Just the facts, ma'am.

I was brushing my teeth to avoid eating a snickers bar and whilst doing so, some random shiznit popped into my head. So I'm sharing - Lil Known Facts about Momma Kiss.

I brush my teeth in the shower. And I brush when I pee, too. But I don’t pee in the shower.

I hate being called Ma'am. "Miss", "Mrs." "Hey dipshit" - all better than Ma'am.

I love French fries (preferably McDonald’s) dipped in ice cream.

My middle name used to be Arlene. Named after my mom’s sister, who’s also my Godmother. I hated it because she is miserable and had no spiritual influence on me. I changed it when I got married (now my maiden name graces the middle).

I have short, fat thumbs that look like big toes.

I am fiercely stubborn.

My absolute favorite part of my body is my feet.

I’m scared shitless of raising my kids wrong.

I’m positive my mother felt the same and hey, she didn’t totally screw me up.

My favorite piece of unsolicited advice when pregnant: “Pray for a boy. With a boy, you worry about one dick. With a girl, you worry about thousands of dicks.”

I love baking.

I obviously also love eating the things I bake.

I sort of regret cutting my hair short. I like the ease of it. I get lots of compliments on it. But my long hair was “me” for so long. And I feel like Mr. Kiss thinks I got a “mom cut.” It’ll grow back, but I’m a lil insecure these days.

I have not had a real conversation with my sister in 2 years.

In the past 2 years, I have added a zillion real conversations with my 3 older brothers.

I love the smell of my freshly bathed baby.

I also love the sunscreen and sweat smell of my 3 year old – means he played hard that day!

I was a “flag girl” in a marching band when I was 9. My mom was the bass drummer. We toured the Midwest for 2 summers and even got to march at Six Flags!

I love being blond, but dayum, I’m going to have to start paying for this color soon.

I skipped a year between high school and college, lived in Montana and worked for a travel agency, Dairy Queen and Jiffy Lube. All at the same time.

When my little brother died in a car accident, I was on winter break and did not tell my mother where I was staying. It took her 12 hours to track me down. I was the last to contact but the first one home.

I’m starting to love Go Diego Go (shhhh).

My ebay identity was stolen once and I became a “seller” of motorcycles and cars, asking the purchaser to send money, via Western Union, to South Africa. That was fun.

I would get a massage every single day if I could afford it.

I’m obsessed with paper products. Planning my wedding (making all invites, etc.) was like a paper orgy for me. There’s a store that enables me – The Paper Source. HEH-ven!

I love doing laundry. I hate folding said laundry.

Since work shut down my IM, I hit the “check mail” button about 239487987 times an hour.

I don’t always wash my hands after changing a diaper.

I always wanted to be a social studies teacher. I’ve even checked into going back to school to get certified.

The first time I touched the ocean I was 24 years old.

I hate salt water.

I have been married for 2,076 days.

I have been a mother for 1,106 of those days.

I love camping. Did a 10 day east coast trip w/ a girlie friend once – drove from Boston to the Outer Banks. And a family reunion at a campground when 34 weeks (and insanely huge) pregnant.

I would eat cereal for every meal if I could.

It amazes me that I make over 50 bucks an hour and don’t ever feel guilty about taking a long lunch.

Speaking of earning that paycheck, back at it.