Coffee? Tea? Me?

Blah. I'm sitting in the airport, waiting to head back to reality. Mr. Kiss left early this morning, fully intending to relieve the 'rents for bedtime - but of course he had a delay and got home 2 hours late. The 'rents don't mind (so they say, I'm pretty sure it's true)...but I think they'll stay one more night instead of heading home right away.

I - on the otherhand - will be spending my evening on an Aero-plane.

The Red Eye.

Blah.

I'm literally going from sleeping in the most luxurious bed I've EVAH slept in to a crunched up airline seat. The best I can hope for is a row of my own so I can stretch out all 62 and a quarter inches of myself.


Crossing my fingers...

Tick tock, tick tock

I need some of those ticker thingies. You know the annoying things you see at the bottom of message board posts?

I can call them annoying, I used to have one.

Watching that thing creep ever.so.slowy. toward 40 weeks when I was preggo was pure agony. Yet also necessary, I needed the constant reminder that there was in fact an end in sight!

Aaaaannnyyy way.

I need one for the return of the best shows on television: Grey's Anatomy (in 4 hours, 45 minutes) and LOST (in 5 hours, 45 minutes).

Tick tock, tick tock.

AND, I need another one to tick away the days / hours until my trip w/ the Mr! I'm so G. Damn excited to get away with him!

Tick tock, tick tock.

HAPPY hump day.

This has been the best week EVAH. And it's only Wednesday. Monday I had the day off to spend with the boyzz (daycare was closed for an international event running thru our town).

It was fantastic.

Wait, Who am I and where is Momma Kiss?

Yeah, I admit it - I am FINALLY at the stage where I am not anxious about a full day with the boyzz. I used to get nervous, what will we do all day? How do I keep Big Kiss happy while trying to nap Little Kiss (without turning on the t.v. for 7 hours straight)? How many tantrums will Big Kiss throw and HOW FAST CAN WE GET TO TARGET??

But nope, Big Kiss has been fairly well behaved lately. Well, that or I'm better clued into his cues to head them off. And Little Kiss is just so fun these days. Very interactive, reaching for me, hugging me, laughing when I tickle his toes.

We all stayed in our jammies till almost noon. Little Kiss took a great morning nap and since we couldn't really go outside, I decided Big Kiss and I would have "quiet reading time" - he read his books and I read mine. He kept checking in:

Still reading, Momma?

No playing cars, right Momma?

No cartoons, right Momma?

Quiet time, Momma. You read.

I loved it! I actually got a few chapters of my book read. And when Little Kiss woke up, we all went to the grocery store - which was so fun (Again, who am I?). I had him in the bjorn and Big Kiss in the "big ass police car cart that's way to ginormous for words" - but he promised he'd sit in there the whole time and did just that!

Both boyzz played outside while I brought the groceries in and put them away. It's so cute to look out and see my children frolicking. Yes. Frolicking. Well, Big Kiss was. Little Kiss was sitting w/ that PERFECT baby posture, just playing with his toys and reaching to touch the grass like it was the most amazing thing.

Little Kiss took another nap (Score!) and so Big Kiss and I shared some spiderman mac & cheese and then he said was tired and walked up to his room. It was really too good to be true, he didn't nap - but he did play up there for an hour and we'll call that a "rest."

My momma friend in the 'hood was home w/ her kids, too, so we took a walk to her house. It was, oh, 65 or 70 degrees out? My little man, Big Kiss, he's just growing so much. Too fast for my liking. He now runs way up ahead of me, Freezes when I say (so I can catch up) and then runs some more. He picks up acorns and pinecones (corn). He surveys the sitch like the most curious of scientists. I just want to bottle him up. Can you do that? I know you can't.

Mr. Kiss had a big project going down, so I had the boyzz all to myself for the entire day and night and I am so thankful for it.

Yesterday, back to work and school for everyone. Mr. Kiss was out again (this time for fun) so I was on pick up; dinner; bedtime duty again. We got home and all went for a walk, had a great dinner together. Brother's Smooches for Little Kiss at bedtime and Big Kiss snuggled into me during his 20 minute pre-bedtime cartoon.

It's days like the past two that remind me that I'm meant to be a Mom.

Not just a Mom, I'm meant to be their Mom.

/end sappy Momma.

So this weekend the 'rents are coming to stay w/ the boyzz so that Mr. Kiss and I can go away and have some fruity drinks by a fabulous pool.

2 days of fun w/ Mr. Kiss and then 2 days of a work conference for me.

I'm lovin life right now!

And it's only Wednesday!

I hope it's contagious - everyone should feel this good.

33 hours of pure bliss.

I had the best weekend with my friend, Bobo. Her house is 424.2 miles from Chateau Kiss.

That’s about 423.1 miles too far.

My flight was later in the evening and when I landed, we had a 2 ½ to 3 hour drive ahead of us…Which on a normal night would put me waaaayyyy past my bedtime but that uninterrupted time in the car w/ Bobo? You can’t PAY for time like that! We finally arrived at the beach and were tucked in bed around 2am. I was exhausted. Wait, EXHAUSTED. But very excited to see my friend. So the slumber Gods blessed us and we slept till 9. Even tho it wasn’t a long night’s sleep, I can not remember the last time I slept till 9.

We went for breakfast at this place she’s always wanted to try but never had and it was yummilicious! I got the salmon benedict and she got the crab version. Halfway thru, we swapped plates. And I was groped a few times by this 80 yr old man, who decided he neede to use the restroom more than once just to walk by us and feel me up.

Then a reload on coffee and headed to the outlets. Well, one store only - a Coach outlet. Need I say more? There was sooooo much on sale and I could have easily spent $500. And I’d have had so much so show for that cash! Alas, all I got was the cutest tiniest little “coach wallet keychain” that holds 2 pictures (perfect for the boyzz). It’s green & white. I’ll have to try to find a pic. Bobo showed much restraint and only got the wristlet she was actually shopping for and a similar photo keychain. Afterward we discussed a nap but honestly? I had less than 24 hours to spend there and didn’t want to spend it snoozing.

So we decided to drink in public instead ;)

We loaded our bags w/ magazines that we could use to pretend to read while we people watched and then proceeded to pour champagne into sippy cups. With straws.

Classy.

But highly functional.

We took a stroll to the exact spot on the beach where she got married, took some pictures of the waves and couldn’t believe how nice it was to be walking around w/out a diaper bag or stroller or snot wiper or (insert any kid related item). We parked ourselves on the boardwalk – sippies in hand – and just gabbed. It was really priceless. And she’s one of those friends who you can go weeks or months w/out seeing and you just fall back into step like you saw each other the previous night.

We went back to the condo to pee & reload the sippies. We booked a spa date at this new place right on the boardwalk that Bobo was really excited to try. Hell - it was a cluster fuck from the get go. We were booked for 3.30 pedicures. When we showed up, totally on time, they said that they could take Bobo right away, but didn’t I call to cancel mine? Um, nope. Well, you see, Donna had a massage at 3.30, she called to reschedule for 2pm and then never showed. Hey – that’s great & all, but I’m not Donna. My name is similar, but nope, I’m not Donna. I proceeded to make myself a name tag, first and last name, and taped it to my chest. And we called the bitch who screwed everything up Donna Martin Graduates. If there’s a remote chance in hell she has a clue this is about her: Fuck off! So yeah, that was just the beginning. The place had tons of potential. They sell / use Aveda stuff which is exactly my cup o’ tea. And it’s right on the boardwalk – but the shop was closed up as if were 40 degrees outside. The sea breeze would have added so much to the ambiance.

But they offered wine when we arrived (suh-wheet!) and then only had red and we prefer white (can’t mix colors or there’d I’d be in hangover hell the next day). Great, the owner who was gayer than a bag full or rainbows (not a necessary detail, I guess, but it is such a perfect description of him and we loved him!), went out to get some. We see him coming back in w/ a box. A box o’ wine. And it was warm. So they put ice in it.

We should have passed altogether, but seriously, the wine was the best part of the experience.

The sitting together and soaking was really fun – me w/ my nametag and us both cursing Donna Martin Graduates…we got lots of attention. But the pedi’s sucked ass. The chick didn’t even clean up the cuticles or file the nails. And the application had to be done 3 times. We were clearly not happy and got 20% off and a 10% off for the next visit that Bobo made clear would probably go to waste. Her inlaws’ condo is about 30 feet from the place and she would have loved to be able to recommend it to the family / beach friends but no way in hell is that happenin! So we chalked it up to – hmmmm, can’t even describe it? No chalking up – we just left.

Since our toes clearly did not need special post-pedi carefulness, we just went crazy and played in the waves. And then Bobo splashed me and we pushed each other in and then just plopped our asses down in the sand and laughed and hugged. We could have easily been lovers or sisters…but nope, just best friends having a great time away. We got some couple to take our pics which is Supah b/c we never ever get pics of us, it’s always pics of one of us w/ the kids or just the kids.

Oh – and in the mayhem I lost my shades. Some bottom-feeding crab is prolly sportin a stylish look right now. You’re welcome.

As if that weren’t enough adventure for one day, we had dinner reservations at some swanky establishment that required a shower. Whoa. But I guess after sitting in the ocean getting sand stuck in undies, I needed it.

I have to admit I was pretty wiped out but dinner was serene and fantastic. Bobo’s family eats there a lot and, in fact, that same week her mother in law and aunt had dinner there and her aunt choked on asparagus and the bartender had to perform the Heimlich! So Bobo was instructed to hug everyone involved and say thankyou thankyou thankyou for saving her aunt’s life. We were also advised not to eat the stuffed chicken breast (asparagus bearing culprit). I had a scallop dish and Bobo got the Mac & Cheese and we shared a dessert. I do not know how I even fit all of that in my gubba, but a girl’s gotta eat ;)

Back to the ranch, jammies on and I was drooling by 10pm. Party Animals.

Sunday we slept in a lil, took a walk for coffee and then headed out. It’s always hard when our weekends are ending. We know we need to get on w/ our lives and back to our families but we just always wish there was more time.

I’m actually working on a real Ode to Bobo, which is heavily based on fate and circumstances, but our weekend in general just solidifies the fact that I truly believe you have a few soulmates in the world…One (or two) for marriage and a few for friendship. Sometimes I wonder if we were separated at birth – but no, we’re closer than sisters. We’re friends and that is much more valuable to me.

I love you Bobo. I had a fantastic weekend! Can’t wait to see you again.







a few pics from the trip: SO wish we had time to eat here...

Bobo has a "lip stuff" obsession...these were ALL in her purse!

and finally, the cutest little keychain in the world. it's a softer green than this shows - perfecto!

Pineapple slap your ascot!

Another Orbitz commercial (because I need the humor!!)

[to listen, turn off musak at bottom]

F'N SLEEP DEPRIVED!

I don’t know WHAT THE EFF is wrong w/ my kid.

Little Kiss has been up so much every. Single. Night.

He goes to bed at his normal time (6.30 or earlier) and by 9.30, he’s fussin. And again at 1. And again at 2, when I need to actually calm him down. Well at 4am – he was screaming bloody murder. This routine has been going on for the past – oh – 4 nights? I’ve been holding off on the drugs b/c he was on so much w/ the amox / ear infections but gave him some hylands and Tylenol last night. Teeth? Lingering in the ears? Or even allergies?

How the fuck does a 7month old have allergies??

I think they’re getting me, too (allergies) – last night – out of the blue I was hacking like a 90 yr old lifetime ciggy smoker…and then my throat was (still effing is) so sore. Do unknown allergies come on that fucking fast?

Ugh. I’m at my wits end. Little Kiss' ear infection follow up w/ the Doc isn’t till next Friday. He doesn’t have temp, tho – wouldn’t that be the indication of an infection?

AND, I’m going away tonight. Visiting my BFF. I fly out at 9 and come back on Sunday afternoon. Mr. Kiss is taking the boyzz to his 'rents tomorrow. All I want is a weekend away – she’s leaving her kids, too – but I feel like a complete azz leaving Mr. Kiss and his 'rents w/ a fussy kid. Why? Isn’t that the best time to get away ;) But really, I do.

I’m just the caretaker, you know? He's a great baby-daddy, but it’s not in his makeup to soothe like Momma does. I had to actually write a list (at his request) of what to do when he wakes up, his schedule, etc. He knows he can do it on his own, but he just likes the reminder. I’m OK w/ that but GAH, the added stress. I soooooo can not wait for my massage tomorrow…And the bottleS of wine we intend to consume.

So we’re going to the DE beach – my friend’s in-laws have a house there and it’s where she got married. It’s a quick trip but a get away for both of us and I’m so excited.

I just need my kid to reset himself - even if he does it JUST for poppa - I want him to be well!

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

Heh. Got to love Beck.

So I’ve been doing – meh – on WW. Sticking to it most days, but cheating a lot. Case in point – consuming ½ a bag of moose munch yesterday. And I’ve continued to lose, bits at a time, but today I’m down 1 whole pound. Sweetbabyjesus!

So I’m thisclose to losing 20lbs (only 0.4 to go) and then my next goal of 10 more is on the horizon.

And, I look good today (there’s my modesty again). In fact, to quote Mr. Kiss’ text message “hottie.” My hair is sassilicious. I’m wearing a super cute springy but professional dress. (a DRESS!) Even Big Kiss said “you’re prettiful, Momma.” My boyzz, they know how to make Momma smile!

Now, the plan of attack is to eat well every day EXCEPT the days I’m away (this weekend and next). I can do that, no?

You can doooo itttt.

Mis-labeled infant gear

I should write to fisher price and inform them that their gear has not been labeled properly.


Exhibit A. The PooperRoo:

Exhibit B. The ExerPooper:

These could easily qualify as baby laxitaves. No shitting. (*snigger*snort*)

Don't let them fool you with their Jumperoo or Exersaucer labels. Put your kid in either one, watch their crazy blissful smile turn to that red "yep, I'm totally shitting" face and then pray the crap is contained in their diaper.

Hell, I'd be happy if it stays in the onsie, as those baby bum baskets are a laundry nightmare.

Moose munch

Mother Flucker, this shit is GOOD!

Someone at Harry & David is clearly out to get me, with their MO FO snacks.


Milk Chocolate Moose Munch

The popcorn is lighter and fluffier. the caramel is richer and tastier - made with plenty of light golden honey and sweet cream butter.

The nuts are better, too: Giant whole cashews and crisp tasty almonds, roasted to perfect crispness.

We toss them together with the worlds sweetest milk chocolate - the piece de resistance - to create a confection that's in a league of it's own.

FO SHO!!!! Looks like I have a mega date w/ the elliptical tonight! DAMN.

Sunday blues

Sigh.

I'm avoiding my life right now. I have to make some of Little Kiss' food (don't worry, he won't starve, but I have some sweet potatoes and zucchini to smush up for him and don't wanna do it).

I had a GNO (girls nite out) last night and was soooooo tired, but it was a great, much needed night w/ my "circle." Didn't get home till almost midnight - ugh. And the Boyzz did NOT get the memo that Momma was tired yesterday - so I had been up since 5a. I slept pretty hard last night, Little Kiss was up at 3.30 (a mere 3 hours after my head hit the pillow) and again at 5. I really REALLY want him to get healthy - double ear infections suck ASS.

Our weekend was fairly uneventful - love those. Much needed at times! Today Mr. Kiss requested 3 hours to be "off the clock" so that he could actually watch the Masters. Not just have it on and let life go on around him...But crack a beer, park in the recliner and WATCH it. The event holds a special place in the Kiss House...it marks the anniversary of the arrival of our 2nd baby...First was Otto, the Kiss Mascot. And our 2nd baby arrived in April 2005 - a monster (too big to be real) HD flat screen t.v. for Manland. I'm sure it has many more electronic qualities that I'm leaving out, but what the fuck do I know - it's a nice t.v. and you can see the Nike Swoosh on Tiger's ball crystal clear.

So - um - don't have to ask me twice! Big Kiss actually napped (after an hour of bullshit) so after that, I said - Boyzz, pack it up, We're going shopping! It was rainy so we went to the mall to get Big Kiss some shoes and me some new skin stuff. My forehead is "angry" - just a frikkin mess (damn post-partum skin) The Origins lady talked me into some stuff that I'm sure was way too expensive and who knows if it'll work - but I'm trying it.

We had a nice family dinner. It was our first attempt to make a family meal and offer it to Big Kiss with out options. Pork chops, corn on the cob and potatoes. He loved the corn (called it popcorn) and wouldn't even touch the rest. Ok. You may be excused, but realize that unless you TRY it, no snacks or milk later. I mean, come on, my kid obviously has not missed a meal - if he's that hungry he'll eat. And he didn't touch it further, he was excused and went to bed w/out more. I feel a little bit like shit - but it's a process. And he needs to eat better.

Now I have the Sunday Blues, which usually only hit Mr. Kiss - but I just don't want to face the world tomorrow. Can't I just stay in my (oh so cute & comfy) Nick & Nora jammies all day? And have coffee and watch the today show and stay w/ my kids? Can't I??? Ugh. Instead I have to go to work, offsite at the printers (for our Annual Report) and be "on."

I'm totally rambling, not making a lick of sense and should hit the hay. After Big Brother and then The Tudors on DVR.

different kind of buzzzz....

I'm a little bit tipsy. Just a little bit.

Date Night with Mr. Kiss. I love him. I love him a lot. We went to dinner at an oldie but new to us local hole and it was amazing. I ordered mine "just a little bit spicy" and I wanted to sop it up w/ a biscuit it was so flocking good! I did manage a little bit of will power and managed to have some leftovers...which I will not eat, lunch for Mr. Kiss tomorrow. See, I love you Mr. Kiss. Then we went to the the bar where we're working on becoming regulars...had to stand for a bit (how dare they?) but then bellied up and woot - booze is flowing, Yankees / Sox are on t.v. and I'm in lurve.

Again, my people watching skills are in full force. This couple at the bar, whom we eyed viciously to get up (Get UP!) to no avail, was quite interesting. I'd put him at - maybe 35. But her - maybe 45 / 50. Total cougar wannabe. And it was very odd. He'd be all into her, feel her up, kiss her, etc. and then lift his eyes and look my way - like "you jealous" or "you likey?" Um, no sir, me no likey. No likey at all. Ew. She wasn't even really a cougar, she was wrinkly and clearly looked her age. But it was some good shit to watch!


Speaking of the Yankees / Sox (I was, right?), it reminds me of how I met Mr. Kiss. It was at Fenway Park, in the bleachers, about 110 degrees - me in a wife beater and ball cap, him boozin and in a Yank's jersey. Yeah, I'm quite a catch. I am. I really like sports. I love football, baseball, golf, college hoops and even lacross (Big Kiss = LAH CRross). So yeah, I love to watch sports, attend sporting events and talk about sports. To a point, but still, I love it. YET - shine me up in hose & high heels and I can wowza the best of them! I can be a girly girl but also love to kick back w/ a Miller Lite (or Guinness) and watch the Masters.

So yeah, I'm a catch, right? Well, for Mr. Kiss at least, because he is a sports NUTJOB. I'm talking more than the average bear. He stores sports facts like a squirrel stores nuts. Like Fort Knox jails prisoners. Like an old lady hordes cats. Like Big Kiss stores his cars. FACTS. And sometimes, we can discuss said facts and I actually add to the convo. I'm telling you, I'm a catch. :p

OK - my tipsy-ness is turning to drunk. I need to hit the hay. This should be fun to read tomorrow...

buzzzzz

Holy Fuck.

I'm HYPER!!!!

I got a bit of sleep last night, but was up at 4a w/ Little Kiss, back to sleep from 5 to 6 - not bad. And we were all out of the house by 7.15ish - meaning I had time to go to FourBucks to get a skinny latte and read for a bit.

Weeeeellll, still in my zombie-like haze, I forgot to ask for decaf and I'm buzzing like a crack whore who just got her fix!

WAYYYYY too much caffiene!

I am thankful.

Now I know I’m clinically tired. I can’t stop crying today.

A friend of mine from high school is battling Leukemia, The Big Luke. She was pregnant, something was off, found out it’s cancer, lost her baby and is currently on her umpteenth hospital stay getting 9 days worth of treatment. With 2 other children at home. Now, we were out of touch and honestly not even that close in high school, but I feel for her, down to my heart, I wish she didn’t have to deal with it.

A friend I got to know through Little Kiss has a niece dealing with The Big Luke, too. She’s only 2. Spent her 2nd birthday in the hospital and they just had to shave her little head. I’ve never even met this girl or her family and it breaks my heart.

Makes my morning, my crazy ass morning, seem like a cake walk. At least my children are with me and my children are healthy.

Waterworks.

Another friend told me what a good mom I am, that my love for my children is present in every single thing I do.

More waterworks.

God, I’m thankful for this day. Now please let me get through it and help the Kiss family sleep tonight!

Caffeine Please.

I bought a lottery ticket this morning. I didn’t win. But I want to win. I want to win big. I want more than we need. I want to work when I want to, not because we need my salary. And lately it’s been HARD being a working mom! Ugh.

Little Kiss is sick again, he’s got another ear infection. Both ears, to be precise. He was a little warm on Sunday but slept kinda OK that night. Well on Monday morning, school called to say he had a fever, low grade, but can they give Tylenol. Hell yes, give it to him! Got another call in the afternoon saying “Little Kiss is just not feeling well. He’s not sleeping, really quiet. He’s just not your baby.” G.U.L.P. So I left early to get him and we saw the pedi. At least we know what it is and have meds to treat it, but it’s a bad one. He’s been up 2 or 3x a night, and just crying like crazy – NOT my baby at all. It breaks my heart.

Last night (or, um, this morning), I finally got him back to sleep at 5.30 am and shuffled my ass back to bed, only to find Big Kiss awake and saying he’s “all done sleeping.” Fantastic. But he was yawning when saying it. “Go back to sleep, it’s still night time.” “No, my hungry.”

OK – change his diaper, downstairs we go. Both of us looking like we need an injection of something illegal to bring us to life. Why didn’t he just go back to bed? He should have, for the morning went from bad to worse. I offered him oatmeal or an apple. I’m not a short order cook (or I’m working on not being one) and so he always gets a choice.

“Don’t want those.”

Fine. One last choice. (sucker) “A chocolate muffin?” (actually I win here, the “chocolate” muffin is a vita muffin and is loaded w/ vitamins and fiber and is super good for him). “Yeeesssss” (biggest wine ever). So he eats that while I make some coffee and then starts complaining because there are crumbs everywhere. What boy do you know who doesn’t like being dirty? Meet Big Kiss. I made him that way and am regretting it more and more every single day. So I went to clean it up and he swatted me and said “No MY DO IT.”

Um, swat me? “Penalty box. 3 minutes.”

It just went on and on and on, and he was actually crying this soft cry with real tears at one point, where I was afraid something was really wrong. But at the same time, the kid does not rule the roost.

I am the parent, I am in charge (rinse and repeat).

Mr. Kiss got some calm moments while I got dressed. I barely had my bra on when I heard Little Kiss wake up, but at least that put a smile on my face. He’s seriously the happiest baby. I finished dressing and went in to find him up on his elbows, talking to his paci and shooting me the BIGGEST grin when he saw me. His 2 little bottom teeth are pretty pronounced now and I love seeing them thru his drooly smile.

While I was getting him dressed I noticed that he can actually sit up now! Gah. I almost cried right there. Another milestone to mourn. But it’s fun to see him from a different point of view, you know? I mean, I can actually see his neck! I had to take a picture, in the middle of all the mayhem, I needed a pick me up. Then I held him in one arm while I did my make up with the other (I am super mom). He was mesmerized by the movements I made…the “O” mouth for the mascara, and the lemon pucker for the blush (that’s about all I wear). I hope my boy is mesmerized by me always.

More tantrums ensued from Big Kiss, “don’t wanna go to school” “don’t wanna wear my shoes” lots of “NO!”s and finally I just fireman carried him to his room and said “when you’re done, you let me know when you want to talk to me.” I HATE doing that. I hate it to my soul. But the kid gets so worked up he doesn’t even know what’s up his ass any more. He screamed, lowered to a whimper and at the first sign of silence, I asked if he was ready to talk to me and he was. Poor chap. He came downstairs all sniveling and blotchy faced. I just wanted to hug him all day long.

It’s a phase, right? A toddler phase? Please God, I hope it’s not a long phase.

We actually had an enjoyable ride to school. Little Kiss was fussing a little bit and Big Kiss reached over to touch his cheek and say “It’s OK buddy.” And then he said, “Momma, his teeth are growing!” Sigh. He does listen to me! We got to see the commuter train, which I hate stopping for but Big Kiss is like a kid in a candy store w/ trains. **Note to self, ride the train someday w/ Big Kiss. It’ll be an hour of pure heaven for him.** And drop off was totally better than our morning.

Doesn’t mean I’m over it. But I think we all did well and hopefully tonight will be better.

If I can keep those toothpicks propped in my eyelids long enough.. .

FU naptime??

Why oh why is my little boy not napping?? And I'm not even talking 'bout Little Kiss - BIG KISS has said FU to naps the past 2 weekends. *mad face*

But I still try - he's too young to give them up, no?

He's currently up in his room fighting it like mad. He's banging the wall w/ his feet, whining, jumping on the bed, coming to the door, opening and closing the door, running back to his bed.

ARGH!!

The sad thing is I know he's tired. When I go tell him "if I have to come up here one more time" (um, when did I become my mother???) he's all yawning and saying he's tired but he won't sleep. But as soon as I leave it's all "I'm all done, I sleep two hours!"

Nucking futs, I'm serious!

Side note, as I listen to him moan & groan, I'm enjoying a little Diet Dr. Pepper (just one) and some Pirate's Booty. That shit is good, puffy & salty - but the Booty "dust" is nasty. Like worse than cheetos nasty! It was all over my shelf (chest) and took 2 pumps o my bath & body works vanilla bean to clean off of my fingers.

Loving two...

I was e-mailed this and it's exactly how I was feeling when preggo w/ Little Kiss. It's such a great piece of writing...

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can't, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.

Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you. You each have your own supply.

I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

love, momma

Carpe Diem

Oh my heart.

I’m watching my DVR’d Oprah, the story of Whitney Cerak and Laura VanRyn and their mistaken identity a few years ago. I caught parts of the same story on Dateline last week. The story fascinates me for many reasons.

First and foremost, our family has been in the position to receive that dreaded phone call that a child, a sibling has been in a car accident. I can sympathize with the Ceraks, having to process that raw grief of a child being taken too soon. I can empathize with the sister, Carley, missing her sibling so deeply.

Then there's the VanRyn family – who had to delay their grief. They prayed and prayed over a beautiful young woman to get better, make it through - only to be told weeks later that she wasn’t even their daughter. Gulp.

The most fascinating aspect, though, is that Whitney is in fact alive and she has been able to “witness” her own funeral. It amazes me. I’ve never heard a similar story!

Which then led me to wonder, have I lived my life in such a way that my funeral would be beautiful? Would they throw a party with balloons and dance and sing like I’ve asked, or would they all wear black and be subdued because it’s “what you do.” Would they say that I was a good mother? Would they say that I was a loving, caring, wife, even though I had enough piss & vinegar in me to keep the best of them on their toes? Would they say that I was a respectful daughter? A kind and loving sister? A loyal and entertaining friend? It sounds morbid, very morbid.

But I don’t want to life my life wondering.

I want to live my life to be an example to others, especially my boys. I want to live my life in the present and not worry about the “what-ifs.” Because those “what ifs” can consume a person, to be sure. I have to believe that there is a greater plan for me. So worrying about things beyond my control is pointless.

Sigh. The best part of these families sharing their story is that it made me remember my brother and others who have gone before me.

It also served as a reminder of our family motto, Carpe Diem!

Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker

My favorite commercial...

Wife says: You son of a biscuit eating bulldog

Husband says: What the french toast

Wife says: Did you think I would not find about your little doo doo head cootie queen

Mistress says: Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker

Wife says : Pickle you QomQuat

Husband says: Your overreacting

Wife says: No, Bill over reacting was when I put your convertible into a wood chipper

Stinky Mc Stink face

Mistress says : YouHoboken

Blonde girl says : Fabulous New Orbit rasberry mint cleans another dirty mouth, For a good clean feeling, no matter what

(may have to turn off For The Ears below first..)

Don't schmear me, Momma!

Ah, it’s hump day. Bliss.

Mr. Kiss had a minor surgical procedure done yesterday, so I took the day off to run “ervands” (Big Kiss word) in the morning and then played nursemaid in the afternoon.

Took the kiddies to school – it was picture day and I put them in matching Hawaiian shirts. They’re clearly too young to talk back (much) and I fully intend to continue to embarrass them until they can tell me to Go To Hell. Oh, and all the teachers loved it (since they usually look like little cut-outs from the j crew catalog, even tho it’s targhay or TJ Maxx clothes) – I can not wait to see the outcome!

Then I had my own labwork done, had lunch w/ a girlie friend and kept movin on down my list. I tried to sell my infant car seat to a consignment shop, but they don’t take them if they’re more than 3 yrs old. The law is 5, but they want any buyer to “get plenty of use” out of it. Hey, I get it, but who the F is going to use an infant carseat for 2 years? I’ll just put it on craigslist. The point of that, tho, is that Little Kiss has reached yet another milestone in “growing” and I’m mourning his infancy. I know in my heart he’s my last and I’m OK with that, but I just wish I could bottle him up.

He really is the sweetest little baby. We go places and with Hurricane Big Kiss running around, Little Kiss just chills, taking it all in. He’s very laid back. He’s very happy. He sleeps really well (when those damn teeth aren’t keeping him up). He talks and talks to his toes. His face lights up when I walk into the room. When Mr. Kiss talks, Little Kiss’ eyes just stare in amazement at his daddy. He is 7 months already and I miss his baby-hood.

This morning I needed to remind myself of the cutie patootie moments as we had another Code Brown. It always happens at the most opportunistic time, no? Mr. Kiss has today off and needed to lay low – no lifting, etc. so morning time was up to me. Big Kiss had been fed and was watching cartoons. Little Kiss had been fed and was chillin in the saucer. World’s fastest shower for Momma! (Have to admit getting ready in the morning is so easy w/ my sassy new do).

So I’m just about ready to go and Little Kiss is fussin, which can only mean he’s tired (nope), hungry (nope) or shitty. BINGO! Up his back, out the legs, everywhere! I had to carry him like “men who know nothing about babies” carry babies, KWIM?

Arms out straight, legs a dangling.

Life and times of a working mother trying to start her day. I was using wipes like there’s no tomorrow and praying that I can get the shitty onsie off of him without schmearing him. Because you know that the blow outs only occur in a onsie – never a simple button shirt that would come of oh so easy. I had to cut one off of Big Kiss once, good times, really.

We recovered, everyone clean and hands washed (a lot) and Hi Ho, Hi Ho, off to work I go.

Well, lunch time for me. Counting the minutes till I can see my little boyzz (OK, and the big boy, too).