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Momma Kiss: Surgery Shenanigans. Yay or Nay?

Momma Kiss

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Surgery Shenanigans. Yay or Nay?

I need your help. Please? I’m not above begging, but hope it won’t come to that.

So, last night I went out w/ the girls. We had a sort of ‘farewell’ toast – it was much needed. We were at this smoky rib joint and it was the absolute perfect setting for laughs and snorts and good times.

OK – so here’s where I need some advice: I told ya that I’m having surgery next week. I’m trying to think of a way to perk myself up for it. Some ideas:

Dying the pubes. Pink. Or green. Or purple? Teal, maybe? But yah – dying them – all Fun Betty like.

Or not just dying them, but also shaping up? Like dying green and trimming the hedges into the shape of a clover? Like – “good luck today!”

Ok – also – how about writing a message on my torso – to the surgeon…such as “Good Morning, Dr. McScalpel! I hope you had a restful sleep! Please feel free to take an additional 4 inches off of my waist. Smooches! MK!”

Or “Hi Y’all – I totally don’t mind if you drug me Michael Jackson style, I don’t want to remember anything. Just make sure I wake up with lots of prescriptions in my goodie bag. Freebies are welcome.”

Then we got onto discussing the potential use of temporary tats. Say, maybe, arrows pointing, or the universal “no” sign (that circle w/ the bar thru it). Or just some sunshine & rainbows?

What do you think? Opinions? Other ideas?

Or would it be totally crossing the line to do any of them?

I guess I was thinking it would put the team in a good mood or give them a laugh, but then, I’ve never been an OR nurse or Surgeon, so I clearly don’t know the protocol.

Oh God, what if it would majorly piss them off and they'd "accidentally" leave some shit inside me, like gauze or a clamp or something?

8 Comments:

Blogger Princess Andy said...

speaking as someone who has tried to dye and shape aforementioned pubes...unless you are a natural blonde you'll have to bleach it first and i'm not so sure that's safe.

and i think writing on yourself is perfectly acceptable.

how about "don't fuck up"?

andrea

9/3/09, 12:11 PM  
Blogger ghost of keywork said...

Ok, dye them blue and shave them into a smiley face. Trust me, doctors love that shit. Also, I suggest leaving your car keys in your vagina, keep em guessing ya know?

9/3/09, 12:23 PM  
Blogger CageQueen said...

Moosh in Indy totally did a post like this last month before she had surgery. Supposedly, the little note she left down below was a big hit. I think the doc's would be amused. Go for it!

P.S. Good luck with the surgery!

9/3/09, 12:33 PM  
Blogger Baby Momma said...

I freaking love it!! I say go teal, and I'm all about a note! I think that would be hilarious!!!

You have to let us know what you choose to write! :)

9/3/09, 12:40 PM  
Anonymous MoFo said...

Well I still say use all three-or was it 4 colors! Everyone loves rainbows :)

And TOTALLY leave a note. But use something they don't have to spend hours scrubbing off to get you all germ free. That might tick em off.

Ummm, maybe, "leave a little boobie for the Mr. to enjoy" or "take an extra inch off and I'll make it worth your while when I wake up :) "

9/3/09, 1:23 PM  
Blogger Lisa (aka LadyWanderlust) said...

Okay, choose a new "hairstyle" b/c that always makes a girl feel good.

As for writing on yourself...my dad had knee surgery. Mom said the doctor told her that he almost peed on himself (out of humor) because my paranoid dad took permanent marker and wrote on both legs. One said THIS LEG and the other said WRONG LEG! :)

He came out of the surgery all for the better! ;)

9/3/09, 7:22 PM  
Blogger JennyMac said...

You will be the most fun surgery patient that place has ever seen. LOL.

9/6/09, 10:05 AM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

T minus 2 days. DAYUM, insanity is upon me.

Great ideas, y'all. I've heard of the 'right leg, wrong leg' thing. And I think I love "don't fuck up" - short and sweet.

Maybe I'll practice tonite :p

9/8/09, 10:39 AM  

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