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The tale of the Ape

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Momma Kiss: The tale of the Ape

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The tale of the Ape

This morning I got the boyz up, set them up with their "cereal & milk" and went back upstairs to shower. When I was getting dressed, I realized they were being extra extra good.

Let me preface this by saying my kids? Do not typically get all Dr. Destructo when unsupervised. They may punch each other or chuck puzzle pieces about, but they've never used sharpie on the couch or cut anyone's hair. As a mom, though? When it's too quiet? You know something's up.

So I went to investigate.

All I found was the boys in the bathroom laughing - but nothing clearly amiss. Fine. Move along with the morning.

I dropped them off, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, off to work I go.

So I get to work and when I pulled my phone out of my purse, I bumped the camera button and found a picture.

I almost fell over, literally. I was crossing my legs so as not to piss my pants.

I tweeted this - Knowing I'd have to blog this shit later. You know. When I had access to blogger. Fucking firewalls.


Alas, here's the pictures I found on my phone.

George Costanza anyone?



Head gear. For the ape.



oooh, look at those pink polka dots. how pretty are they?



lemme just check this out, just a bit closer, oooof, i fell over.




People? The polka dots? It's my freakin' undies!

My children decided that taking pictures of a stuffed ape in my polka dot unmentionables was fun for them.

I don't even know what to say.

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49 Comments:

Blogger tulpen said...

that is the fucking best. i wish i were drunker (more drunk?) so that i could make a really inappropriate and wrong comment.

3/23/11, 9:03 PM  
Blogger Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli said...

Hahaha! That's fantastic.
Nice that they used pretty unders so you could show us. Not nearly as funny with old granny pants. Though on second thought, maybe funnier.

3/23/11, 9:22 PM  
Blogger Ms.Wasteland said...

O.
M.
G.

HILARIOUS!!!!

3/23/11, 9:25 PM  
Blogger The Zany Housewife said...

Your boys? Brilliant. That is hilarious!!!

3/23/11, 9:40 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

LMAO! Very creative!

3/23/11, 9:46 PM  
Blogger dosweatthesmallstuff said...

LOL! I know it IS your underwear in those pics, but I just have to say that your boys are charming!!!

3/23/11, 9:59 PM  
Blogger Diane said...

BwaHaHaaa! I've found pics my boys snapped that made me chuckle but this? This is effing hilarious!

3/23/11, 10:38 PM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

I think that the only thing funnier to boys than underwear is a fart.

I love that they used yours, dad's was probably too boring!

3/23/11, 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly is awesome so says her name tag said...

Did the ape survive?
Kidding.
Your kids crack me up...get it butt crack.
Oy. It's late whatya want from meeeee?

3/24/11, 12:17 AM  
Anonymous Bruna said...

Oh my gosh, what a riot your boys are! Too funny. I couldn't stop laughing at the pics. Smart, smart boys you have:)))

3/24/11, 12:17 AM  
Anonymous Morgan B. said...

If anyone ever questions your paternity you just show them this post. Hahaha!

3/24/11, 12:50 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

So freaking hilarious! What made them think to do this? So funny. Perhaps you should password protect your phone.

3/24/11, 1:04 AM  
Anonymous CDG @ Move Over Mary Poppins! said...

You didn't know that stuffed apes have a long history of panty fetishes?

Shame on you. That's, like, common knowledge.

And you should definitely password protect your phone!

3/24/11, 6:58 AM  
Blogger John said...

I see the apples don't fall far from the tree

Funny, though, I always thought apes preferred crotchless panties.

3/24/11, 7:59 AM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

I didn't realize there was an ape in the photo until you said it.

Too focused on the polka dots.

3/24/11, 8:16 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

LOL! That is a mommy blogger's dream.

Or maybe nightmare.

3/24/11, 8:46 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

That is sooo funny!! My kids don't get into too much trouble either (knock on wood), but I totally expect something like that to come from them too.

3/24/11, 9:03 AM  
Blogger Jackie said...

LOL!!! That is freakin' hilarious!!

Well, at least they weren't getting in trouble or fighting!

3/24/11, 9:23 AM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

HAHAHAHAHA!! I love it!

3/24/11, 9:45 AM  
Blogger The Sharp's said...

"OH MY GARAGE"!!!! That is freaking hilarious. Actually it is beyond hilarious! I can totally see my boys doing this. Quite the little photographer he is. That would have definitely made my month! Congrats momma on having some kick ass kids!!

3/24/11, 10:20 AM  
OpenID gopopgo said...

It's tough to stay mad at the little boogers when they do ridiculous stuff like that. Too funny!

And the pics reminded me of that trip you took and your hannibal lecter pic, and lo and behold, that's one of the recommended links. So I guess we know where they get their hilarity from!

3/24/11, 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Your boys are wise beyond their years.

Wise, I say.

3/24/11, 10:53 AM  
Blogger IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY said...

bahahaha love this. First time here..is it like this all the time????

3/24/11, 11:11 AM  
Blogger By Word of Mouth Musings said...

They are starting out young ... well, at least they were not trying them on themselves ;)
altho boys carry both pink and polka dots well!

3/24/11, 11:42 AM  
Blogger Annabelle said...

buwahahahahah - hilarious!

3/24/11, 12:40 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

What a proud moment...

3/24/11, 1:47 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

I see the next GQ featuring apes heavily - your kids are visionaries.

3/24/11, 1:53 PM  
Blogger Hello! I'm Kate. said...

ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Laughing out loud here...that's awseome!

3/24/11, 2:30 PM  
Blogger Boobies said...

LMAO! This is absolutely hysterical...I too almost pissed my pants! Way to go kids!

3/24/11, 3:08 PM  
Anonymous Mo said...

Brings back memories of a certain Cali trip . . .

3/24/11, 3:22 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

CAN'T GET THE FUNNY PISTONS TO FIRE! There is a whole dialogue of the ape bragging about his conquest and I CAN'T MAKE IT COME!

*thats what she said!

3/24/11, 3:57 PM  
Anonymous SB said...

now THAT is funny! LMAO!!

3/24/11, 4:28 PM  
Blogger Tarja said...

Apes in undies are the cat's meow. Your sons are the Annie Liebowitz of animal photography.

3/24/11, 6:04 PM  
Blogger the mombshell said...

OMG thats awesome! -sniff- you must be so proud!

3/24/11, 8:00 PM  
Blogger Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points said...

Oh I'm dying here.

Just dying.

The ape and the red underwear.

Yep. Still dying.

3/25/11, 1:49 AM  
Anonymous Wendi said...

Hilarious.
It's so much fun having two boys, isn't it?

3/25/11, 9:57 AM  
Anonymous Mommy Nani Booboo said...

They are clearly genius spawn.
And you probably don't need to know that I have those same undies. Great vaginas think alike.

3/25/11, 12:59 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Love it! So they never said anything about it? did they put the skivvies back where they belonged afterwards? LOL

3/25/11, 9:17 PM  
Blogger Booyah's Momma said...

Horrified and proud would about sum it up. Smart little cookies. Although that picture at the end of the ape sniffing the undies is a bit disturbing. But still funny.

3/26/11, 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Edie Mindell said...

LOL!!!! Laughing so hard here.:-) Your kids are brilliant and funny. When my kids become silent whenever I leave them for a minute, I know they are up to something.:-)

3/26/11, 11:46 PM  
Blogger alicia said...

Well. At least they didn't put lipstick on it. Too freaking funny!

3/27/11, 10:42 AM  
Anonymous JenJen said...

Hi Dammit. You have found your funny :) xo

3/27/11, 7:02 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

So, this begs the question...did you bring this back up with the boys later that day?

3/28/11, 2:53 PM  
Blogger Dumb Mom said...

I'm so in love with your undies. I mean your KIDS!

3/28/11, 10:12 PM  
Blogger Alex@LateEnough said...

The surprise photography is the best! An important life skill.

Ps. at least it wasn't granny panties that you had to post here.

3/30/11, 12:44 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

My favorite is the "oof" fell over.
Seriously.
And also? Your undies AND stuffed animals are in way better shape than mine over here.

Well done, lady.

3/30/11, 8:16 AM  
Blogger hotpants™ said...

OMG, I would have died from laughing so hard. You've got some funny kids.

3/30/11, 10:15 PM  
Blogger Wombat Central said...

I think what I find funniest is the fact that they took them on your phone for YOU to find later. And "oh my garage" is my new fave phrase.

3/31/11, 3:45 PM  
Anonymous Erin I'm GOnna Kill Him said...

Your underwear are so far superior to my own. Mine would have made that hippo look like a Taliban member in a black, dirty turban.

4/6/11, 7:36 AM  

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