Who left me in charge w/out a chaperone?

I was bored out of my skull today. Seriously.

But I’m happy now! *big ol happy face*

The Mr. Man is working late, he’s been wicked busy. And he seems to be feeling OK – just super sore. I need to take a picture of his under-bicep bruise, it’s that amazing (and totally blog worthy).

So my evening went as follows.

Picked up the Lil Kisser at school, he cried all the way home. Do they not feed the kid? They do – I know it, but he’s having a growth spurt or something, I swear to God. Got home – gave the kid a bottle and then he helped me with some laundry. Or so I thought. Literally I turned around and he wasn’t there. I heard his lil voice, ran all around looking for him – and where is he?! On the stairs of doom! Yes – the same stairs Mr. Kiss f ell down last night!

See exhibit:


Lil Kiss was sitting – properly – on the first step you see. From the Top. Cheesenrice. See the bottom left corner? That’s where the Mr. was laying in a heap last night. See how the whole front is open, and there’s that toy bin underneath? And the farking ‘horseheadcoatrack?’ Both incidents could have caused major damage.

So I pick up the little monster and tell him how scary that was and that he is not to climb the stairs again. Because a 10 month old can understand that. Anyway – he better listen, his lil life flashed before my eyes!

Get him to bed and it’s trash time. I’m a good lil wife and put the trash & recycling out for the Mr. b/c he’s all sore & stuff. I’m taking up one of the bins and my dog’s running around w/ me – all of a sudden a rabbit runs out (brave little fucker) and there goes the dog – like a speeding bullet! ACROSS THE G.DAMN STREET! I’m yelling after him, and then I see a car coming. Cripes. He runs back to me, like thisclose in front of the car and is fine, but shit, I saw HIS life flash before my eyes.

Is it the Kiss Mission to give Momma a heart attack at every turn this week?!

I finish the gar-geb and was sweating bullets so I decided it to jump in the pool – half nekked. Just a top – why mess up a whole suit, really. I did have a towel around me before getting in and wouldn’t you know it, Nosy Nancy Neighbor was peeking over the fence (no joke) to shoot the shit. Loverly. Had to wait for her to go back home so I could finally cool myself off.

I’ll fully admit, I love having a pool. It’s a lot of work, I do NONE of it, and I absosmurfly love the convenience of swimming, cooling off, skinny dipping, vacationing right in my back yard. Bliss. Perfect end to a long boring and crazy day.

I’m currently having some Mommy Juice for dinner and watching DVR.

Talk about la-zy. Whatev.

I’m the Queen of Everything. Or the Princess of Quite a Lot. I can’t decide. I guess it just depends on the size of the tiara….