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Momma Kiss: In a "nutshell"

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Monday, May 26, 2008

In a "nutshell"

I did “start” the weekend a little early by leaving work at 2 on Friday.

I did take an hour long lunch on Friday.

I did not feel guilty about taking a full lunch and leaving early on Friday.

I did have a beer at 3.30 pm on Friday.

I did finish that beer in the yard while my kids frolicked.

I did not eat “Friday Night Pizza” with the family (but I did sit with them).

I did eat cheese and crackers with Mr. Kiss while I finished another beer.

I did go for a walk with Lil Kiss at 6am on Saturday morning.

I did thank the Lord that our babysitter was on time on Saturday morning.

I did not read my magazines on the way to the Lacrosse game with Mr. Kiss.

I did, instead, talk to my husband on the way to the Lacrosse game!

I did get “mimosa drunk” by, oh, 11am on Saturday morning.

I did speak, a lil drunkenly, to 5 teenage boys on the way into the stadium.

I did not have a clue what we spoke about.

I did almost fall flat on my face on my way to the port-o-john outside the stadium.

I did remember to use my hand sanitizer after hovering above 91328479287 other peoples bodily secretions.

I did not remember my sunscreen on Saturday.

I did wear a hat.

I did get too much sun on my knees and on the lower half of my face.

I did yell and scream way too much during the game, particularly when our team won, in double OT.

I did get to show the Lacrosse world my yelling and screaming as the Mr. and I were “the crazy fans” highlighted on t.v. quite a bit.

I did not like seeing myself in HD when we watched the game at home.

I did go to bed at 9pm on Saturday night.

I did visit with Lil Kiss at 1am and 4am and was up for the day at 6am on Sunday.

I did count the minutes until the In-laws arrived on Sunday (reinforcements).

I did not enjoy baking Big Kiss’ birthday cake while he cried it out for nap time.

I did end up making a KICK ASS birthday cake for the monster in spite of his nastyness.

I did not tell my husband, father in law or almost 3 year old that the cake was low sugar and had pumpkin and yogurt in it.

I did thoroughly enjoy hearing it was the moistest cake they’d ever eaten. (is moistest a flippin word?)

I did read my magazines while my mother in law put my children to bed last night.

I did go to bed soon thereafter (at 8.15) last night.

I did not enjoy going to bed in our guest room (queen bed), but it’s the best option when the ‘rents are here.

I did hear Big Kiss awake at 3am.

I did hear Lil Kiss awake at 3.01 am.

I did not let Big Kiss sleep with me at 3.02 am.

I did send him to snuggle in with Gramma.

I did take Lil Kiss to bed with me at 3.03 am.

I did not enjoy that he took up half of this queen bed while the Mr. and I fought over the other half.

I did dream that my face was being eaten by spiders.

I did laugh when I realized it was Lil Kiss playing with my nose and eyes and mouth.

I did not laugh when I looked at the clock and saw 5:07am blaring back at me.

I did take my boyz to Kohl’s with me today – happy for G’Ma’s help.

I did buy 2 new bras today.

I did NOT like the size of these bras.

I did not enjoy chasing Big Kiss around Kohl’s with one of these bras on his head.

I did not argue when my mother in law offered to pay for everything in the cart.

I did, during lunch, tell my mother in law that my husband, her son, had a vasectomy.

I did not for one second think that was a good idea – but I have no filter.

I did let G’Ma put my kids down for a nap.

I did not feel one ounce of guilt as I sat outside by the pool, read my book and soaked up the rays.

I did try to “even out” the sun on my face.

I did not succeed and now have raccoon eyes.

I did have the greatest weekend with my family.

I did love running around my yard with my son and his neighbor bud – kicking the big bouncy ball and tossing the football and cradling the lacrosse sticks.

I did not worry about my ass or gunt jiggling as I ran about.

I did love sitting in the grass as Lil Kiss touched it very delicately between his chubby little fingers.

I did not dwell on the fact that I am coming down with a wretched cold and am hacking up a lung.

I did give my boyz extra hugs and kisses as their Daddy put them to bed.

I did not dwell on the fact that the Mr. will be away AGAIN this week.

I did just have a shot of cough medicine and a glass of wine hoping it lulls me into sweet cough free slumber.

I did not realize how great that would feel :).

**Happy Memorial Day and THANK YOU to the service men and women, past and present for fighting for the many many freedoms I have and freedoms that my children will have long after I am gone.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG this was the funniest thing I have read in a long time! Thanks for making me giggle.

See, I do pay attention!

5/29/08, 1:29 AM  

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