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Momma Kiss: August 2009

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thinning out the flock

I was looking a for a back to school gift for my nephew who just started High School. Even tho his mom, my sister, is a total See You Next Tuesday, I love the kid and want to send him something.


Apparently my ADD kicked in real quick and I now must have these.

Dieting With Jesus… because that ass needs a miracle! The Lord is our shepherd and he's thinning out the flock.

* Your body is a temple. Fill it with salad.
* Work those buns anywhere.
* Fat jeans or skinny jeans? You decide.
* Omega-3 fatty acids are a blessing for that tummy.

I frikkin love Perpetual Kid.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

If Only...

Today, I woke up at the leisurely hour of 8.30.

I removed my sleep mask, used the remote to turn off the fan and turned on the Today Show – must check the weather to see if it’ll be warm enough to sit by the pool.

Without having to ask, my snickerdoodle coffee with fat free coffee mate suddenly appears. Along with a fried egg white, flax and oat bread and a bowl of strawberries. There’s also a decanter of coffee on the tray so that I can refill if I desire.

I enjoy my breakfast and catch up on last night’s shows – Weeds and Nurse Jackie. It’s so relaxing to watch other people’s fucked up lives.

I draw a bubble bath and read – mimosa on the side table.

Al told me it would indeed be 85 and clear today, so at about 11, I realized it was time to head on outside.

I slip out of my fluffy robe and into my bikini, because of course I’m slim, with non-saggy boobs. Must apply sunscreen – don’t want to look *gasp* old and wrinkly.

Lunch was poolside – grilled chicken and vegetables, with sparkling water and a glass of prosecco, of course.

I finish reading my second book of the week and take a nap.

It’s now 4pm and I must decide how and with whom to spend my evening!

What a glorious life!

HeyZooChristo, if only – instead?

Me and my saggy-fun-bags were dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour of 5.30am by a small but persistent and chipper child asking for Juice. About a million times. I made my own damn coffee, got the kids dressed and ready for daycare and ate a stale pop-tart on the way to WORK. Also? I answered every fucking question imaginable from every angle imaginable at work today. I think I remember seeing my husband at some point this morning – may have even kissed him goodbye – but was too exhausted to remember.

Ain’t life grand?


Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday, I'm in Love

It is indeed Friday. And I'm in love. Don't go all "schmoopy" on my ass, there's a lot I have to be thankful for - and having a family and friends who love me are tops right now.

So this week has been nutty. Work's been crazier than a hobo searching for heroin and I decided to work "from home" today. It actually worked for a few hours - have to say I was quite proud of myself. I scheduled a meeting from 10.30 to 3 - which was convenient in that I met my husband for lunch and folded some laundry.

Don't tell anyone I was pool side while doing both.

Hey - my shit gets DONE at work and at home, who says it has to be between 9 and 5?

I'm doing pretty good on the whole 'social' drinking thing. I'm pretty sure I detoxed for 7 days - no lie - I've had exactly one beer w/ a friend and plan to have a nice glass o' pinot w/ my man tonight.

My body feels pretty good and my mind is very happy with me.

With that, I'm SO off the computer.

Be nice to me while I'm away.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Roll out the wagon?

Have y'all heard about Diane Schuler? From NY, who was apparently an alcoholic, but no one knew about it? And she drove drunk and killed 8, including herself? Well - if not - and you are interested, google or bing it, horrifying story.

And it's made me reflect on some things. Apparently others are as well.

I recently came across this article that I really really enjoyed reading NYTimes: Drinking in the land of Mommy Blogdom

The author is Stephanie and she blogs at babyonbored.

The article has a lot of humor, hits on some points that are familiar to me (play dates or momma's night out - on the sauce!), and was thought provoking.

Comments were closed - but this last one sort of hit home. Real hard. Like w/ a sledge hammer.

"When it comes to booze, you don't have to "ride the elevator all the way to the bottom floor" to get off. Its a very personal decision..she is fortunate to still have her health and family in place. Rest assured, life is just as amusing without being placated by cocktails.. you can remember a whole lot more sans dry mouth, headache, and clinking garbage bags."

I'm not saying I've quit. But I'm reassessing. I come from bad genes in this department, and have been super-conscious of potential issues for as long as I can remember.

I clearly have 2 options. I can quit - like flat out quit - and go to AA and all that it entails. I'm no stranger to that process and what it's like to live with "A Friend of Bill."

Or I can try to enjoy a drink or two, here and there, like I used to. Socially. To enjoy with my husband or a girlfriend. And to hopefully show my children what responsible drinking is.

I'm choosing option 2, for now. We'll see how it goes.

(for the record, that was scary)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Here, have a heart

I figured I'd do a lil re-post to get me thru today. It's going to be a long one, and this totally cheers me up :)
Originally posted in October, 2008

I wasn't even going to share this.

But I am so overcome with love, I can't keep it to myself.

Yesterday, I came outside after a potty break and Big Kiss said "Look Momma, I give a heart for you!"

And look.

All by his little 3 year old self...

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Well. Wow. I've had a rough week. Started w/ that GAWD-Damn skunk incident and it just got progressively worse.

My mother, my dear sweet tuff as nails mother, is dealing with pain. Unimaginable chronic pain. She has Rheumatoid Arthritis. Had a major flare up and was in pain. She wasn't eating or drinking, could barely walk, couldn't sleep.

And she's so far away from me and I can't be there to help her. It breaks my heart and rips at my gut and I just keep calling her and doing the best I can do from so far away.

I've also got some dark demons I'm fighting. It's not easy at all. They're new. Actually, no they're not, they have been lurking for a long time, and I just need to figure some things out.

How's that for a super fun upbeat post? Well shit, you can't always have the fun MK, now can ya?

So help a mutha out and say a lil prayer for GrammaKiss and how 'bout one for me while you're at it. Lord knows I can use it.

Monday, August 10, 2009


I have serious catching up to do.

Usually I wouldn't blog till I'm ready to write about it, and, well - I'm not yet - but I wanted to get rid of that Lil Note.

So there.

I will leave you with this.

Sunday was pretty wretched in our house. For me mainly, but it started with a hangover from hell, guilts from drinking too much, couldn't find my family, found them, my child who is not yet 2 rode his big brother's hot wheels down the drive way and crashed into the shed and received an egg that Dr. Seuss could write about, my Big Kiss whined all. day. long, both boys were in bed - sawing logs - by 6.30 pm, and I was awoken at 1am by my dog barking. Let him out to pee - he promptly got sprayed by a skunk.

THAT was the most disgusting experience of my entire fucking life.

He got it right in the kisser, I can just see the ding dong all "hey, what's this?" and gets hit by Peppy LePew.

So at 1am we're making concoctions to bathe the dog, Fabreezing the shit out of every room, running fans.

My house reeks.

I reek.

Oh, and I'm sure the house is going to get worse - as it's about to be 93 degrees and 150% humidity today.

(p.s. we didn't have tomato juice, so we used a mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and dish soap. I've also heard about using Douche. Seriously. I think the dog will be clean - my house, on the other hand, needs help).

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Just a lil note...

More later...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Kisswold Family Vaca

Yowza. It's been a cah-razy Monday already.

I should have done a re-post while I was away, but well, I was AWAY! Heh.

Took the whole fam damily on a vacation. This is a big deal, as we've never done it. We've traveled w/ the kids - to visit other family, etc. But never on a "pack the wagon and let's explore and sleep in hotels" vacation.

We visited Lake Placid and Lake George NY. The kids loved it. Me & the Mr. (aka Clark & Ellen KISSwold) loved it. I only took a couple of my Vitamin X...all in all, a good time.

Things I learned.

~My children are IMPATIENT little fuckers. No joke - we'd order breakfast, the server would walk away, and Big Kiss would say "this is taking so long" "I want my dippers" "Where's my milk."

Literally - she had JUST walked away!

~Hotel mornings w/ early risers pretty much suck. As in donkey balls. No matter what time those turds went to bed, they were up wicked early and looking for shit to do. Not so easy when piled into a room w/ no toys, etc. So we did lots of visiting the hotel lobby, walking around (before the damn coffee shop was even open!) and even ventured out to a breakfast at HoJos. Again - see above re: impatience.

~Mr. Kiss and I could never EVER be on the Amazing Race together. He sucks at directions and map reading. And has a tad bit of impatience himself.

~Olympic ski jumpers are incredibly muscular. And sort of insane, I think.

~My 4 year old would swim any where any time, hot or cold, pool or lake.

~Same 4 year old apparently likes to drop trou any where, any time.

~Almost 2 year old can be scraped, gouged and bruised about 37 times and not be phased. Also, won't wear bandaids. Also, his toe nails are fucking daggers.

~Even in 'shackles' I am hawt. (What the F do you call this thing?)

~Six Flags theme parks attract very very interesting clientele. Very very large people who apparently don't mind dressing scantily. Or being wasted in public (at 11am). Or running past you to get in line for a ride. Seriously. It was people watching heaven.

~Ending a vacation on a Saturday was the PERFECT solution. We needed Sunday to recover. Do laundry, grocery shop, watch T.V. :)

Sigh. Over and out. Can't wait for next year!