Evenin...

Where to begin...

I banged in sick the past 2 days from work. Farmed the kiddies out to daycare and got some shit done! I did about 10 loads of laundry, made lines in my carpet w/ the vacuum, mopped all hardwoods, put away my winter crap in the attic, got some summer stuff down, put away some baby toys, lowered Lil K's crib so he wouldn't jump out, took Otto to the park to swim his guts out, spent $175 at Targhay and even got a massage *funny story about that but no time for it tonite*. I was actually a lil sick, too - a lot, really - but drugged myself silly and feel pretty good now (drug-free).

Lil Kiss still isn't sleeping well, but found out why tonight. I picked him up from school and he was a hotbox. So off to the doc we go - still has his ear infection. He's on a 3rd type of antibiotics - and piggybacking motrin / tylenol. Perfecto timing, as we're set to fly out to see my whole god damn family tomorrow. Doc said he's OK to fly - but will prolly be miserable on the up & down and his ear drum may burst. Thanks for that tidbit.

So yeah - we'll be "that" family - sorry in advance to anyone on our plane.

Speaking of the flight - we're going to see my lil baby nephew graduate from High school. And he reports for basic training in the Air Force in July. That scares the living daylights out of me - but he's dead set and I support him. And I'm going to see my mum for the first time since September when the little dude was born. And 2 of my older bros, it's been almost a year. I'm so frackalackin happy to see everyone I could shit.

Our flight is early, and we're 45 min out from the airport, so the Kiss Hizza will be ablaze around 5.15 am. Meh - another day in the life for us. I'm praying to God above that my boyz stay healthy and we have a safe trip to see MY MOMMY!!!

For the record, I've had to stop typing 3 times - twice to tend to the hacking kid up stairs and once to clean up my dog's barf. All the while? Mr. Kiss is in bed sawing logs. Loudly. F'r.

2am lessons...

Things I learned at 2am this morning:

Little Kiss now knows how to sit up on his own! Yay, And he felt the need to let me know with a nice loud whooping cough.

I 100% hate humidity.

I am 100% confused by New England weather - humid to dry & cool in an hour.

In a "nutshell"

I did “start” the weekend a little early by leaving work at 2 on Friday.

I did take an hour long lunch on Friday.

I did not feel guilty about taking a full lunch and leaving early on Friday.

I did have a beer at 3.30 pm on Friday.

I did finish that beer in the yard while my kids frolicked.

I did not eat “Friday Night Pizza” with the family (but I did sit with them).

I did eat cheese and crackers with Mr. Kiss while I finished another beer.

I did go for a walk with Lil Kiss at 6am on Saturday morning.

I did thank the Lord that our babysitter was on time on Saturday morning.

I did not read my magazines on the way to the Lacrosse game with Mr. Kiss.

I did, instead, talk to my husband on the way to the Lacrosse game!

I did get “mimosa drunk” by, oh, 11am on Saturday morning.

I did speak, a lil drunkenly, to 5 teenage boys on the way into the stadium.

I did not have a clue what we spoke about.

I did almost fall flat on my face on my way to the port-o-john outside the stadium.

I did remember to use my hand sanitizer after hovering above 91328479287 other peoples bodily secretions.

I did not remember my sunscreen on Saturday.

I did wear a hat.

I did get too much sun on my knees and on the lower half of my face.

I did yell and scream way too much during the game, particularly when our team won, in double OT.

I did get to show the Lacrosse world my yelling and screaming as the Mr. and I were “the crazy fans” highlighted on t.v. quite a bit.

I did not like seeing myself in HD when we watched the game at home.

I did go to bed at 9pm on Saturday night.

I did visit with Lil Kiss at 1am and 4am and was up for the day at 6am on Sunday.

I did count the minutes until the In-laws arrived on Sunday (reinforcements).

I did not enjoy baking Big Kiss’ birthday cake while he cried it out for nap time.

I did end up making a KICK ASS birthday cake for the monster in spite of his nastyness.

I did not tell my husband, father in law or almost 3 year old that the cake was low sugar and had pumpkin and yogurt in it.

I did thoroughly enjoy hearing it was the moistest cake they’d ever eaten. (is moistest a flippin word?)

I did read my magazines while my mother in law put my children to bed last night.

I did go to bed soon thereafter (at 8.15) last night.

I did not enjoy going to bed in our guest room (queen bed), but it’s the best option when the ‘rents are here.

I did hear Big Kiss awake at 3am.

I did hear Lil Kiss awake at 3.01 am.

I did not let Big Kiss sleep with me at 3.02 am.

I did send him to snuggle in with Gramma.

I did take Lil Kiss to bed with me at 3.03 am.

I did not enjoy that he took up half of this queen bed while the Mr. and I fought over the other half.

I did dream that my face was being eaten by spiders.

I did laugh when I realized it was Lil Kiss playing with my nose and eyes and mouth.

I did not laugh when I looked at the clock and saw 5:07am blaring back at me.

I did take my boyz to Kohl’s with me today – happy for G’Ma’s help.

I did buy 2 new bras today.

I did NOT like the size of these bras.

I did not enjoy chasing Big Kiss around Kohl’s with one of these bras on his head.

I did not argue when my mother in law offered to pay for everything in the cart.

I did, during lunch, tell my mother in law that my husband, her son, had a vasectomy.

I did not for one second think that was a good idea – but I have no filter.

I did let G’Ma put my kids down for a nap.

I did not feel one ounce of guilt as I sat outside by the pool, read my book and soaked up the rays.

I did try to “even out” the sun on my face.

I did not succeed and now have raccoon eyes.

I did have the greatest weekend with my family.

I did love running around my yard with my son and his neighbor bud – kicking the big bouncy ball and tossing the football and cradling the lacrosse sticks.

I did not worry about my ass or gunt jiggling as I ran about.

I did love sitting in the grass as Lil Kiss touched it very delicately between his chubby little fingers.

I did not dwell on the fact that I am coming down with a wretched cold and am hacking up a lung.

I did give my boyz extra hugs and kisses as their Daddy put them to bed.

I did not dwell on the fact that the Mr. will be away AGAIN this week.

I did just have a shot of cough medicine and a glass of wine hoping it lulls me into sweet cough free slumber.

I did not realize how great that would feel :).


**Happy Memorial Day and THANK YOU to the service men and women, past and present for fighting for the many many freedoms I have and freedoms that my children will have long after I am gone.

YA-HOO!

Oh my god.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god OH MY GAWD!



LOOK WHAT I FOUND! The Diet Dr. has made me the happiest woman evah.

Take a lookey here - it's Caffiene Free!




And it was on sale!

I bought 5 cases.

I may go back for 10 more.

My achin head!

Mr. Kiss and I went to the NCAA LaCrosse tourney today. The first game was at noon, so booked the babysitter for 8am and were on the road by 8:30am! 25 seconds later, we were all excited and giddy and I said - "you got the tickets, right?"

Dora our Explorer made a promt U-Turn. Score one for Momma, HE FORGOT THE TICKETS! And I reminded him! I'd have been PIZZED if we got to the game and no tickets. Woot for me.

Anyway, this is gonna be a lil disjointed because it's been a looooooong day. We got to the parking lot around 9...because of course you have to tailgate for a college lacrosse game, right? We had mimosas - pounded 2 bottles of champagne by 11 am. Fantastic. I proceeded to wash it down w/ a beer (ew). So yeah, I was tanked by noon.

Our seats were so great, row one - behind the teams. And God knows why but the camera man was on us like a fly on shit...we were apparently on t.v. a whole lot! I had a blast, but then passed out, I mean, took a nap for about 15 minutes. Wonder of that was on t.v.? Hrmph.

In the end our team won - in double over time - and I lost my voice we screamed so much.

Back home by 4ish, to excited screams from both boyzz. It was also, coincidentally, just in time for the hangover to begin. I immediately started the "countdown to bedtime" in my head... Big Kiss was jealous, he wanted to come w/ us to the "LAH-cross game"...maybe on Monday - we're going back for the final round.

Kids have been snoozing for a while, I'm about to join them.

Drunk Momma is fun.

Hangover Momma is a bitch.

Temptation!

This is what I am currently staring at.

I've already had some of the Diet Dr. I can't kick that habit! I'm down to one every other day - it's so frackin delish. But I'm supposed to drink that INSTEAD of the calorie and fat laden sweets that seem to be everywhere these days! Yeah, that bag of peanut m-n-m's? There's a HUGE bowl of bags on my admin's desk. So I resisted the temptation for 4 days and today - I grabbed a bag.

Now, my dilemma. How much will power do I have? I'd like to eat, oh, 10. Just 10. And save some for another day.

But they're just STARING at me.

I've already popped 3 into my mouth. DAMNIT! What to do what to do...

Oh, and I won a free Diet Dr. Pepper (the code on the inside told me!) It's a conspiricy, I swear. They don't want me to quit.

OK - off to hide the rest of the bag!

***********
edit to add...
Must be some sort of record for me. I'm so weak! PANSY!!!!

Sporty Romantic?

Now THIS (click me) is really refreshing! A seemingly big tuff footballer with some really kick ass writing skills. I'm not saying all athletes are "dumb jocks," not in the least - but it's rare to see one blogging. And about something so sweet as his upcoming wedding.

My favorite quote:

"She dressed to make men panic, but beyond that she was beautiful. Her smile was incredible and she had something terribly contagious in her eyes."

GAH! Can you imagine your man writing that about you? Gave me the goosebumps!

Very cool.

I'm a sports fan (altho not a Redskins fan) and I think I'll be following this guy's Wednesday yahoo posts...just to see the real guy behind the helmet.


see also ChrisCooly's blog

Speaking of warmth..

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have PEE!

That's right, my son, who's 2 years and 355 days old (his b-day is next week) peed in the potty for the very first time last night.

I am over the moon. This kid and his MAN POOPS needs to be out of diapers. Right quick.

This is progress...

Feel the warmth...

I'm not one for e-mail forwards but this is a good one.

True Friendship, None of that Sissy Crap

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.



Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth..

Share your lucky lotto numbers?

Scene: My bed, 5am. "Pablo" has just crawled up and over me into the middle. Sun's a blarin thru the window. I'm working sooooo hard to keep my eyes shut so that he does not think it's time to wake up.

Pablo (in a whisper): Excuse me, Momma. Milk please.

Momma: silence

Pablo: I'd like some milk please [whiny at the end]

Momma: more silence

Pablo (shouting whisper): EXCUSE ME. MILK PLEEEAAAAASSSEEEEE.

Momma (one eye open): It's still early, in a minute.

Pablo: one minute? is it time? milk? one minute? excuse me momma. milk please. I'd like milk please, one minute?

I held the kid off till 5.45 but MAN, I need to use black sheets and duct tape to make my house dark dark dark until at least 6.30 am. He made up for it by giving me lots of hugs and kisses after he drank his milk. I hope this kid is always so loving.

And it's official, Lil Kiss has pink eye AND an ear infection. Loverly. But the kid was so exhausted, he slept all night long, didn't move an inch. And woke up with eyese like Rocky again - both eyes this time - but is looking much better now. Poor Lil dude.

On my way to work (at 1pm) I returned that damn dress. Tried on a smaller size, fit much better, but my barrel belly is still to thick for it to look "ok."

Damnit.

Off to play the lottery so I can get that tummy tuck...

Road trip...

I'm going home to change at lunch.

This dress SUCKS on me!

Random Shiznit

~~I went a little crazy this morning and added cheese to my omelet. Low-fat white american cheese. I don't recommend it. Just go big or go home and get the real shit. I'll stick to the plain ol egg whites w/ peppers and tomatoes & a splash of Frank's Red Hot from now on.

Of course, I still finished the whole damn thing.

~~We opened our pool this weekend. I say "we" - but I just watched. Dontcha just want to take a dip???

Heh. This is fresh from the long hard winter. Have to get it ready for the pool guy to come this week to install the HEATER! And after like 3924879 gallons of chemicals, it's actually turning blue as we speak.

~~We went to a friend's kid's First Birthday party on Saturday. Gorgeous day, my kids were absolute angels (of course) and the everyone had so much fun. Even their dog. "We ain't leavin till the Doggie's HEE-vin!"

~~I'm not happy with my outfit today. I found the cutest dress at Targhay the other day (Yes, at Target - I'm thrifty and the economy is in the shitter right now). It's brown and summery and wicked comfy. But it came with this tie / belt thing and using that made me look pregnant so I skipped it and with out it the dress has no shape and I feel like I'm wearing a mumu. It's very very comfy. But not at all flattering.

Lessee if I can find a pic. It's frackin cute. Hmmm, maybe I just need a smaller size? Anyhoodle, I guess I'll just spend the day in my office.

~~Lil Kiss woke up with one eye swollen shut. I think the kid has allergies. BAD. I'm pretty sure it's not pink eye - we've been there done that and the inside isn't pink. But he's all snorky, sneezing snot rockets and rubbing his eyes. He looked like Rocky this morning w/ one eye all stuck shut. So we've got that to contend with today.

~~Big Kiss called me a cow. I was putting a ribbon in my hair (closest thing I could find to tie back the mess) and he said "Momma you're a COW!" Um, OK. "Say moo, momma." Blank stare. "SAY MOOOOOOOOOO!" moo. "Momma's a COW, Momma's a COW!" Thanks kid, love you too.

~~Oh, and he likes to be called Pablo now. "My name Pablo." As in, won't do anything unless you call him Pablo. Sit and finish your breakfast, Pablo. Sleep tight Pablo. Don't hit your brother, Pablo. My guess is he's gonna get funny looks at school if he keeps it up but - meh - it's kinda funny to me.

I'm 37% White Trash

I am 37% White Trash.

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

hysterical.

The "haircut" comment totally comes from the fact that I've had a mullett.

In Jr. High.

And yeah, it looked cool!

Single Parents Rock

Where o where has my hus band gone,
Where o where can he be?

Yep, that's right - Mr. Kiss is gone again, leaving me to single-mom it for a few. He's back late tonight, tho - so yay me. The thing is, it's a really busy time at work and so I've had to book our babysitter (Lil Kiss' daycare teacher) to bring the boyzz home from school, get them fed and in their jammies. Lil Kiss has been in bed before I'm home, but - much to our delight, we get to catch up in the wee hours. Last night, for instance, he decided he wanted to play from 2a to 3a. The night before - it was 4a to 5a...Sigh. At least I get to see him!

When the bebe and I are "playing", Big Kiss says screw this and goes to my bed (they share a room). 'S OK, that king sized bed is pretty lonely w/out the Mr.

So while I've been paying someone else to "single mom" for me in the evenings, I do get the pleasure of getting everyone ready & out the door in the mornings.

Good times.

Lil Kiss now NEEDS me in his sight at.all.times. or he goes batshit crazy. Seriously - cranes his neck and yells if he can't see me. And he's semi-crawling (mobility SUCKS!) so I can't just plop him down any ol place anymore. Yesterday, whilst Big Kiss was happily eating fruity cheerios and watching cah-toons, I had to sit Lil Kiss in the bathroom w/ me while I took a shower. I will be signing them both up for therapy for having to see my nekkid body, I'm quite sure. But what the hell, he was content (if not scarred for life) and I was clean.

This morning was a tough one, but with only one session in the penalty box, we were good to go. I didn't even have to clean up baby puke off my shoulder today. Score one for Momma.

I do not know how single parents do it. And once again, I so appreciate me madre for raising us on her own, while going to college. My Hero.

Hope you find your way home safe, hus-band of mine - praying for good weather, good flights and that you got some rest - b/c your loving ass is getting out of bed tonite to play w/ your children!

Some quotes from my date w/ the DVR...

A few television quotes, since I’ve been catching up on DVR

Side note – I was SO flucking stoked to do the elliptical last night and the god damn thing is broken. No tension - I was pushing it all the way up to 10 and NOTHIN. So I drank and watched T.V. instead. Hence the quotes...

Not verbatim, remember, I was drinking…

“Well I don’t speak girl.” ~Christina, Grey’s Anatomy

“I like Penis. I mean, I’m a huge HUGE fan of penis.” ~ Callie, Grey’s Anatomy tee hee.

“Marriage is hard. The man I’m looking to marry is the one who will work hard with me.” ~Fakey Blonde Shayne, or how ever the F you spell her name, the winner of The Bachelor (it’s actually a fantastic, mature thought).

“Monkey, will you marry me?” ~Matt Grant, the newly engaged Bachelor. (How endearing. There had better be a damn good story behind it, so they can tell their kids…who am I kidding, like it’ll last).

Clown car...

The Duggars are having another kid.

I got a BIG OL' Kick out of this!

Blessed

What an incredible weekend AWAY from the computer!

I had the most non-eventful Mother's Day and I wouldn't change a thing. Lil Kiss fell asleep in my arms in church (he's a crib sleeper - this was a sweet gift). And Big Kiss grabbed my face and turned it to whisper in my ear "I have a secret, I love you all the time." The in-laws came over, too - so I got to take a nap! HEH-ven!

Life's picking up in these parts, this will be a week from hell ~ so putting the boys to bed was extra special for me tonight. I rocked Little Kiss way longer than he needed - and just let my soft tears roll down my cheeks. And Big Kiss was extra snuggly tonight - patting my leg and touching my cheek while we watched his before bed cah-toons.

I'm so blessed to be their mother. So incredibly blessed.

Happy Mothers Day!

Eff You See Kay.

'nuff said... (just been one of those days - F is not for Fun Friday!)

Fashionista

I love Spring. Especially in the North East. The buds start budding on the trees, flowers start sprouting up. People are outside more, walking in the neighborhood. Everyone that's been bitching about the long cold winter is all aglow with happiness!

You know what, tho - Spring also means outfits change.

I happen to work in the home office of a retail company. So in the caf, it’s fun to see all the buyers dressed in the latest trends. Especially in the Spring – you know, light colored pants and “thinner” fabrics.

But some people really need some help, thus - I am here to assist.

** I do not want to see your thong. Ever. Not showing thru your light colored pants. Not peeking out of your pants. Not ever.

** I don’t care if you’re a size 2 or a size 20. I don’t, variety makes the world go round. But please, wear clothes appropriate for your size. Please. Everyone can look appealing in something, regardless of size...just b/c it's getting warmer out does not mean that you need to show more skin (via tiny shirts that are way too small for you).

** This is NEVER EVER acceptable:

Love hate relationship

The Laptop.

What an invention.

When I was an auditor (eons ago!) I had a laptop and that thing was my life (client software, etc.). But that was before wireless was big and there wasn’t nearly as much fun stuff on the internets.

My previous gig, in an investment bank – I had a desktop and absolutely loved that I did not have to carry my office with me every single day.

At the current sweat shop – I have both. I typically use the laptop only at home (I do get to work from home once in a while), but lately I’ve been luggin it back & forth b/c my desktop hasn’t been upgraded in ages and I’m too - meh - I don't know, lazy? - to call IT to take care of it.

Anyhoo – I love and hate the little machine.

The Love,

• So easy to sit the couch in the evenings, catch up on DVR and surf the net. Or blog. Or play with photoshop. Or instant message. You get it.

• Very handy for the couple of hours I had in the Vegas aeroport a few weeks ago – wireless rocks! And for free, even bettah!

• On rainy weekends, one form of entertainment w/ Big Kiss is to click around to find Diego (barf), The Backyardigans (ew) or Yo Gabba Gabba (stab me in the eye). AND – he absosmurlfly loves looking at videos and pictures of himself on our family website. We have a few friends on the same site and cruising those is fun for him too.

• It’s makes for an easier world, I have to admit.

The Hate,

• So easy to sit the couch in the evenings, catch up on DVR and surf the net. Or blog. Or play with photoshop. Or instant message. You get it. Heh. Looks familiar, no? But I can not believe how much MORE I’m online, etc. with this friggin laptop! It’s almost an addiction. I’m not that bad – yet – but good Lawd, I used to do many other things while catching up on DVR: stretch, sit ups, write in my journals to the boyzz, talk on the phone. I just don’t do that stuff as much. Sad.

• Mr. Kiss is on it all the time, too. When he’s supposed to be “with the boyzz.” He flips on cah-toons and grabs the laptop (or his fucking crackberry). Not the image I want them to be accustomed to – b/c they’ll think it’s the norm. And we do not want that in our house! (full disclosure, my own use is typically after they’ve been asleep and drooling for hours.)

• It’s damn heavy. Should I continue my love, I may need the boz to upgrade me to a slimmer version. Wait – the heavy part could be a love thing – it’s a minor work out to carry this damn brick to & from work ;)


Ok – so what’s it gonna be, laptop o’ mine??? I have to make some choices – do I love you enough to keep you around???

SEEING RED!

God DAMNIT!

I seriously hate being female sometimes. I know - monthly courses (*snigger*) are what makes us women and are necessary to bring children into this world.

But I'm DONE with that part of life. Kitchen's closed. No Mo Kids in the Kiss Hizza!

So why o why am I still cursed! Ugh. Fuck. I mean, it's part of life, yeah yeah - I get it. But I thought I was done today and thus not PREPARED for the mess that I am dealing with right now.

Mutha Fluckin Mothah Nature!

sustenance?

Can you live on edamame?

Those delish peas in a pod you eat w/ sushi?

Because I’m quite sure I would if I could. Edamame and Diet Dr. Pepper. Yum.

OH oh uh oh oh!

There is nothing better than memories...

it's the right stuff, baby.

One

Number of servings of water down the gullet today = One.

Dat iz nat gud for zee weight loss plan!

Must guzzle more WATER!!!

Cinco de mayo

We had the best weekend. On Saturday morning, I took Big Kiss to the circus! He was AMAZED to say the least. It’s that lil kid AWE that you just can’t help but be sucked in.

On Sunday, we made a trip to Snip-Its. Whole Fam Damily.
Oh. Em. Gee.
The kid sat in the chair (not clinging to me), went to town on his lollypop and DID NOT CRY! I can not tell you how excited we were. Of course, I looked like a complete freak tard the whole time trying to keep him in a good mood and distract him [picture me jumping around, trying to steal his lollypop, oohing and ahhing] – whatev. A momma’s got to do what a momma’s got to do!

I’m so proud of my baby (and I’m pretty sure the kiddie stylest was pretty happy, too - no kicking, screaming or kid snot to dodge).

And Little Kiss is officially too big for his swing. :( MAN, we got some good use out of that thing. But b/c we were out running ervands all day, he didn’t get a good afternoon nap but was wicked tired so I gave him a bottle, his eyes rolled back in his head and he was out. Until I picked him up. I put him in the swing anyway and usually he chills and is conked out real quick. But he was fussin a bit so I went to check on him. It’s sad – but I WISH I had my camera. He was half hanging out over the side (thank God for the buckles) and there was milk puke under the swing. And as soon as he saw me, he reached out like “Cheesenrice, Momma, get me OUT of this contraption!”

As for the Mister & Missus? We had 2 (count ‘em TWO) date nites. Both in house, but our kids go to bed so early, it’s easy to do often. We like to have a good meal and watch a movie or some DVR’s – ‘cept I’m usually ungodly tired and am drooling on the armchair by 9pm. Well on Friday we had some wine and watched 3 dvrs. And on Saturday – sushi, wine and a WHOLE movie. Bourne Supremacy (I think? The 3rd one). It was so damn good.

The weather sucked in these parts, but we had a good weekend in spite of it.

This morning we woke up to blaring sunshine! Gawjus. I got the kids out of the house w/ the Mr. and then took the dog for a nice long walk…on a mission to lose 5lbs this month. Hard core baby.

Big day for Momma Kiss. I admit it. I’m a NKOTB fan. And I’m so going to their concert. Bought the tickets this morning. It’s one of those concerts Mr. Kiss was like “that’s a great one for you to see w/ your girl friends!” (he uses the same response for chick flicks). I was way too poor when they toured last so Hell Yeah, I’ll be among the zillion 30somethings in the audience!

143 days till the concert…

.

Mother Nature is a biznatch!

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

In nineteen minutes you can mow the lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game.

In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five.

Nineteen minutes is how long it took the Tennessee Titans to sell out of tickets to the play-offs. It's the length of a sitcom, minus the commercials. It's the driving distance from the Vermont border to the town of Sterling, New Hampshire.

In nineteen minutes, you can order pizza and get it delivered. You can read a story to your child or have your oil changed. You can walk a mile. You can sew a hem.

In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world, or you can just jump off it.

In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge. ~ Jodi Picoult


A friend and fellow momma recommended this book and it has changed me. It has actually rocked me to my very core.

It is chilling to read. And difficult to read.

But I believe any parent, or adult with children in their lives, or even teenagers should read it.

The story is about a school shooting. And the character build is phenomenal, the teen years, flash backs to early childhood, etc.

I can fully relate to many of the characters, even 15+ yrs out of high school. I was a misfit. We moved a lot when I was little. So I was often the new kid. And my (single) mother went to college late in life, so for years we were on welfare. I was teased for not having the best outfits or for getting free lunch. I was bullied at times.

And then I can sort of relate to the “popular” crowd, too…in high school, I had friends who were jocks and pretty. I wouldn’t say I was totally “IN” that crowd, but I was accepted by it and it felt nice.

Looking back, I feel like I balanced myself really well in HS, not that anyone could have told me that at the time. I had friends in lots of groups – the smokers, jocks, brains, pretty people. As I said, looking back – that’s a tough thing to accomplish, but at the time, my goal was to just be accepted. By anyone. And not desperately, I don’t think. But in a “this is hard, this teenage stuff, I’m looking for anyone who can relate” sort of way.

So anyway, now that I’m a mother to 2 young boys, this book could not have been written at a better time. It poses many many questions without really answering any of them. The shooter, Peter, is the younger of 2 boys who is continually compared to his older (and smarter, more athletic, amazing) brother. I’ve always known I wanted to ensure that my sons are raised as individuals, but how many times have parents done that “compare?” And even the most benign or subliminal comment can stick with a kid. Peter is also bullied because he is slighter, wears glasses and is just “odd” (or so it seems to other kids). His lunchbox is thrown out the window of the bus on his very first day of school and the torment never ends. It turns worse with (and this is my biggest nightmare) the internet. Can you imagine dealing with that every single day? There are kids being bullied right this very second. And how many stick up for them?

So I continue to question, how can I raise my children to be good. How do I ensure they’re not bullied? AND, how to I ensure they’re not THE bully? I know in my heart I can’t keep them in my sight forever, but isn’t that the only way I’ll know they’re OK? Part of letting them become men is to let go, but to think I have allow that independence at a young age? In kindergarten? That’s going to be a tough balance for them, to be cool, but not too cool. I love love LOVE my sensitive little boy right now. But what if he’s “too sensitive” for the cool kids and is not treated well?

My God, I could go on forever.

I’ve talked to Mr. Kiss about this and he thinks I’m a little bit nuts, but this has really been weighing on my mind. We do agree that the only thing we can do is teach them to love, but not coddle them. And to talk to them. To monitor what we can, but not smother. And to talk to them. We will have a computer in an open area and monitor use (even though they can find computers anywhere else, I’m sure). And talk to them. Have I mentioned talk to them? I can’t stand the thought of them withdrawing.

I’m not ready to have teenagers. Hell, I’m not ready to have 5 year olds! It’s years away – but I’m doing my best to build a good foundation now.

I’ve rambled a bit, but I guess my point is that I’m very glad I read this book, it’s opened my eyes to a whole lot of things kids deal with these days and I’m sure it’ll be even more crazy in 10 / 15 years.

My only option is to parent the best I can and when it’s time to let go, let go ~ praying I did my best.

Cake? Grampa? Mommy!?

I'm back at work. Ew.

So the red eye. I don’t recommend it. But it was the best option available to me. I had a short layover in Long Beach, CA. Let me just say that I do not recommend this airport to anyone. All gates were outside, the seating area itself was questionable and skanky dirty and there were crazy people everywhere. But I turned on Iggy (the ipod) and watched a rented movie (I now pronounce you chuck & larry – pretty funny).

We board and I’m so freakin siked that I have a row to myself. Yep. So stoked.

Until this woman is walking around looking for more space w/ her little baby. I didn’t even hesitate to move over to share my row w/ her. I’ve been there done that and losing a bit of comfort was worth it…I truly believe in karma. She was really sweet and her 4mos old son was very good. Not that I’d have minded if he cried – I know it’s every traveling mother’s fear – but my belief is, babies cry, flying sucks for everyone involved, what can you do? But he slept and cooed. I slept some, too – but not enough to make Momma happy!

Anyway – the trip was amazing. I love getting away w/ Mr. Kiss. We sat by the pool a lot (it was 85 / 90 each day!), drank and ate a lot, slept a lot and even gambled some. I’m now in love with Roulette. I think I’ll buy my own wheel & chips.

I pulled into my driveway yesterday at 6.30am. I was exhausted to say the least but so excited to see my babies. As I dropped my bags, I heard Big Kiss yelling "MOMMY! ARE YOU?!" (where are you). I went up to their room and both were freshly dressed and free with their kisses. Well, Big Kiss likes to “cheek” me now, we kiss but he turns to give me his cheek at the last minute. And Little Kiss was in his crib, sitting up and totally started reaching for me and when I didn’t get there fast enough, he biffed his forehead into the corner of the crib :( Poor dude, he’s now sporting a bruised egg on his noggin :(. But I got the best smooches from him.

Gah, I love my boyzz.

Mr. Kiss gave me the rundown – who ate what, how they slept, etc. and then told me a story:
So get this: I saw you pull into the drive and said to Big Kiss “Guess What!” Big Kiss replies w/ the Big Eyed Whisper / Shout – “CAKE?” Ah, nope. “Grampa?” Ha, no. “Mommy!”

Yep, I’m 3rd in line behind Cake and Grampa. Nice. And now I know that Big Kiss was purely spoiled when I was gone, most likely with cake.

I helped get everyone ready for the day and then shipped them out the door – Momma needed to sleep! And sleep I did. I put on my newly acquired sleep mask (thank you Jet Blue!) and conked out for hours. Got up, ate, and slept some more.

Whew. Traveling wipes me out. And yesterday is a blur. I’m so ready for the weekend when NOTHING is going on!

Maybe I’ll even bake Big Kiss a (veggie hidden jessica senifeld) cake…