Meet the Modern Mamaz

Morning kids.

A few days ago, Jennie and I had some cawfee talk {fine, an e-mail exchange} and we decided to trade sites for a day.

Why does this appeal to me? A) you get to meet a new blogger {unless you already know her and if so, props.} 2) she's cute and 3) I don't have to write! WIN WIN for the fuckin' WIN!

So meet Jennie of the Modern Mamaz:

Grannie Panties and Wedgies Too
Somewhere around the fifth or sixth month of my pregnancy those sexy little string bikinis that used to be part of my every day attire seemed to have migrated to the back of the dresser drawer, only to be replaced by ones that took more fabric during production than our living room drapes. There’s something that happens during this time that triggers your brain to say to the rest of your body; “Ah, screw it. Who gives a shit, really.”

I don’t have anything against underwear that are so “full figured” they could easily serve two purposes; panties and bra. Hell, I’m a modern woman. I like to conserve. I do, however, take issue with the fact that I cannot keep them out of my ass. I am familiar with the feeling of having fabric up my rear, but there is a distinct difference between the feeling of a string and a Venetian blind. One creates a sensation of having been prison bitch the night before. Not cool.

Along with the change in underwear, I have reached a point where I am no longer able to wear my normal clothes. Well, comfortably. The dilemma here is that maternity pants have that cute little stretchy part on the top that also goes up to your boobs. This creates somewhat of a war between pants and panties. Both are fighting to be at the top.

“NO! I am going to be under her tits!” – Pants

“The hell you are! I’m closer!” – Panties

“I’m bigger!” – Pants

“That’s debatable!” – Panties

I’ve mastered the art of the “hop and pull”, “the shimmy-pick”, and the “hip roll – panty pull” as a result of this. Given some music, I’d closely resemble Elaine Benes at her Christmas party. Which, somehow makes me feel okay about it.


See? Cute AND funny! Here's her bio:

My name is Jennie Funkhouser, I am a 28 year old self proclaimed super mom. Yes, I went there. I am short tempered, over emotional, strong willed and way too opinionated for my own good. Or yours, you pick. 

I bit my toenails until I was in high school, I can never shut up, and I love my life. I am married to Scott, my perfect match and man that can literally fix or build anything. We have a 4 year old boy, Hunter, who is seriously the best behaved child I have ever encountered… no idea where in the hell he got that. Not me, I assure you. Our Daughter, Sophie, is 1 year old. She keeps us on our toes and our
hearts beating in a panic every minute that she is awake. Payback’s a bitch, I guess.

I spend my days as an internet marketer and one fantasticalicious mother. When the sun goes down, though… I like to get down and dirty, with you. On my blog. Get your mind out of the gutter. You can come and play with me on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/modrnmamaz or Twitter @ModernMamaz. Or stop by my blog at www.ModernMamaz.com. I don’t even ask that you call first.





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Don't forget to enter the Shining Stones Giveaway! Ellie, hope you're gettin' some biz-ness from the ladies!