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Momma Kiss: I went for a walk

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Monday, March 7, 2011

I went for a walk

1, 2, 3, 4; 1, 2, 3, 4


It's Sunday morning, it's early, this is nice and peaceful.  I'll have my exercise done early. Perfect.


5, 6, 7, 8; 5, 6, 7, 8


I wonder if anyone else counts their steps as they walk? Does that make me really weird? I mean, I'm clearly not going to be able to count every step. I just like to walk to a 'count.'


"Oh Man is a giddy thing!"


That squirrel better not fucking come near me, I'll kick his ass.  Oh, oh no, that car almost crushed him! Well, serves him right.  What kind of stupid animal runs in the middle of the road anyway?  Squirrels. At least it wasn't a skunk. I hate skunks. Especially if the dog is around. Oh, God, I think I left the fence door open. If they let him out, he'll go cruising the 'hood again. He'll probably come to find me. That damn dog. 

1, 2, 3, 4; 1, 2, 3, 4


"You're gonna wish you, never had met me…Tears are gonna fall, Rolling in the deep!"  The entire Adele album would be a kick ass walking partner. Yep. Mmmm. Hmmm.  "You're gonna wish you Never had met me!"  I wonder if anyone can hear me singing. I'm not singing that loud, right? Just barely above a whisper. 


I've been walking for 30 minutes. This feels good. This is good for my body. Christ my thighs are rubbing together.  But my ass hurts. It's a good hurt. Buns of Steel. Buns of Steel.  How many miles have I walked? Maybe 2 by now? How the EFF am I going to do 20-ish miles a day in July? For 3 days straight.  I'm insane. Well, that's true in general, but insane to think I can walk that much. I can do it. I can totally do it.


5, 6, 7, 8; 5, 6, 7, 8

Why do I never count past 8? Am I really analyzing my counting pattern? Who the fuck cares.  Oh, I've been walking for almost an hour now. Wonder how the boys are doing.  Jeez, Mr. Kiss gets so frustrated so easily. Bet he's got them outside already. Can't handle their running around inside. It's gorgeous out. They should be outside anyway. 


I can see my road back into the 'hood. I can do this. Buns of Steel. Buns of Steel. I think I have a blister on my toe. Just need to wiggle it. Just a little bit.  "Wiggle it, Just a little Bit!"  Oh, that was outloud. 


Finally, my street. I need my inhaler. I'm 36 years old and need a damn inhaler to go for a walk in the morning.  Get me my cane and bifocals, people.  But yah, that would be good right about now. The inhaler and a Kleenex. Damn, this runny nose. I should just blow a snot rocket. But I'm in my 'hood now, I can't do that. Someone would totally see me. I'll just wipe it with my sleeve. Oh, there's a spot where there's no kid spot, perfect. Ew. Snot. EW. Ah, that does feel better though.


Just 4 more houses, I so did this, no problem. 


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I did it! I counted to 10!


Oh, look the kids are outside, playing hockey.  Better take my ipod off so I can hear the rundown from the husband. Great. Welcome back to my life.


"I'm going inside to wash my face!" Back to reality. That walk sure did feel good, though. Maybe I'll go again tomorrow.


~p.s. I'm totally training for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk.  20 weeks to go…



Blogger John said...

This had me cracking up. I do much of the same, but gave up counting steps a long time ago. Then I got a pedometer, but I always forget to use it.

I barely ever run in my own neighborhood because I'm not afraid to let out a snot rocket, or a fart, or to scream lyrics at the top of my lungs as a breathlessly crest a hill.

Compression shorts...they'll save your thighs.

3/7/11, 11:04 AM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

W00t!! You can do it Momma!

3/7/11, 11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like my inner dialogue when I'm walking. Wish you lived in my neighborhood. We could keep each other company.

3/7/11, 11:58 AM  
Blogger tulpen said...

I want for a wicked long walk yesterday morning too.... and my ass hurts today....

I don't count my steps, you are indeed weird. But sometimes I catch myself signing the lyrics of the songs I'm listening to, and that doesn't make me look ridiculous at all.

3/7/11, 11:58 AM  
Blogger tulpen said...

WENT dammit! Went for a walk!!

3/7/11, 11:58 AM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

My last "running" partner would count steps. Drove me fucking nuts. But you, you can count, you can whistle, sing, walk out of a cave on your hands (love M&S!), I'd be right there with you.

And buns of steel, you know how many times I've done that workout? I must find it again. For entertainment purposes only. I swear.

3/7/11, 12:02 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

Woohoo for exercise!

Well, I'll woohoo yours as I sit on my ass.

3/7/11, 12:09 PM  
Blogger Annabelle said...

You're doing the 3day?

What a badass you are!

I count fours, btw. Four things of four, whenever possible.

3/7/11, 12:13 PM  
Blogger Jaime said...

i try not to count my steps. it'd be too depressing to know EXACTLY how quickly i get winded!

3/7/11, 12:35 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

I LOVE that you're doing this. And you'll make it b/c you're doing it for A.

And I know you.

3/7/11, 12:56 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

I never count past 8 either.

Actually, I normally count "1,2,3,4, United States Marine Corps"

Which makes sense as I have never been in the Marines.

3/7/11, 1:14 PM  
Blogger Hello! I'm Kate. said...

ha! This had me laughing all the way through it.

It's amazing the things our brains "say" when we are doing something like that.

When I was running cross country in high school & college I would always say "pop up video" to the rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement. No friggin' idea why, I just did it.

3/7/11, 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO! Only you could make a walk so much fun. I'd actually go walking too if you were my partner!

3/7/11, 1:56 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Cuz you must either be a dancer or musician at heart. That's where the 8 count comes in. :)

Dude, that Adele song would be fab for walking! You should see Maddie get down to it. She gets this low, quick bounce going.

3/7/11, 2:33 PM  
Anonymous julie gardner said...

I eat things in twos (I know. not OCD at all, right?) so I think the counting thing?

Totally normal.

Also, you are freaking awesome for doing Susan G. Komen - I did the Avon walk last September and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I ate two plates of pasta every night.

And lastly - I know my blog site sucks. My email is but no one can find it. Ever. Sorry!

(can't believe madwoman has a butt picture of you. you will need to take one before AND after Susan G. Komen. You. Rock!)

3/7/11, 3:04 PM  
Blogger Gigi said...

LOL. keep it up girl, 8 steps at a time. You can do it!

3/7/11, 6:26 PM  
Blogger K Pugliano said...

You can do it!!

One day, one step at a time...


3/7/11, 8:28 PM  
Anonymous Mrs. Tuna said...

Sh*t good luck to you, I barely want to walk to the end of the driveway for the mail.

3/7/11, 9:56 PM  
Blogger Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Darned intergremlins at my comment!

It was brilliant too.

We're going with that. K?

Cause now I'm annoyed.

3/7/11, 11:50 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

This had me cracking up. Incidentally a couple years ago one of my best friends did the walk, she said it was an AMAZING experience. You can do it!

3/8/11, 4:36 PM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

I count stuff too. I'm not sure I count my steps. I'll have to pay attention to that next time I'm out walking with the stupid squirrels.

3/8/11, 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're hilarious, and you are going to totally rock that walk!

3/9/11, 2:58 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

i kind of love this. what goes on in people's minds while they're working out. i'm usually like, 'why's my hair so bouncy today. my bra feels tight. can i adjust boobs w/out anyone noticing...'

good luck with the training!

3/9/11, 2:11 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

Now that's a goal worth getting out there for! You made me laugh with the counting thing because I totally do that in multiples of four!

3/10/11, 11:43 AM  
Blogger angie said...

Laughed my way through this.

And, you are SO talented!

3/11/11, 12:48 PM  
Blogger Suniverse said...

Oooh, good for you.

I tend to count when I walk. And curse at nature. Especially those fucking clouds of gnats that seem to dive bomb me. Bastards.

3/11/11, 1:08 PM  
Anonymous SB said...

I count to 25. LOL

3/12/11, 10:11 PM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

Good for you :) I am still trying to motivate myself to work out!

3/14/11, 12:18 AM  

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