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Momma Kiss: FFO 1-21

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, January 21, 2011

FFO 1-21

Aren't you glad you got my "Things that don't suck" yesterday? I know. I can be shiny happy people sometimes.

Here's some things that DO suck. And I intend to flip them off - so that maybe? I can enjoy my weekend...I'm leaving the shit here, in words, so that I can move along, lil' doggie.

Brand new contacts that go all hay-wire in my overtied eyes? Flip Off.

Back problems. Mr. Kiss, not me. He's had a bad back for ages. The dude is 6'4" and has been an athlete since he can remember. Sore, tight back. Well this past summer, he broke his ankle like a dumb ass, jumping into our pool. That caused him to stay off the left foot and while it was healing, he totally fucked up his gait. So this Fall, he was waking up with the worst pain ever. Like make a grown man cry pain. He had an MRI and was given 800's of ibuprofen and muscle relaxers (which do nothing for him, I get the leftovers!) MRI reading: Primary care says it's a bulging disk. More drugs. Neurosurgeon? Oh No. It's not just bulging. Nope. A piece of a disk has BROKEN off and is pressing on a nerve. Fucking AYE, no wonder he's been in pain. I really thought he's just been being a big baby. Treatment is a steroid shot, if that doesn't work, surgery. Awesome. Not. Fuck Off Potential Back Surgery.

Decisions that need to be made. I'm already running around my life like a two headed sesame street character. I don't need no more issues, for real! So flip off, crazy busy life.

My nails? For being so perfectly healthy that you grow too fast? Seriously fuck right off. I mean, it makes for a gorgeous Tall Mann salute, but it's expensive to update these nails every 2 weeks instead of 3.

Wasn't that lame? I

Join in, and link up. If you link a non-Friday Flip Off-link, I'm kicking your ass. You've been warned.

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Blogger Erin said...

I HATE decisions...big important stuff like "pizza or chinese" and "Coach Pitch or T-ball"

I love love love "blow a donkey" - a phrase I myself have used rather liberally.

Things that blow a donkey for me...not getting my FUCKING 2-hour delay phone call until AFTER my shower!!!! :) Happy Friday:)

1/21/11, 5:50 AM  
Anonymous Emily said...

I really enjoyed your list yesterday. You always make me smile. DW has some rods and pins in several places of his legs and ankles. (Multiple accidents - rock climbing, motor cycle racing, etc.) The mornings are the worst for him. We joke about him needing a wheelchair by the time he is 40 (this year!) but we know it really is no laughing matter to be in that much pain every morning. Good luck!

1/21/11, 7:43 AM  
Blogger John said...

As someone who gets steroid injections regularly for an asshole joint, Mr Kiss has my sympathies. And I hope that he has better luck than I've had. Yeowch.

I'm flipping off the calendar and the clock today. Some shit is moving way too fast. Some stuff is moving way too slow. And I swear, if my daughter doesn't stop trying to walk, I'm going to flip her off, too.

1/21/11, 8:00 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Ack - poor Mr. Kiss! Sending him happy, painfree thoughts!

1/21/11, 9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor Mr. Kiss indeed. I think you can get a pass for thinking he was being a big baby b/c we dudes become 3 years old whenever we have pain or a sickness.

1/21/11, 10:33 AM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

I emailed you about Mr.K...
But I totally agree with fucking off with nails. I am so not good at shaping them with a nail file. I'm like nail file challenged.

1/21/11, 1:40 PM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

Let me know if the back pain causes your husband to underperform.

I'm here for you.

1/21/11, 1:46 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

dude. My dad had back surgery last year. It's no joke. That really sucks - I hope the shots work!

I really kind of hate your nails by the way. Mine are terrible.

1/21/11, 1:53 PM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

Ugh, Back pain can totally suck it. Poor Mr. K =(

My nails are in the constant breakage phase of their life.. I'm ready to clip 'em all off. F*ing winter messes with me in the worst way.

Heh @ Blow a donkey.. one of my guys here says "go blow a goat" almost passed out the first time I heard him say it, lol.

1/21/11, 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dad had that surgery a couple of months ago for the same problem. I hope the steroid shot works.

1/21/11, 4:19 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Quit riding Mr. Kiss so hard. Duh.

1/21/11, 6:13 PM  
Anonymous Mama P said...

LOL @Poppy!

I'll second the flipping of crazy busy life and decisions. I'd like to flip that all off. It stresses me the fuck out.

ps. I'm gonna add in a flip to myself, because I have written a FFO post in a awhile, and with every intention to do it, I never get it done!

1/21/11, 7:10 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Yup, flipping off me for dropping the ball, AGAIN!

Loving on Poppy and GoPopGo right now...why can't more men admit they become toddlers? Acknowledging the problem is the first step to finding a solution, ya big babies! But prayers and compassion for you and Mr.K. That's gotta totally cramp your um style.

And WTF nails? The clackity clack of the keyboard is killing me and yes, I'm nail file challenged as well.

Oh, and gentle flip off to the tab dancing baby in my belly.
I have to pee.

1/21/11, 8:20 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

Flip off: husbands missing the last train home and being mad at you for it.

I heard that's a royal pain.

Hope things slow down for you soon.

1/21/11, 9:14 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I feel so bad for your husband! That's ridonkulous!

1/22/11, 7:30 AM  
Blogger tulpen said...

Back surgery would suck balls.

And? Nails? I've never had mine done. Ever.

1/22/11, 8:55 AM  
Blogger alicia said...

I think it's the weather. My back hurts too. haven't been over in a while, but wanted you to know that your last couple comments made me laugh my butt off. Thanks for being you.

1/22/11, 6:57 PM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

LASIK. Best. Thing. Ever.

1/22/11, 8:09 PM  
Blogger Daffy said...

I hope the steriod shot works too. Surgery is SO NOT cool. EVER. AT ALL. IT SUCKS. BIG HAIRY DONKEY BALLS

Sorry...didn't mean to yell.

I'm gonna flip off bills and being financially responsible instead of doing what I really want and buying a flat screen tv for my bedroom.

1/23/11, 12:09 AM  
Anonymous Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him said...

You need to inject some of your nail enamel or whatever the hell constitutes a nail into Mr.'s disks. You Tube the "man cold' - it's hilarious.

1/24/11, 2:50 PM  

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