Break me off a piece...

Last night I had gas that could clear a room. Fire balls out my ass. Damn. I thought it was just all the fiber I’m eating in this health quest. Then all of a sudden my guts were rumbling – loudly – and the di-di started. I was pissed. All I wanted to do was veg on the couch and watch DVRs. Nope. I had the chills. And Shukes. And during the night I sharted myself. Like a frikkin baby.

So I was up most of the night…but took some Immodium and Dayquil and had to get my ass to work. Quarterly reporting can cuck a donkey sock.

I voted. Luckily the line wasn’t long – and I feel really proud to be part of today, even though my “popular vote” doesn’t matter for shit.

There was some crabbiness w/ the Mr. this morning that doesn’t even deserve a story. But let’s just top it all off with a trip to the dentist – my Hot Dr. Joe. I had to get prepped for a crown. I have horrifically bad (if not gleaming white) teeth – due to my welfare / no fluoride upbringing…and one tooth had just had enough. So I’m there, he’s drilling away and a piece of the shrapnel hit my gag reflex and I puked. In my mouth, then on my Hot Dr. Joe. :(

I’m now sipping chicken broth and trying to munch a cracker on the right side of my mouth. About to take another Dayquil and prolly some super strength Tylenol. My small mouth can’t take 2 hours of being propped open and violated.

I need a kit-kat break like you read about.

Please.

One child is gone, the other is healthy – and Momma's in the shitter (literally). Calgon, take me away!!!!!!