These Dreams*

The thing about me is that I remember dreams. I don't think that is a good thing. I've read that if you remember dreams, you're not really getting restful sleep. Duh. I haven't had restful sleep in years. Anyway - some of them stuck out, and so I share. It's what I do.

I had a dream that I attended a blogger conference. I’m all “squee” and hugging people. The suite we’re assigned to is HUGE. Like Pimp Daddy Real World Style Huge. Pool tables, kitchens, WINE. One girl (who was not human but was her ‘cartoony blog person’ in my dream) met family the day before so I got to meet a stranger’s kids. At one point I left my laptop in the airport, but never fear! I was able to tweet to the girl coming on the next flight and she picked it right up for me. Then all the girls left me to do super cool things. And then? A co-worker of mine showed up. We jumped on huge beds and watched a movie on the big screen and had wine in our jammies. Her job? She’s the Head of Compliance. i.e.IT Security. i.e. NO blogs at work. Coinkidink? I’m thinking no.

I had a dream that I was offered and accepted this high falootin job. Where I was meant to wear suits every day and report to the CEO who was a woman. I remember in my dream I was wondering why on EARTH would they offer me this job, I can’t do any of this shit. My office was ungodly large, with a t.v. and a fridge and a conference table and a fancy-how-the-hell-do-i-work-it-phone. My first day, I was running late at home. The people around me included my own kids, my mother and my husband’s sister. The latter two live no where even remotely close to me. As I’m pacing and needing to leave, my sister in law says “I have to poop.” Not one of the kids. The 40 year old. And I was late to the first day of my new job.

I had a dream that I got lost in a house that's too big for it's own good. I was turning into hidden rooms and climbing one staircase but descending another. Ending up in an attic, and then being on top of a washing machine. Now that I think about it, this may actually be a nightmare.

I had a dream about clit suckers. I have no idea. Although, come to think of it, this may or may not stem from my own versions of “texts from last night” the day prior.


*hope that Heart song isn't on replay in your head because of the title. Really. Oh it is now? Whoopsie.