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Momma Kiss: Happy Birthday Bro's

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Birthday Bro's

Today I'm re-posting something that I wrote 2 years ago. 2 years ago to the day. Today is weird for me. It's Father's Day. And I am glad that my children have a kick ass father. And Mr. Kiss has a kick ass father. And we celebrated them. But I don't really remember my father. My 3 older brothers were more "father figures" than anything. I miss my brothers. And so I'm sharing this from 2 years ago - the new words just wouldn't come today...


42 years ago, my brother K was born. He was the 3rd of my mother's eventual 6 children.

On his 9th birthday, while he tried to enjoy a day at the lake, he instead got the gift of a little brother. Yep, my bro P, the 6th kid, ruined K's birthday. Or made it the best b-day ever, I'm not sure, I was little.

I'm the 5th of 6 kids. P and I were thick as thieves when we were little. Our 4 older siblings were each two years apart, wait six years, I'm pretty sure I was 'whoops' then Momma had P to keep me company. We were the 'little' kids. The babies. Our siblings took care of us, teased us, threw us around, taught us, parented us.

When I was a senior in high school, Momma had an amazing opportunity for a new job. It was midway through the school year - my senior year - and there was NO way I wanted to move. So, in a decision I know must have been so hard for her - she let me and P stay - alone - in our house and moved 3 hours away because this job just wouldn't wait.

I worked part time, drove P around to his sports and such. I had my first experience with being a 'mom' even tho I'm not sure I was very happy about it. But it was the best choice for us. It was a family decision. And P and I made it through.

The next year he was Junior in HS and moved to live w/ Mom, while I moved to Montana to live w/ my sister. I worked 3 jobs, enjoyed being free, and 'sewed some oats' before deciding I didn't want to work like that for the rest of my life so I moved back close to home and started college.

One Monday morning, a cold cold January morning, P went for a ride with his girlfriend. Turns out, it was the last ride of his life. He was 17. He was a senior in high school. He was too young.

I was in college, on winter break, actually, staying w/ a friend. Mom had to track me down. Actually the sheriff tracked me down because my mother was understandably not well.

The past 16 years have been - well - they've been.

Sadly, life moves on. I got married, without my little brother present. My husband didn't get to meet P - my best friend on earth. I had kids, without my little brother present. My kids don't know their Uncle P - in person. My first son is named for my brother, yet he'll never know, really know, what kind of guy he was. He'll hear more and more stories, but because of some icy roads and a mini-van driver not paying attention, he only has pictures of his Uncle.

Thankfully, I'm not sad today. Today I remember my brother and remember his birthdays growing up. I also think of my older brother, and wonder if his birthdays have ever been the same. He had to share from the time he was 9. And since 1994, is he reminded that his kid brother should be celebrating w/ him? I don't know.

I called my mom today. I plan to call K later. And I will sing Happy Birthday to my brothers, both of them.

Love you P! Hope God gives you lots of free time today!


Today P would be 35. K is 44. Happy Birthday Brothers. One on earth and one with God. I love you both.

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ohh so beautifully heart aches for you . I have the same feelings about my mum as my daughter getting married this year, and another of her gdauters having a baby.But as you say,life goes on.We are the keepers of the stories about them.

6/19/11, 7:23 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

This post was so sweet and sad. I am sorry that you went through something so sad. It was a beautiful piece.

6/19/11, 8:39 PM  
Anonymous Mom Went Crazy said...

Such a beautiful piece. *tear

6/19/11, 10:02 PM  
Blogger Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

My heart aches for you. My hubs lost his only brother when he was 18. No one in the family will ever be the same. Sucks. And yes, that is indeed life. You have to move on regardless. Heaven is a better place with all those sweet boys running around keeping thing fun and fresh!


6/19/11, 10:16 PM  
Blogger Kim @ Mamas Monologues said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. This was a beautiful piece, but I'm so very sorry you went through something like this.

6/19/11, 11:02 PM  
Anonymous Hollie said...

This is just heart breaking! It was so beautifully written but so incredibly sad that you had to experience that. I'm sure you are thankful for the 17 years you had with P. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful piece of your life with us!

6/19/11, 11:12 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

It's heartbreaking to lose someone too early. We know all about this in my house as my husband's father passed away when my husband was 6. There is a hole that can never be filled.

6/19/11, 11:36 PM  
Blogger NotSoNormalMommy said...

My heart breaks for you today! My SO lost his sister, his only sibling, at the age of 8 and still struggles with it 13 years later. Sorry today was so difficult for you!

6/19/11, 11:41 PM  
Blogger Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Thank you for sharing this story. You wrote it beautifully.

6/20/11, 12:57 AM  
Blogger Duffy Batzer said...

The very first thing that defined me as a person was being a big sister. No one understands you like your siblings. I can't imagine losing that. You're a strong Momma.

6/20/11, 8:14 AM  
Anonymous Kimberly said... heart breaks. I know he's there watching over you. Such a special bond that was cut way too short. I'm so sorry. Sending you motor boats and wine.

6/20/11, 9:29 AM  
Blogger Joshua said...

I know a similar story, Momma. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Happy Birthday, Bros.

6/20/11, 10:15 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

This brought tears to my eyes!

Happy birthday to both your brothers. :)

6/20/11, 11:00 AM  
Anonymous Missy | The Literal Mom said...

I just have chills reading this. It's so powerful. It may not have made you cry, but it certainly did me! I am sure P's spirit lives on through you, so your children will get to know him as much as is possible.

6/20/11, 11:04 AM  
Blogger MamaMash said...

I'm so sorry you had to endure the last 16 years without him.

6/20/11, 12:59 PM  
Blogger John said...

I cried the first time I read this, and I'm tearing up again now.

6/20/11, 1:14 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

My sister was my first best friend.

I can't imagine losing her.

Especially so young.

I'm smiling through tears at the years you two had and the years you had taken away.

Happy birthday to your brothers and hugs to your boys.

The brother-love lives on in them.

6/20/11, 1:17 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Oh, girl. I'm so sorry for your loss. Love you. xo

6/20/11, 1:27 PM  
Blogger Mommy Nani Booboo said...

Much love. Much love.
Beautiful post.
Happy birthday to both brothers.

6/20/11, 2:12 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Goose Poop said...

No words...just hugs!

6/20/11, 3:36 PM  
Blogger Not Just Another Jennifer said...

Oh that just breaks my heart. I don't know what I would do without my sister. Hugs!

6/20/11, 3:52 PM  
Blogger Leigh Ann @ Genie in a Blog said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful person. This is both heartbreaking and sweet.

6/20/11, 5:33 PM  
Anonymous Jackie said...

Momma, I love you.

6/20/11, 6:11 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Oh this is so hard to read. My heart breaks for you and your family. Holidays always end up bittersweet somehow when you've had such a loss but to have birthdays at the same time as a holiday has to make it that much harder. Hugs to you.

6/20/11, 8:01 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Tuna said...

A great post, family ties past and present bring great feelings of oneness.

6/20/11, 8:43 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

You are the most down to earth person I've never met. I can't wait to change that.

6/21/11, 1:27 AM  
Anonymous Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him said...

Oh, MK, such good words. I love the stories you tell about your early life, particularly about P.

6/21/11, 7:54 AM  
Blogger Ms.Wasteland said...

I didn't make it around here to comment the day you posted but still wanted to offer you up some virtual hugs. This was such a sweet and sad post.

6/21/11, 7:01 PM  
Blogger Boobies said...

So beautifully written...May P's soul be happy and I'm sure he's watching over his Sis. Love you!

6/22/11, 12:45 PM  
Blogger CDG said...

Happy birthday to both of your brothers. You're all lucky to have one another, here or hereafter.

Bless you, MommaK.

6/24/11, 10:47 AM  
Anonymous Kim said...

You just made me love my little brother a little more. Thank you.

6/28/11, 6:45 AM  
Anonymous My Pajama Days said...

I am so sorry that I didn't see this sooner and send you all kinds of blogging hugs and kisses. This was wonderfully written and filled me with so much emotion. Often I take my two brothers for granted, especially now that we live such separate lives. I will call them tomorrow.

6/29/11, 11:17 PM  

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