Pimp My Ride

Let's take a trip down Memory Lane...

The Price is Right.

I used to tape the show in college. Like on a VHS tape, where you had to actually physically hit record every time you wanted to tape a show.

And I could beat those old ladies and crazy gay men at every guessing game there was. The ones w/ luck? Like Plinko? Well that's just pure entertainment.

Anyway - so recently I was given a gift and felt all *Rod Roddy is yelling my name!*

"MommaKiss, Come on DOWN!"

I had to bet on a washer / dryer combo and was within $1 and then?

And then? "It's a NEW CAR!!!!"

That's right. 

Mr. Kiss.

He pretty much bought me a car for Christmas. No bow, but he did spend 6 hours at the dealership to "sign & drive"  (a gift in itself, as I'd have gone postal being there that long).

I'll be putting out for weeks for this gift, but it's worth it. 

So if you see a hottie crusin' around town in her new Ford Edge, please wave! You may just get a sunglass tilt and a wink.

Happy ChrisMahKuhZaa!

Everyone go out, get a pole, air your grievances* and have a good holiday, now, y'hear!  

*The celebration of Festivus begins with the "Airing of Grievances", which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served. It consists of lashing out at others and the world about how one has been disappointed in the past year.

Burning Questions

What is Kwanza all about? 

I may seem really ignorant but I want someone to tell me, someone real, you know, like not The Google or Wiki. 

I spent time with my very bestest friend this past weekend, and her kids got to a Montessori school (which I'm all for - think it's an amazing concept) and I was able to attend their "Winter Concert."

Not Holiday Concert, not Music Special.

Winter Concert.

Where they sang about Christmas, Kwanza and Hanukka.

Oh - there's another one...how do you spell Hanukka? Hannuka? Hanuka? Chaunaka? Not even Adam Sandler's helping me out on this one!

I'm truly curious about these things because even though we're Christian and we send cards that say Merry Christmas - I want my kids to know that not everyone else believes in Christ or Baby Jesus, etc. And if I can't teach them, they're gonna learn on the playground, and we all know how that can turn out *learn to french kiss, anyone?*

These are a few of my favorite things...

I'm totes in the Christmas spirit this year. It's hit me like a mack truck and I am just going with it.

Sing along with me, will you? "Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens..." - Oh hell to the NO - I'm NOT a cat person. But, the whole "favorite things" are making me smile. 

I give you...

Momma Kiss' favorite Christmas Decorations!

This is taken from my front entry way. Actually Big Kiss took it, just this evening.  Our living room has this huge open ceiling that provides for a lot of light and living. We LIVE in our living room. No plastic on the Kiss Hizza couches.  So the ornaments hanging from the upstairs ceiling and the lights on the banister up and around the look-over make me mega happy. Also? Do ya see that little mistle toe? Do ya? It's actually a kissing ball - and gets a lot of action if I do say so myself.

My very first 'ornament' received upon moving to Boston. It was some decor for my cubicle, as I was part of the zoo called Public Accounting...and tho we were rarely in the office, when I was - it was nice to see this lil plush poinsettia at my desk.

This lil' beauty was given to me by my mother in law. The first Christmas "out East" was my first in 26 years that I wasn't with my mom. By the way, I was 26. So yah, my first EVER. And my future in-laws really made me feel welcome. They had all sorts of presents for me and even a stocking. Hello loved! Plus? She sorta looks like me - so yah, it's a keeper.

Moving right along, yes, this is a New York Yankee's ornament. Get over it. I met Mr. Kiss at a Yankee game. So it's a treasure. 

I now present the crystal tree that hangs on my real tree! Given to me by a dear dear friend about 8 years ago. It's sparkly and catches every single little light.

It was Christmas of 2006. I had an 18 month old cherub. We dumped him off with Gram & Gramps and went to NYC for the weekend. Mr. Kiss surprised me with tickets to see A Christmas at Rockefeller Center (or whatever the Eff it's called - the Rockette's danced). Naturally, I had to buy this totally overpriced ornament, you know, for posterity's sake.

Got this the first year we owned a home. Not a 450 sq foot condo...a HOME!

My children made this last week. A paper chain. From post-it notes. Lovely.

Can you see how cute that little shit is? That's Big Kiss. When he was 5 mos old. Dressed as Santa. He couldn't even sit up, such a weeble.  My hands were behind the curtain holding his fat ass up. I guess he was meant to be Santa that year.

Well Eff Me, you can't really see it. I may need to find another version of the picture.

Know what is NOT one of my favorite things?

One string of lights went out on my tree. ONE. In the fucking middle. Well actually near the bottom. I'm so pissed, I'm tempted to just leave it as is - you know - and we shall say it was The Christmas of the Retarded Half-Lit Tree.*

*At least we know Momma was lit when she tried to post this goddam thing.

p.s. Did you know how bad Egg Nog is for you? Especially the Sugar Cookie Egg Nog type? Really bad. Lots of calories and fat and sugar and all that yummy delicious goodness. Especially bad for you when you spike it.  Because who Doesn't spike their egg nog?

p.p.s. If you can't tell where the lights are out, then you're clearly not as Christmas Tree Light Decorating obsessed as I am and we could never ever be best friends. The End.

Good.

Monday Monday Monday....
where does the weekend go? Seriously. And I had a GREAT weekend. 


Felt the need to report in, tho (to whom? I'm not sure) that I've been in SUCH a giving mood this year. I'm usually excited to make my lists and buy for the family, kids of friends, etc. but it's different this year.  My family has what they need. My friend's kids have what they need (and more).  


I mean *giving* as in to those who don't have as much as I do. Not "less fortunate" just "less than" I. Because I have a lot. I'm thankful for that. I have a great job w/ a great salary, and so does Mr. Kiss.  There are give and take dilemmas w/ that situation - the Dual Income TWO Kid's kinda family, but it's our choice and we're making it work. 


For the most part ;) 


But many people we actually know are not in the same situation. Only 1 parent works, or someone had a new baby, or someone was laid off or someone's mom or sister is sick. 


So I've been getting as many gifts as I can for those folks - for the GIVING - this year. The angel tree, the toys for tots, the knitting squares for Warm Up America (previous post, #19). 


And it feels pretty damn good. 


Now if only I could also cure cancer and create a skinny pill, all would be well...

Do Good. You know you can.

I finally read a few blogs (just in google reader - i'm bad!) - but am SO HAPPY I found this one written by Jenny Mac- and it's 31 days of Giving Back. 


You can do it.  I bet if even just ONE person does ONE thing - it'll make a difference.




31 Days of Goodness


FREE GOODNESS:

1. Get involved. A super easy website: http://www.dosomething.org can help you find service projects in your zip code. They also encourage you to engage your teenage family members to get involved in philanthropy. Their aim is to inspire the next generation of “doers”. You can also find local events/charities/nonprofits to support at www.dogoodchannel.com


2. Mentor/coach/tutor a future John Grisham, Louisa May Alcott, or Stephenie Meyer at http://826national.org/ which is 7 nonprofits working to celebrate and advance creative writing in students age 16-18.


3. Go to your book case and clean it out. Instead of donating to the library, take those books to a local literacy program.


4. You can also join http://www.booksforsoldiers.com for free and send them to troops.


5. Give blood. To find a local blood bank: www.givelife.org


6. Send a holiday card for FREE to a soldier abroad through a Xerox sponsored program www.letssaythanks.com

7. Save all of your magazines from the month and donate them to a local women’s shelter.


8. Call a local retirement community and schedule a visit. You can spend an hour or two calling bingo. We have done it and it is a total hoot. One of the elderly ladies won and yelled “OH SWEET JESUS”. I crack up now thinking about it. (You can also take your sassy OPI or MAC nail polish instead and do some fun manicures. )


9. You can donate baby blankets, stuffed animals, and children’s books to http://projectnightnight.com/ which helps homeless children.


10. Donate your old cell phones to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Go to www.ncadv.org and look under Take Action and then Donate.


11. Donate shoes (you know you have more than you can ever wear!) to www.shareyoursoles.org


12. Mentor an at-risk teen online at http://icouldbe.org


13. Become an online reading mentor and penpal for kids in 3rd – 5th grade at www.in2books.com


14. Volunteer at a National Park. www.nps.gov


15. Donate your unused airline rewards miles to Salvation Army, Make A Wish, or others.


16. Play www.freerice.com and every correct vocab word you identify, 10 grains of rice are donated to the UN World Food Program


17. You can also go to www.freekibble.com and for every answer, you send 10 pieces of dog food to an animal shelter in need


18. Donate gift cards you won’t use to www.plasticjungle.com


19. If you knit, you can send squares to www.warmupamerica.org. The squares will be knit into afghans and donated to battered women’s shelters.


20. Sign up to volunteer at www.keenusa.org and become a one on one volunteer to teach kids with disabilities about noncompetitive sports.




SMALL DONATION RELATED GOODNESS


21. Every dollar donated to www.roomtoread.org promotes children’s literacy.


22. Donate a minimum of $10.00 to www.pajamaprogram.org which provides jammies and books for kids in orphanages, group homes, and shelters.


23. Buy some gourmet bean dips, salsa mixes, or spice rubs (among other things) from www.womensbeanproject.com which provides jobs and job training to homeless women. And they just celebrated their 20th anniversary.


24. Lend $25.00 to www.kiva.org which takes your loan and helps woman all over the world start businesses. You can choose your cause and the money will be paid back.


25. Give $25 to Puppies Behind Bars: a program teaching inmates how to train puppies to be service animals.


26. Buy beautiful handmade jewelry from http://www.madebysurvivors.com/ which is combating human slavery and trafficking by providing training, job skills, and life skills to women freed from sex slavery.


27. A $35 donation to Sleeping Children Around the World www.scaw.org provides a BedKit that consists of a mat or mattress, pillow, sheet, blanket, mosquito net (if applicable), clothes outfit, towel and school supplies for a needy child.


28. Give a $35 Gift of Hope to women and children rescued from Sex Slavery and Sex Trafficking at www.sharedhope.org.


29. $35 dollar will also feed a needy child for one month with Share Our Strength at www.strength.org


30. Make an online donation to www.doctorswithoutborders.org which provides aid in almost 60 countries to people suffering from abuse, neglect, famine, malnutrition, lack of health care and natural disasters. $35 will provide 35 vaccines.


31. And finally, because there are so many people on this Earth without clean and safe drinking water, you can donate $20 to http://www.charitywater.org/ and give one person drinking water for 20 years.




Have a beautiful December!