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Bumpin' Uglies - The List

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Momma Kiss: Bumpin' Uglies - The List

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bumpin' Uglies - The List

OK, I usually totally suck ass at responding to the bloggy award things. I do. But this one - well - it cracked my shit up and I have nothing else to write about, so when Jess shared this with me I figured what the fuck. Here goes!

Do you have a "list" - that list of celebs you'd totally bump uglies with, no regrets? And if you're in a committed relationship, your 'other' is aware of this list, right? I mean, he/she has to be in the know. If for nothing else, to get you out of jail incase you're accused of stalking the celeb.

#1. Now this goes way back, the first Star I ever remember thinking “I want to marry him and live happily ever after.” I was approximately 7. And this was pre-Frodo days:
Sean Astin, aka Mikey in The Goonies.

Oh how I wanted him. I distinctly remember stealing change from my older brothers and my mom’s coin purse to go to the movie. Alone. At night. On the way home I was crying because I realized Mikey was just a movie star and he’d probably never know I existed and then I got picked up by the cops and when I got home my mom beat my ass. After telling me she was glad I was safe, of course. And then I was grounded for stealing money and not telling anyone where I was going.


Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. We met once, actually. At Fenway Park, Easter Sunday 2002. I was hungover as hell and racing to the bathroom under the stands and there he was. Walking toward me. Totally checking me out. Like eyeing me up and down and smiling. I stood there all gobsmacked, forgetting about my need to hurl and just stared at him. Then I said “Hi” and he said “Hi” and kept walking. I raced back to tell my [then] fiancé and everyone within shouting distance that “Ben Affleck just TOTALLY hit on me!” and no one believed me and then he came up to the section, waved at me and went to his Front row seat. I then remembered my need to vomit and had to race back to the bathroom.

#3. Vincent Vaughn. Jen was a total MAROON to give up this guy. Swear. TO. GOD, he could make me laugh during sex and that’s a superior quality, right there.

#4. Gerard Butler. The goofy grins. His swagger. Swooooon. Not to mention the accent. That alone makes my girlie bits tingle.

#5.  Enough Said.

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Anonymous Val (wowiee) said...

I made the list!! Awesome!!!

Wait. Was me me or my 'tini?

Whatever. I made the list!!


5/15/10, 9:51 PM  
Anonymous Val (wowiee) said...

Oh. And the rest of your list rocks too. Ben. Mmmmmmm. He waved at you? And you still hurled? Rookie. :p

5/15/10, 9:52 PM  
Blogger tulpen said...

Ok. Ben Affleck is nasty. You can have him.

However. For Vince and Gerard I will fight you to the death.

And I'll win too, 'cause I'm sorta drunk, and I'm mean when I'm drunk. And horny.


5/15/10, 10:44 PM  
Blogger slinkygirl7 said...

I'd do Val, too.

My kid crush? Kirk Cameron. Swoooon.

5/15/10, 11:46 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Yeah, tossing Val in there through me for a loop.

1. I so "almost" got picked up by the cops one night and if my parents ever found out who I was out with they would beat my 37 year old ass. But you lost me on Mikey.

2. Ben AND Vince are totally a hit or miss for me...but I definitely see the appeal and maybe I should spend some more time, you know, considering them.

3. My kid crush was the big brother of one my my big brother's friends. He came out of the closet about the time I learned what that phrase meant. Crush crushed. Damn thing is that wasn't the only time that happened.

Oh, so sorry for the long comment. Just showin ya some public love!

5/16/10, 8:03 AM  
Blogger minivan soapbox said...

I actually re-do my list every year...and of course, post it. This year Shia LaBeouf made the list...(yum) Most of the male cast of Lost...and Joshua Jackson made the list this year. Lucky him...I know!

5/16/10, 11:47 AM  
Blogger Leigh said...

SOL...Val! Of course she made the list!

5/16/10, 2:09 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I totally suckity-suck-suck-suck at doing these sorts of things any more, too. But, even I had to do this one.

Someone told my dh that they think he looks like Gerald Butler, so now he wants to watch all the movies and try to point out the similarities. I try really hard not to laugh out loud or spit out my drink or something equally rude.

Dh is adorable, but um...well...enough said.

5/16/10, 4:34 PM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

You know, if you wanted a picture of me all you had to do was ASK.

5/17/10, 9:13 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

LOVE your list!!! Wasnt it fun!

5/17/10, 9:21 AM  
Blogger Mrsblogalot said...

Ahhhh Mikey and his inhaller always got me too(-:

5/17/10, 10:37 AM  
Blogger The Sharp's said...

I can agree with you on some here. I really can't believe you didn't do anything about Ben. I mean come on. He came up and said Hi to you, girl you should have been all over that!

5/17/10, 1:56 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

HAHAHHAHA!! Val's on my list too! :)

And of course...the NKOTB! LMAO!

5/17/10, 7:28 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

OMG, I just spit out my drink. Score for getting checked out by Ben, pre-J Lo too.

5/18/10, 3:03 PM  

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