If Only...

Today, I woke up at the leisurely hour of 8.30.

I removed my sleep mask, used the remote to turn off the fan and turned on the Today Show – must check the weather to see if it’ll be warm enough to sit by the pool.

Without having to ask, my snickerdoodle coffee with fat free coffee mate suddenly appears. Along with a fried egg white, flax and oat bread and a bowl of strawberries. There’s also a decanter of coffee on the tray so that I can refill if I desire.

I enjoy my breakfast and catch up on last night’s shows – Weeds and Nurse Jackie. It’s so relaxing to watch other people’s fucked up lives.

I draw a bubble bath and read – mimosa on the side table.

Al told me it would indeed be 85 and clear today, so at about 11, I realized it was time to head on outside.

I slip out of my fluffy robe and into my bikini, because of course I’m slim, with non-saggy boobs. Must apply sunscreen – don’t want to look *gasp* old and wrinkly.

Lunch was poolside – grilled chicken and vegetables, with sparkling water and a glass of prosecco, of course.

I finish reading my second book of the week and take a nap.

It’s now 4pm and I must decide how and with whom to spend my evening!

What a glorious life!

HeyZooChristo, if only – instead?

Me and my saggy-fun-bags were dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5.30am by a small but persistent and chipper child asking for Juice. About a million times. I made my own damn coffee, got the kids dressed and ready for daycare and ate a stale pop-tart on the way to WORK. Also? I answered every fucking question imaginable from every angle imaginable at work today. I think I remember seeing my husband at some point this morning – may have even kissed him goodbye – but was too exhausted to remember.

Ain’t life grand?