Carpe Diem

Oh my heart.

I’m watching my DVR’d Oprah, the story of Whitney Cerak and Laura VanRyn and their mistaken identity a few years ago. I caught parts of the same story on Dateline last week. The story fascinates me for many reasons.

First and foremost, our family has been in the position to receive that dreaded phone call that a child, a sibling has been in a car accident. I can sympathize with the Ceraks, having to process that raw grief of a child being taken too soon. I can empathize with the sister, Carley, missing her sibling so deeply.

Then there's the VanRyn family – who had to delay their grief. They prayed and prayed over a beautiful young woman to get better, make it through - only to be told weeks later that she wasn’t even their daughter. Gulp.

The most fascinating aspect, though, is that Whitney is in fact alive and she has been able to “witness” her own funeral. It amazes me. I’ve never heard a similar story!

Which then led me to wonder, have I lived my life in such a way that my funeral would be beautiful? Would they throw a party with balloons and dance and sing like I’ve asked, or would they all wear black and be subdued because it’s “what you do.” Would they say that I was a good mother? Would they say that I was a loving, caring, wife, even though I had enough piss & vinegar in me to keep the best of them on their toes? Would they say that I was a respectful daughter? A kind and loving sister? A loyal and entertaining friend? It sounds morbid, very morbid.

But I don’t want to life my life wondering.

I want to live my life to be an example to others, especially my boys. I want to live my life in the present and not worry about the “what-ifs.” Because those “what ifs” can consume a person, to be sure. I have to believe that there is a greater plan for me. So worrying about things beyond my control is pointless.

Sigh. The best part of these families sharing their story is that it made me remember my brother and others who have gone before me.

It also served as a reminder of our family motto, Carpe Diem!