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Momma Kiss: I'm outta here.

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, June 3, 2011

I'm outta here.

Friday, I’m in Love. That’s right, no angst or flip offs.

Half day of work for me today. “Work.” Then I get to go wrangle 159 balloons into my car, pick up a cake, put together tablecloths and napkins and other goodies for my kid’s birthday party. The weather is FAB for this event, this – his first ever “real” party with friends. Not too hot, not too cold, no rain. Mini-golf tourney is gonna rock. And then pizza, cake and homemade sundaes after? Dood, Big Kiss knows how to party.

I’ll be refraining from cake, though. Yep. So here’s the deal. I’m on a medically monitored diet. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired every 3 weeks or so. I’m not sleeping well (unless I drug myself), stressed out, have the belly fat that comes with not sleeping and stress. I needed help and finally got some. It’s not some “buy our food” or “drink this shake” program, or even counting calories…it’s a simple You must eat breakfast, x amount of protein at every meal and tons of veggies. The first couple of weeks, I’ve avoided whites (sugar, rice, potatoes, etc.) & fried foods. I’ve been really good and it’s actually giving me life style changes. Not just a quick fix.

They also recommend this powder in a jug of water once a day: Macro Greens.

It’s the equivalent of like 5 servings of raw veggies or something. I swear to god it’s even tasty. But holy shit.

No, I mean it. I’ve had to have a conversation with my colon begging it not to blow before I get to the bathroom.

They also provide a B-12 shot, I honestly have no fucking clue what it does, but I yanked up my pants and they shot me in the ass. I felt like an athlete getting steroids. Isn’t that what they thought they were getting? B-12? But it was really human growth hormone? Whatever, doc says get the shot, I took the shot.

I am sleeping better and have lost a few pounds off the gubba, so I’m happy I’m sticking to it.

Which brings me to my next dilemma. Vacation. Hell Yes, I’m taking a chic vaca, leaving tomorrow. My girl A and I are going to Savannah. We went there like 9 years ago and totally loved it. That trip, we drank from sun up to sun down. Visited the gay bars. Went to a drag show. Full on entertainment. This trip, we plan to lounge by the pool. A lot. We may surface around town to say we “did something” but after the winter we both had – lounging is much needed.

We're also going to walk, which we're actually excited about (?!) My blisters are healed, I need to do a few miles a day when I'm gone.

ANYFUCK, the thing is? I’m gonna have to try to stick to my diet while there. I don’t want to be a total downer, so I guess I’ll try to make good choices with 2 meals a day and let myself enjoy the 3rd. Probably lunch since that’s my biggest meal on a typical day.

Whatever. If I don’t lose, I’ll be OK with it. I’m going to try to be good but if not, I'll survive & reset when I get home.

Peace out, kids. Don’t be all brilliant when I’m gone. I’m just going to hit “clear all” when I get back anyway ;)

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Blogger blueviolet said...

Sorry you've been running a little loosey goosey lately. I'm not sure I believe you that that stuff tastes good though. How is that possible?

Your Savannah retreat looks a-mazing. I hope you enjoy every second of that getaway!

6/3/11, 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Sarahviz said...

Have a blast! And I'm curious about the healthy eating, as this is a foreign concept to me...

6/3/11, 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so jealous of that picture of your pool. ;^)

6/3/11, 11:02 AM  
Blogger Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Have a great birthday party and fantastic trip!

I'm now motivated by your new diet, to try my own. Thank you!

6/3/11, 11:32 AM  
Blogger Joann Mannix said...

I'm a pretty good eater, except for the occasional piece of cake or five...

I'm definitely big into hypochondria, too. It's one of my favorite hobbies. But I swear, when I binge on bad foods, I just feel like shite, almost instantly. I know it's probably the hypo talking, but really I feel like my body turns into a slug, the minute the Twinkie hits my lips.

So kudos to you and your healthy diet/lifestyle. I'm very intrigued by the Macro Greens.

Also, too? I'm a B-12 shot girl. I don't think it helps with weight loss in my case, but it's definitely an energy booster.

6/3/11, 12:31 PM  
Blogger Mad Woman behind the Blog said...

Look at you girl! I'm so glad to read you're taking control of your well being, as I've known you to do.
Completely jealous of the Savannah trip. I know you will have a fabu time...just wish I was doing it with you.

Will miss you tons!

6/3/11, 1:16 PM  
Blogger John said...

Good plan for the trip - it's important to allow yourself some wiggle room . . . two out of three meals a day, a glass or wine every now & then . . . as long as your lifestyle when you're back to your normal life is back on track, a vacation will come in handy.

And from the sounds of things lately? You're well-deserved of this vacation. Enjoy.

Oh, we're having the first birthday for the little miss tomorrow - so I'll be doing the whole "too many balloon" thing, too. Burgers, dogs, cake, maybe even sneak a little wine into the pavilion . . . she's only one, but she knows how to party.

6/3/11, 1:23 PM  
Blogger K Pugliano said...

Mamma, you are all kinds of awesome!

Macro greens? And they taste good??

Have a fab time on your trip-like I even need to say that! Ha!

Enjoy the scenery... ;)


6/3/11, 1:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope the birthday party is GREAT and that you have an amazingly relaxing trip with A. I've always wanted to visit Savannah, it's on the list.
Have fun!!
- SaucyB
(having a prob with blogger - again!)

6/3/11, 1:29 PM  
Anonymous Tayarra said...

Your diet sounds like something I need! I need to get back to eating breakfast! Have an awesome get away!

6/3/11, 1:31 PM  
Anonymous The Flying Chalupa said...

clear all- I love it!

Have a great time on vacation - you're gonna look fab by the pool. I'm so jealous. Winter won't leave the west coast. Something about the jet stream 'n shit.

Also blogger's being a fucker and so I'm posting the url - sorry

6/3/11, 1:40 PM  
Blogger Mommy Nani Booboo said...

Happy Birthday to the little guy!!
Also- Macro Greens rock!!! Seriously. So good for you. Your body will regulate in a couple weeks and less stuff will want come out of your ass at all hours of the day.
Have the best time on your vacy. If you make good food choices... you won't feel so bad about all the alcohol you're drinking. :)

6/3/11, 1:57 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

A weekend away sounds great. We have my son's birthday party on Sunday, hope you guys have fun!!

6/3/11, 2:12 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Have a great time on your vacation! I wouldn't worry about the diet, just have fun and enjoy your time with your friend.

6/3/11, 2:28 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

good for you, love! i fell back into white flour, etc. and now i'm reading 'crazy sexy diet' to help kick my but back in gear. what vegetables are you eating specifically? i eat salad (spinach, romaine, etc) but i struggle picking other fresh ones to eat.

have an awesome vaca. i'll wave to you as you fly over charlotte!

6/3/11, 2:50 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Have a kick ass time with A!

6/3/11, 3:22 PM  
Blogger Mommy Lisa said...

Oh Amen for "Mark All As Read" in reader from time to time. Have fun.

6/3/11, 4:00 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I've always wanted to go to Savannah...

I'm dieting too! I'm gonna have to check out your "holy shit" product ;)

6/3/11, 5:33 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

9 years ago you probably drank until you puked which equals weight loss. Get back on that horse!

6/3/11, 6:45 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

Anyfuck you need to enjoy your time...I think drinks don't count anyways plus the sun should melt off at least 10 pounds fo sho

6/3/11, 6:54 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

I'll cross my fingers for you. Vacation eating is my downfall.

6/3/11, 8:54 PM  
Anonymous tracy@sellabitmum said...

Have fun. Relax. Don't miss us too much.

6/3/11, 10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Havee fuuuuuuuuunnnnnn!!! Ugh. Greens! I'll have to try it because everything 'green' that I've ever tried tastes green....

6/3/11, 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That pool looks amazing. Yes, I am extremely jealous!

6/4/11, 3:06 AM  
Anonymous Random Blogette said...

So jealous! I need a chic vacation! And just don't let your diet conusme your vaca. I had an aunt do that once when we were on a family vaca and I wanted to bitch slap her every time she mentioned calories! Just enjoy girl!

6/4/11, 9:49 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Go get you some fun, girl.

That pool looks like its own universe of goodness.

Soak it up. You deserve it.

6/4/11, 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Enjoy your vacation!

6/5/11, 12:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've heard great things about B12....but not a fan of tell me if it ends up being worth while! ;)

6/5/11, 8:42 AM  
Blogger Hello! I'm Kate. said...

I used to take B12 vitamins all the time!

Have fun in Georgia!!! I want to go to Savannah so badly!

6/5/11, 10:41 AM  
Blogger Hello! I'm Kate. said...

And enjoy that awesome southern heat! :)

6/5/11, 10:41 AM  
Blogger Booyah's Momma said...

Drinking from from sun up to sun down? Ah, you've got the right idea. Hope you have/had a fabulous vacation. You deserve it, lady.

6/6/11, 1:37 AM  
Anonymous Ameena said...

Blogger sucks. Just had to get that out there. My comments disappear constantly and I hate that.

Anyway, I hope that your new way of eating solves your problem. Belly fat sucks too. Doing a detox totally helped me with that a few years ago and I never had a problem again. Now if only some miracle would come along and give me a pain-free tummy tuck?

Have a fabulous time in Savannah. I can't wait to go there one day!!

6/6/11, 4:52 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Hope the party was fabulous! And I hope you have an amazing time on your vacation!

6/6/11, 10:09 PM  
Blogger Suniverse said...

Glad you're feeling better. Hope you enjoy your trip. And your lounging.

6/7/11, 11:45 AM  
Blogger Kelley said...

So glad you are about to go kick it with your girl! Have fun! I hope you didn't forget your Macro Greens.

6/7/11, 4:21 PM  
Anonymous Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him said...

I also gave you a shot of B12 in the ass. You just don't remember, but that's why you felt so energized the next day.

6/7/11, 10:20 PM  
Blogger Elena said...

Wow - that's a great break after a party. I hope you both are having a great time! I'm pretty sure my new favorite word is "anyfuck" ;)

6/8/11, 4:39 PM  
Anonymous tulpen said...

I hope your colon behaves itself and you don't shit in the pool.

Actually. I do hope you shit in the pool, because that would make for a fucking hilarious story.

6/8/11, 8:11 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

Enjoy your time with your girl.

And, you'll be fine: think of it this way, don't focus on losing:just focus on maintaining.

IT's about health, anyway. And relaxation--not stress--is what you need.

Have fun, mama.

6/9/11, 8:24 AM  

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