Doggie Style

No Pervs. I'm not discussing sexual things. I have a dog. Have I mentioned?

He's a yellow lab and pretty much "matches" the family. You know, the whole 'pets resemble their owners' type thing? Yah. Yellow Lab, blonde mom and dad with blond-ish* kids.

Anyway. This dog was our first baby. Of course he was. We got him like the second we moved to the 'burbs and he was Our Life. Pictures to family and friends. The "Kiss Mascot" did this today, and he shit 4 times yesterday and he's sooooo cute and soft and cuddly. Sigh. We were THOSE people.

But I grew up a dog person and flat out said to Mr. Kiss "We're getting a dog."

For the sole reason to "parent prep." I figured - if we could 'raise' a dog (a.k.a. not kill him) we were allowed to try to have children. 

Turns out he survived. And didn't eat our first baby, so we had another one.

I'm sad to say, though, that the poor fella doesn't get nearly as much attention as he used to.  He's always the last to eat and is constantly being jumped on and having his tail pulled by the boys. He doesn't go to the park every day like that first year (ohhh, that first year, Kiss Mascot, that first year we were all so fit!).

He does, however, still claim his space. He sleeps on our bed. Yes. He sleeps on our bed.  Oddly, not at night anymore, but I'm totally fine with that. During the day, it's his haven. He's there All. Day. Long. 

In the interest to keep my bed somewhat 'dog hair' free, we tried to get him to sleep elsewhere. Dog Beds from Land's End. Crate lovies. Nothing worked. So it's up on the bed he remains. And my bed? It's cooooooomfy. I don't blame him. Also? The covers are oh so snuggly.  I sleep with a down comforter every single night. Winter, summer, it's on the bed. And, if you aren't aware, down comforters are not easy to clean. So I always have a duvet on it, which is also not easy to clean. Getting those fuckers on and off of a comforter is a cardio exercise.  That's a whole 'nother post!

Do I have a damn point? I think I do. The comforter or duvet always have another sheet on top of them. For the Dog. He's totally got me whipped, doesn't he? Thing is - if I can wash that lil sheet like twice a week, our bed smells more like Tide and Lavender and less like a kennel. 

But? Poochy pooch? Your days of snuggling on this bed are limited. Because you're doing just that: SNUGGLING!

Let's start with this.  I'm all melty looking at it. Makes me want to go spoon him and let those soft ears warm my cheeks.

But THIS?
I walked in one night after work to change into my fat pants and saw this. Dog Sheet askew, pillows all messed up (back right corner there)...

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

He had totally moved the sheets, moved the BLANKETS and settled himself right in.

And?
AND?

The pillow was warm. He had been sleeping in our bed, under the covers, with his head on the pillow. 

So listen up, Kiss Mascot: This was your first time and it wasn't on my side (heh) so you're getting a get out of jail free card. This time. If it happens again (on my side of course), I'm totally kicking you out of my room.  I have baby gates, don't think I won't use them.


*my little kiss? He has red hair. I have no idea. Either recessive genes or I fucked that leprechaun the same day I conceived him with Mr. Kiss.