun story. not that i hope people cheated on you or anything. just, hookers, they're always funny.

unless your fiance cheats on you with them.

i'm going to stop now.

10/18/10, 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was far tamer than I had imagined it would be. The organic enchilada, and her mutilated lady parts that were pressed against a car window, will be disappointed.

I hope #6 is a lie. But somehow, I feel like it's the truth

10/18/10, 1:56 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

#3 has a lot of detail which makes me suspicious but I think #5 is true.

Because that would be awesome and explain a lot.

10/18/10, 2:06 PM  
Blogger Cate said...

Now I just have to figure out if you're anything like me. Because if you are #6 is the true one. Or #3 (except mine was not crossing at the corner on the way home from school and getting hit by a car while my brother made it across the street without the benefit of a 1967 mint green sedan).
Okay - so I'm going with #6.

10/18/10, 2:09 PM  
Blogger Gigi said...

#3 has to be true, because I could see you kicking some serious ass.

10/18/10, 2:23 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Way to work the *wonky*!!

I say 3 is true!

10/18/10, 2:39 PM  
Blogger Sheena Simpson said...

Just cause it would be freakin sweet I am saying the family marching band.

10/18/10, 2:44 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I'm going to go with 2, though I'd believe it more if it wasn't a hooker.

Unless you were queen. Because you are royalty-material.

10/18/10, 3:08 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

Please tell me number 6 is NOT true! I'm going with number 3.

10/18/10, 3:31 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

I think you cheated on your fiance with a gigilo. You were definitely homecoming queen.

10/18/10, 4:05 PM  
Blogger Mommy NaniBooboo said...

In my dreams, it is number 5... because anyone that falls for a tuba player is huge nerd, and I love nerds.

10/18/10, 4:29 PM  
Blogger sherri said...

I'm guessing number three or one. Can't wait to see your swap package contents!

10/18/10, 4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kind of hope all of these are true! My guess: #4. No, wait: #6. No... Are you ever going to tell us?

10/18/10, 7:01 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Sorry but I just don't believe #4.

10/18/10, 8:44 PM  
Blogger Daffy said...

Number 5 is true....because I said so *cheeser smile*

10/18/10, 8:56 PM  
Blogger Truthful Mommy said...

I;m going with #3 as true!

10/18/10, 9:20 PM  
Blogger Truthful Mommy said...

OK, then it must be #6!It has to be..oh, no..just me! Has to be!LOL

10/18/10, 10:27 PM  
Blogger Bethany @ Organic Enchilada said...

No, no, no. My lady parts were not yet mutilated. They were pure and perfect, even though squashed against a window. Sheesh, Pop.

Ok, I say Homecoming Queen. And if it really is the true one, I'm going to make fun of you.

10/18/10, 11:09 PM  
Blogger DIAPERS in the DESERT said...

I like what Tiffany said about #2 I Love Hooker stories...... I like #6 but I am going to go with #4.

10/19/10, 12:39 AM  
Anonymous kiki said...

ha ha I know you and I know the answer!

10/19/10, 1:57 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

I absolutely love all that 5 of those are true - you're clearly a fantastic person to know.

10/19/10, 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Well, yes, but only 5 of them are true.


(Is this a trick question and secretly all 6 of them are true?)

10/19/10, 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Okay, it's official, I'm the stupidest person to read your blog!

10/19/10, 1:44 PM  
Anonymous Jennie @ Modern Mamaz said...

I've gotta go with #3. It had me at "so I punched him."

10/19/10, 2:02 PM  
Blogger John said...

I feel like there's so much detail in #3 that it's there as a red herring, but at the same time, I can't picture MK ever deciding to not punch someone who deserved it.

#1 seems plausible - I mean, high school aged people had to realize that they had awesome on their hands, even if you don't exactly seem to "act the part" of a homecoming queen.

#2 also seems plausible, but I've never known somebody the age you had to have been when this would have happened who would have spent beer money on a hooker.

#3 is where my money is.

#4 just seems too perky.

#5 seems too out there to be true, though it would totally be awesome if it were.

#6 scares me too much to consider it within the realm of possibility.

10/19/10, 2:24 PM  
Anonymous Mo's a Hoe said...

As someone who has slept with Mommakiss snuggled in her bosom I can for sure say that I know the truth.

Of course that wouldn't be fun for the rest of y'all. Keep guessing.

10/19/10, 2:26 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

I really want to say that the hooker thing is a lie. It better be a lie. Say it's a lie, please!

10/19/10, 3:24 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

I know this one, I'm jumping up and down. hee hee!

"Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum" Unless we're talking about some sort of weird sex ritual. Darn, should have typed "cum."

10/19/10, 5:29 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....these are TOUGH.

I'm gonna go with #1 as the true one, because you're fabulous.

10/19/10, 5:42 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

If there is any truth to number 6, I will punch you.
I pick the hooker. I hope she doesn't have STDs.

10/19/10, 6:48 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Anyone that knows you, knows #4 is A BIG FAT LIE!

10/19/10, 8:07 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Ugh, I'm coming around a bit late, but I'm thinking that any dude who was good enough to be with you had NO business with any hookers!

And I could SO picture you as Homecoming Queen. ARE good at this..

10/19/10, 11:31 PM  
Blogger tulpen said...

ok. I didn't read the answers yet I swear.

You weren't homecoming queen or and RA. You may have been the hooker though...

You punched that kid right?

10/20/10, 12:04 AM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

I can't concentrate because when I picture you lying, it's of a completely different nature.

10/20/10, 4:30 AM  

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