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Momma Kiss: Something's fishy

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Something's fishy

I had to work this weekend. Meh.

Sunday morning, my children "let us sleep in" by going downstairs "to play."

Let me preface this by saying my kids? Are generally pretty decent. They whine, they bitch, they make me wipe their ass.

However.

We've never had an incident with scissors, sharpies on furniture or walls, fingers in sockets...none of that. They're typically good with the general stuff.

Until Sunday morning.

They came up to our room around 7.15 and told us they fed the fish.

These were brand new fish they they purchased with daddy just the day before. Daddy spent a week cleaning the tank, getting all those rocks and castles and shit in there, oxidizing the water. When he put the fish in on Saturday, he fed them - in front of the boys - and when the 5 year old asked if he could do it, we said in unison "No, feeding the fish is a job for Mom's and Dad's."

Strike one, kids, when you tell us you fed the fish knowing you shouldn't be doing it.

Strike two? When we go down and see that they had dumped half a can of food in the tank.

Filter? Ruined.  Rocks? Dirty.  Fish? All dead within 12 hours. 

Holy Fuck, did my husband yell. If the neighbors didn't already think we're crazy, it's confirmed now.

5 year old sent to his room, 3 year old sent to bottom step. For 30 minutes.

The little monsters knew they were in trouble. And then? The 3 year old says "I wanna get up, I wanna say sorry. We didn't mean to kill the fish and we're sorry we were yelling bad words, too."

Big brother? "STOP TELLING THEM WE WERE YELLING BAD WORDS!"

Strike 3. They lost all t.v. privileges for the day.

Which is really punishment against us, right? Well, my husband, as I sauntered off to work.

My damn kids are turning into jerks, and I blame myself. I've been working many many hours. I'm sick again, so when I'm home, I'm garbage.

This whole quality of life "deal" is all FUBAR right now. Not sure how to fix it, though. I can't even keep fish alive. 


43 Comments:

Blogger Symdaddy said...

Is nailing children to the wall illegal?

2/21/11, 12:02 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

No mommy guilt, girl! Sounds like normal kid crap to me :)

2/21/11, 12:02 PM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

Ahem, Momma.. ? DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!

Kids are Notorious for being jerks.. it's their thing when they're little.. sometimes they're mushy little sweethearts.. sometimes they're nasty little jerks.

If you do the job right, they grow out of it. Trust me.. my kid had his time of being a little jerk. He grew out of it.

As for the fish.. shit happens, they're fish, they die fairly fast for stupid shit. Been there, done that.

Get more fish.
Keep the food where the kids can't reach it or.. get those little vacation feeder blocks that feed the fish for a week.

Don't be down on yourself.. Parenting is a constant learning experience/work in progress.

I'm no expert.. but if I can do it without failing, so can you.

Be strong.
You've got much love!

2/21/11, 12:05 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Sorry, but this made me chuckle. I find this very funny. Laughing with you, not at you of course ;)

2/21/11, 12:28 PM  
Blogger Lisa..... said...

My daughter once stuffed her kitten into a pillow case (with the pillow still in it) and then into a suitcase. I was pretty sure she was going to grow up to be a serial killer and I was screaming as I frantically tried to unzip the suitcase.

It didn't die.

And she wants to be a veterinarian.

2/21/11, 12:43 PM  
Blogger Ms.Wasteland said...

Not your fault! Kids are always going to do stupid stuff and moms are always going to have something to feel guilty about if we let ourselves.

2/21/11, 1:10 PM  
Blogger Annabelle said...

oh, momma kiss, you're being much to hard on yourself. They sound like completely normal kids. Slightly jerky, yes....but that is the normal.

I know how you feel though. Work and family balance is damn near impossible.

2/21/11, 1:11 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

I laughed because I have totally been the big sister in that situation.

Hope things slow down for you soon.

2/21/11, 1:31 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

My boys started acting like jerks a long time ago and I stay home with them so I know it's not the result of a working mother. It's just boys being boys.

2/21/11, 1:40 PM  
Blogger That One Mom said...

This is no reflection on you at all. Kids will be kids. Don't let the working mom guilt get you down.

2/21/11, 1:48 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I'm home and my kids still do crazy things.

2/21/11, 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Mo said...

A. this is some funny stuff.
B. if your kids are jerks, mine are raving mad lunatics
C. you need to unwind in Chicago with a little MoFo love

2/21/11, 2:39 PM  
Blogger The Sharp's said...

I kind of laughed out loud too. "We were yelling bad words" hilarious! You know we all go through this! I am sure they still love the hell out of you!

2/21/11, 2:55 PM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

lol Eh, Im sure those fish were suicidal anyways. Cant really blame the kids. Fish are always dying.

2/21/11, 2:56 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

They knew they blew it. And this too shall pass. Sucks though that your family has to start all over getting the aquarium reset.

It coulda been worse. Thing Two once dehydrated a hamster, then took it's little dead body out of the cage to clean the cage and then put the dead body BACK so as to pretend that he didn't know it was dead.

2/21/11, 3:35 PM  
Blogger Joey @ Big Teeth and Clouds said...

Fish are terrible creatures that die no matter what. You saved yourself the trouble of keeping them clinging to their sad little lives for a few months before dying anyway.

I need to go feed our stupid fish now.

2/21/11, 3:55 PM  
Blogger Life Without Pink said...

Ok I am sorry I had to laugh...sounds like our house. If I leave my boys alone something ALWAYS happens and one of them {or both} is getting into trouble. I started working from home and let's say its not easy!

2/21/11, 4:19 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Sounds like Momma needs to take a breather and take care of herself. Kids are shits and then they're not and then they are again. And I only know this from watching my brothers.
And yeah, what Ash said.

2/21/11, 4:25 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Sent my kid to his room once and when I went to get him, he'd thrown his socks and other assorted items into his fish tank, killing the inhabitants.

I don't work.

He's still a jerk.

2/21/11, 4:57 PM  
Blogger Hello! I'm Kate. said...

Sounds like kids will be kids.

I was 4 years old & cut off all my sister's hair (she was 2.) My mom used to have people come up to her & offer us money donations because they thought my little sister had cancer. It didn't grow back for 2 years!!!

And the kicker, I told my little sister to lie & say she did it. And she told them. And she got in trouble, I never did.

I eventually confessed years later, but my dad yelled, screamed, threw the kid scissors...and I think it was a Sunday.

See kids will be kids...sorry about the fish :/

2/21/11, 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Jessica said...

Leave it to kids to tell on themselves. The poor little on just wanted to apologize but instead ends up confessing to using bad words. What a morning for you. I don't think I would replace the fish. I hope you feel better soon and can stop working so much.

2/21/11, 5:15 PM  
Anonymous Erin Margolin said...

Your kids are normal. At that age I wouldn't expect mine to know how to treat fish, either. We do have a dog, which is totally different (& he can totally fend for himself). Don't be upset with yourself---it isn't your fault. Let it go. Hopefully they learned a valuable lesson.

HUGS

2/21/11, 6:46 PM  
Blogger The Drama Mama said...

I stay at home all day WITH my kids, and well..you should see my walls. I finally decided to leave his artwork up, because if I cleaned it, he'd do it all over again. *sigh*. He's good most of the time, though, so I feel your pain.

2/21/11, 6:56 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Don't blame yourself for this one. You've seen the shit my kids do before 7 am right? Granted, they didn't involve killing fish, but that was a rookie mistake on their part. Hell, I can't even keep fish alive. But the working on a Sunday part blows :(

2/21/11, 7:53 PM  
Anonymous Will The Real Kim Please Stand up said...

Time to break put the belt and coat hanger...

2/21/11, 9:19 PM  
Anonymous Miel Abeille said...

On the flip side, your kids might've killed the fish & upset you & your husband. But, I suspect this is going to be one of those memories that the kids will recount when they're home from college for the holidays. I have never forgotten my mom's reaction or the look on my dad's face the time I wrote on the hallway wall. I was 5 and it was a perfect canvas.

2/21/11, 10:58 PM  
Blogger K Pugliano said...

This is frustrating now....but in a few years, you will all be laughing when you say "remember when you fed the fish....."

2/21/11, 11:06 PM  
OpenID amyblam.com said...

I. Can't. Deal. With. Fish. I murdered one of bratchild's once. It was wily and wicked and kept toying with me by playing dead for days on end. When the fish hadn't moved for six days, I decided it was safe to dump. Of course, the second I dumped the fish in the trash, he started flopping about. I didn't save him. I let him die for his foolishness.

2/21/11, 11:17 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

here fishy fishy fishy. We've killed so many fish. So very, very many. And they were all named 'tuna.' Also, my walls, which I painted myself, in a faux finish (because I am a world class dumbass) have sharpie drawings of snowmen, kitten, practice names, and the hated bendaroo's. And I stay at home. Good times :) You're doing what you have to do right now, so you keep doing it and know that your family appreciates it.

2/22/11, 9:30 AM  
Blogger Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

I'm with everyone else. That is normal kid chaos and in no way reflective of bad parent-dom.

I'm SURE Wally and Beaver did shit like that.

2/22/11, 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Mommy Nani Booboo said...

There's only so much a momma can do. Pretty sure everyone's right about the normal jerkiness of kids that age.
Know how you feel, though.... I had the flu and a huge fever all last week, and let the TV babysit my kid. He was mostly bored, didn't nap, and got a little twitchy. I had no other option... it was either that or die- which I almost did anyway.

2/22/11, 12:01 PM  
Anonymous julie gardner said...

Leave it to the 3-year-old to ramp up the confessional. Yelling bad words? Hilarious. For me who's reading.

For you with the dead fish and broken filter?

Not.

But since we're all confessional, I was the one who killed our Betta fish by pouring sparkling water into their bowls. Sometimes? I suck at basic life activities.

And accidents happen.

So I say, if the kids generally let you sleep in?
You must be doing something right...

2/22/11, 12:40 PM  
Blogger blueviolet said...

Too freakin' funny that they sold themselves out. Kids are so clueless, although if you're really looking for a silver lining, it was too darn cute that they wanted to be helpful and feed the fish.

2/22/11, 2:03 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Ooooh Nooooooo! I would have flipped my lid if that scene unfolded in my house, too!

2/22/11, 2:52 PM  
Blogger the mombshell said...

What I want to know is what were the bad words they were yelling?

2/22/11, 7:39 PM  
Blogger Kmama said...

Oh my goodness. Please don't blame yourself for that! My kids are jerks on a daily basis, hell, probably a minute by minute basis and I'm sure that's NOT my fault.

Hang in there. Remember...kids are jerks. They are born that way. They don't need our help. ;-)

2/22/11, 9:32 PM  
Blogger hotpants™ said...

My kids are being horrible. They whine. They cry. They argue. I scream. I'm near my breaking point. I'm so ready for spring when we can all go outside and burn off some energy.

2/22/11, 9:50 PM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I was just gonna say: what? You took away the tv? Are you fucken nuts!
So sorry for your losses (the fish...all of them...within 12 hours.)

2/22/11, 11:22 PM  
Blogger Not Winning Mom of the Year said...

Gotta love them, this made me laugh out loud!

2/22/11, 11:37 PM  
Anonymous Yuliya said...

Oh they are most definitely not turning into jerks, they are just being kids...kids that are begging to be sent to boarding school :)
Hang in there!

2/23/11, 12:02 AM  
Blogger The Mommyologist said...

OMG the bad word thing made me laugh so hard!! Don't you love how kids incriminate themselves like that?

And you are NOT doing anything wrong!

2/23/11, 6:48 AM  
Blogger Booyah's Momma said...

I hear you on the quality of life thing. Finding balance is a friggin' hard thing to do sometimes.

I doubt that this will make you feel any better, but I can't keep fish alive either. One of our Bettas died after only 2 days. The kids didn't overfeed them; mom just forgot to feed them.

2/23/11, 1:35 PM  
Blogger Boobies said...

Do tell how you got your 3 year old to sit in one place for 30 minutes! I will forever bow down to you!

2/24/11, 11:15 AM  

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