Back to life, back to reality…

I call bullshit.

I don’t want to be back to reality. Alas, it happens. I’m doing highlights of my past week, how’s that for fun?

Friday night we had The Mother of all Birthday Parties for my 6 year old. We ended up with 21 kids. Most parents dropped off. It was I.N.S.A.N.E. With a capital Holy Fuck. In the end, we escaped without injury, my child received gifts galore and everyone had a blast. The kids, that is. Jury’s still out for Mr. Kiss and I.

Saturday – off to Savannah with my girl A. In bullet form –

• She knew someone on the flight crew, which warranted free everything. Including a bottle of wine to go.
• The Westin spa and resort in Savannah is mofo Huge. And luxurious. With the ‘heavenly’ beds.
  
• Sunday morning, on our way across the river, the temp gauge near the water ferry read 100.2. I took a picture just before that at 100.0 I don’t ‘deal’ with that kind of wet heat very well.
  
• Which lead us to Wet Willies. And Naked Willies. That’s all.
• Paula Deen’s restaurant Lady & Sons? Highly overrated. I felt like my forehead was sweating butter by the time we left. Alligator Soul, on the other hand, divine. I even ate alligator.
  
• If you don’t reapply sunblock every 2.2 seconds, you may get a sunburn. On only half of your ass. There are pictures. They will not be shown.
• Cab drivers in Savannah are, um, sketchy. Mine was missing teeth and was barefoot. And he belched. And didn’t say ‘skuze me. HeebieJeebies.
• I do not like Irish Car Bombs. But I can drink one to prove a point.
  
• I gained a gay husband and he’s divine. I also learned of an iphone app called Grindr [no E]. Look it up.
  
• 60-ish year old, slightly overweight women should not wear gauzy-see-thru white tops. Especially without a bra. There were nipples a flyin’!
• A is a machine. That girl can dance and party like nobody’s business. Tuesday night I had to leave her in the bar so I could get a few hours of sleep before my flight on Wednesday. She’s still there, conferencing it up. In Georgia, that is. I’m not sure if she’s still in the bar or not. It could happen.
• Coming home to temps hotter than Africa was pretty painful. Our AC is still broken. It’s going to be a breezy 100-ish today. And the kid’s kindy school? No AC. Or fans even. I’m tempted to go break him out and bring him to work, where I have a heater on at my desk.

Probably won’t happen, though – I have to meet a friend for lunch.

Selfish bitch, ain’t I?