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Warning. I'm swearing today. Friday Flip Off.

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Momma Kiss: Warning. I'm swearing today. Friday Flip Off.

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Warning. I'm swearing today. Friday Flip Off.

Someone around the ‘sphere does one of these where you say Eff Off Friday and today I must participate.*

This morning, my little angel faced cherub was up at 5.45 am screaming for Momma. But when Momma arrived, he said “no momma” and continued to whine, scream, cry, point and stomp his feet for the next hour. He’s 2. It’s his job. Doesn’t make it any more ‘fun.’ So to my Little Kiss, Fuck You.

After 59 minutes of this whining, screaming and crying, I yelled – at the top of my lungs – “WILL YOU PLEASE STOP WHINING BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON EVERY MORNING FOR A WEEK AND I’M ABOUT TO LOSE IT” [“about to.” Heh.] To which, my husband replies “nice, every window in the house is open, hope you don’t mind the neighbors hearing that.” To my husband, who couldn’t be MORE supportive, Fuck you.

To the lame “invite the whole class to a kid’s birthday party” rule. My kid hates your kid because he spits and isn’t nice and my kid only plays with a few of the kids in class so to that rule: Fuck You. I only invited 5 friends.

My co-worker, who decided to send an e-mail about the smallest little thing, but then CC like 896 others on it so as to point out an inconsistency, thanks for being so professional. Fuck you.

To Father Time, for just, I don’t know, for being. My kid turns 5 next week. I’m really not dealing with it well. He’s not nearly a baby, obviously. Not even a toddler. He’s a really big boy. And I’m not ready to be a mom of a 5 year old. So yah, Father Time. Fuck you.

Wow. I feel REMARKABLY better.

*found it. She even has a button. Though with my trucker mouth, I'm not sure she would appreciate being associated with me.



Blogger Moooooog35 said...

I'm having a great day.

Hope it helps!

5/28/10, 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Melissa said...

link up! She'd love the linky love.

Is your son just trying out a new morning routine?

The 5 milestone is harder than the milkman on a monday morning.

Good for you for forgoing the rule. That really is the dumbest rule. Next, second and third place will be admonished, everyone will be president, and all people will have shitty personalities because they didn't have to work for birthday invites.

I've definitely shared the same words with my husband for the same situation. Support. It's what I married for.

5/28/10, 12:37 PM  
Blogger The Urban Cowboy said...

Ha, you crack me up! I would get so annoyed at those cc's in business email too.

Here's to you having a great weekend, I'll fuck off now.

5/28/10, 12:42 PM  
Blogger lisaj said...'re funny!! love that you said fuck off instead off flip off!

5/28/10, 1:06 PM  
Blogger The Suburban Princess said...

LMAO! We only invited one friend from school to our kid's party tomorrow. I think that rule is stupid too.

Ditto on the "supportive" husband front. Sometimes (almost always) mine talks out of his ass too. lol.

5/28/10, 1:23 PM  
Blogger The Empress said...

No, something tells me that FOF was MADE for you.

And, Gigi, well, she's got a FOF side to her that will totally be fine with you hooking up here...

5/28/10, 1:48 PM  
Blogger tulpen said...

I did "Fuck You Friday" for a long time. Love a good rant. Very cleansing. Also it goes well with wine.

Happy Weekend!

5/28/10, 2:15 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

I'm here to publicly announce you as my Hero, my Idol! And fuck you to whoever decided to give us the role of mother. Why can't we be the dads and just play catch with our kids? Why are we strapped with party plans, and making nice and whiney wake up calls?

Amen sister! A big fat F U to Father Time!

5/28/10, 2:20 PM  
Blogger ☾ Ash ♡ said...

HA!! Thanks for cracking me up and for not feeling bad about telling the old battleaxe in the Mercedes to Fuck Off this morning loudly through my open window because apparently she thought she was invincible while turning into oncoming traffic .

5/28/10, 2:21 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

LMAO I love that you are saying that to your 2 year old. B/c 2 year olds really are little demons.

5/28/10, 2:35 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

Well, if that wasn't refreshing...I don't know what is! Congrats for your venting and using the F-word! Something I haven't seen in too many mommy blogs! You are an icon! Haha! Cute blog!

5/28/10, 3:07 PM  
Blogger Greta said...

I love that you gave the finger to your child and your husband on the same day! I also love the irony of a beautiful wedding ring shining next to a finger that symbolizes the flip off. Totally classy!!! You are my kind of lady :)

5/28/10, 3:45 PM  
Blogger well read hostess said...

My kids birthdays kick my ass. I always get sad. Way more than my own, which is irrational because I'm old as fuck and SHOULD cry about that.

But still. I get it.

5/28/10, 5:17 PM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Hey, thanks for participating in FFO. I have no problem with you using the Queen's English and saying fuck. I am not easily offended :)

i remember those passive aggressive CCs from my work days...they suck ass.

And 2 year olds? let's just say I am so glad my youngest is about to turn 5. They are evil, evil, evil.

come back next week, y'all!

5/28/10, 5:56 PM  
Blogger alicia said...

So glad to have ya joining in. It's the greatest meme ever. Love Gigi! And I'm with ya on Father time.

5/28/10, 6:33 PM  
Blogger Dazee Dreamer said...

OMG, I Loved Your Fuck you's. Father time. Ha, my "baby" is getting married in July. Now that is Father time for ya.

5/28/10, 7:24 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

I'm drinking the Kool-Aid girlfriend! I just love a good old fashioned honest blog! I have a feeling you and I are going to be great bloggie buddies;)

5/28/10, 10:26 PM  
Blogger Candy's daily Dandy said...

LOVE Fuck You Friday!!! Can I play? ..fuck you to that extra 15lbs I've been trying to shed forever.

Love the new look of the the font..the phrase..everything!

5/29/10, 12:29 AM  
Blogger bernthis said...

I'm with you on the father time one and while I'm at it, fuck you to all the ppl in L.A. who drive $75,000 cars but really CAN'T DRIVE. I should have one of those cars.

5/29/10, 2:51 AM  
Blogger Mrsblogalot said...

LOL! I love you Momma!! You just made me crack up!

...oh, I am glad you feel better (-:

5/29/10, 8:28 AM  
Anonymous Elle said...

I realized I didn't leave you a comment. So sorry...and I hate Father time too. I have an 11 year old and I'm 32. The only thing I'm greatful for is that when she graduates or gets married, I won't be on life support. Ha!

5/29/10, 11:00 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

did the same thing with the class rule. i invited 3 out of 11. whatever.

6/1/10, 9:14 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I have a two year old here to. The way I see it, I still rather have that unruly 2 year old rather than the 16 yr old ill have one day! Booooo

6/1/10, 4:43 PM  
Blogger Sarah P said...

I came here, saw your middle finger, and fell in love with you.
Have my baby.

6/3/10, 4:13 PM  

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