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Momma Kiss: Post Op insanity

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Post Op insanity

What's up What's UP?

I'm still heavily medicated. So you know.

I had surgery on Thursday. I went from big saggy fun bags to small high & tight titties. A reduction of monumental proportions people. I've been waiting to have this done since I was - oh - 13 and grew boobies? It's been on the agenda - just needed to be done using the tits to lure men, make other women jealous and feed babies.

Since that required heavy sedation - I decided to also have some abs created. Hey - anesthesia and op room fees were reduced, I couldn't pass it up. Yep. My gunt? Be GONE! Let me tell you, after 2 c-sections, that FUPA was not attractive. At. All.

The operation was about 5 hours, I woke up 3 hours after that and had some delightful conversations w/ my husband in recovery. He promises me he didn't video tape me. I stayed in the hospital over night and as soon as they ripped the cath out, I was up and walking - I just wanted to get out.

We had the privilege of being home w/out kids until Monday evening, which was the very best thing under the sun. I sat and slept and popped pills and e-mailed and texted. A lot of those apparently - totally high as a kite.

So a lil graphic, but I need to share (because no one shared w/ me!). This double procedure left me w/ drains. One under each arm and two under the ab incision. The were a little bit annoying, and I had to empty them (ew) - but I understand their need. What I did NOT understand? Was that it would hurt like no other pain when they were pulled out.

I went yesterday to have the top 2 removed. The right side, hurt a little - manageable. The left side? It was like razors being ripped through my tissue. While on fire. I cried. From pain - It's rare that I cry from pain. I cry a lot, but that's because I'm a sap and emotional, but this was pain induced and I wanted to DIE.

That pain subsided in the afternoon - and now I'm trying to figure out how to work up the nuts to go in on Thursday to have other 2 removed. They better sedate me. Or gas me. Or at least punch me while pulling them out because I'm skerd now.

Other than those drainy bastards, I'm recovering really well. Percocet is my friend. So is my big ass blankie. And gatorade.

Peace, y'all.

a lil side note - I'm also doing some counseling regarding this stuff, and other stuff. If anyone is ANTI-elective-surgery? I welcome your opinions, but for me? I've been through a lot of ups & downs and made this decision w/ the help of many and it's what's right for me. that is all.


Blogger JenJen said...

Hi dammit!
Well I'll be danged. You got new girls?? AND abs??
Hmmm. I need some abs. I like my girls. I want the kind of abs that look painted on. Hay...that gives me an idear.

9/15/09, 3:13 PM  
Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

AAWW! Hope your pain goes away soon! It will all be worth it in the end!

9/15/09, 4:21 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

I think it's AWESOME you got it done! I am SO SCARED about what the gunt will look like after this baby. SCARED MF'IN SCARED.

I can't wait to see the new and improved you! The old you was FABULOUS - I can't imagine room for much improvement! :)

9/15/09, 8:15 PM  
Anonymous Kiki said...

I'm sorry the tube removal was so bad. Thinking of you every day and hope you are feeling back to normal soon!

9/15/09, 9:10 PM  
Blogger Aunt Becky said...

Bitch please. I fully intend to have both done the MOMENT that I lose the baby weight. Be prepared to dish. Or not. I may not want to know.

9/16/09, 3:01 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I'm filing all this in my mental "vault" for the day that I get my very own mommy makeover. I'm jealous of your GBG.

9/17/09, 8:03 PM  
Blogger CageQueen said...

I'm so glad it was a success. Are you going to share an "after" pic? I hear they beat you up pretty bad during those surgeries so I'm glad you got a respite to recuperate properly!!

9/18/09, 11:18 AM  

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Say hi, dammit! For the love o Gah, I hope you have an e-mail that I can reply to. Plleeeease say you do!

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