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Momma Kiss: Doggie Style

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Doggie Style

No Pervs. I'm not discussing sexual things. I have a dog. Have I mentioned?

He's a yellow lab and pretty much "matches" the family. You know, the whole 'pets resemble their owners' type thing? Yah. Yellow Lab, blonde mom and dad with blond-ish* kids.

Anyway. This dog was our first baby. Of course he was. We got him like the second we moved to the 'burbs and he was Our Life. Pictures to family and friends. The "Kiss Mascot" did this today, and he shit 4 times yesterday and he's sooooo cute and soft and cuddly. Sigh. We were THOSE people.

But I grew up a dog person and flat out said to Mr. Kiss "We're getting a dog."

For the sole reason to "parent prep." I figured - if we could 'raise' a dog (a.k.a. not kill him) we were allowed to try to have children. 

Turns out he survived. And didn't eat our first baby, so we had another one.

I'm sad to say, though, that the poor fella doesn't get nearly as much attention as he used to.  He's always the last to eat and is constantly being jumped on and having his tail pulled by the boys. He doesn't go to the park every day like that first year (ohhh, that first year, Kiss Mascot, that first year we were all so fit!).

He does, however, still claim his space. He sleeps on our bed. Yes. He sleeps on our bed.  Oddly, not at night anymore, but I'm totally fine with that. During the day, it's his haven. He's there All. Day. Long. 

In the interest to keep my bed somewhat 'dog hair' free, we tried to get him to sleep elsewhere. Dog Beds from Land's End. Crate lovies. Nothing worked. So it's up on the bed he remains. And my bed? It's cooooooomfy. I don't blame him. Also? The covers are oh so snuggly.  I sleep with a down comforter every single night. Winter, summer, it's on the bed. And, if you aren't aware, down comforters are not easy to clean. So I always have a duvet on it, which is also not easy to clean. Getting those fuckers on and off of a comforter is a cardio exercise.  That's a whole 'nother post!

Do I have a damn point? I think I do. The comforter or duvet always have another sheet on top of them. For the Dog. He's totally got me whipped, doesn't he? Thing is - if I can wash that lil sheet like twice a week, our bed smells more like Tide and Lavender and less like a kennel. 

But? Poochy pooch? Your days of snuggling on this bed are limited. Because you're doing just that: SNUGGLING!

Let's start with this.  I'm all melty looking at it. Makes me want to go spoon him and let those soft ears warm my cheeks.

But THIS?
I walked in one night after work to change into my fat pants and saw this. Dog Sheet askew, pillows all messed up (back right corner there)...



Let's take a closer look, shall we?


He had totally moved the sheets, moved the BLANKETS and settled himself right in.

And?
AND?

The pillow was warm. He had been sleeping in our bed, under the covers, with his head on the pillow. 

So listen up, Kiss Mascot: This was your first time and it wasn't on my side (heh) so you're getting a get out of jail free card. This time. If it happens again (on my side of course), I'm totally kicking you out of my room.  I have baby gates, don't think I won't use them.


*my little kiss? He has red hair. I have no idea. Either recessive genes or I fucked that leprechaun the same day I conceived him with Mr. Kiss. 

17 Comments:

Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Aaaah, what a cutie. I can totally feel his soft ears. Yummy.
At least you don't have a bitch of a cat that pisses and moans if you move at night. One of these days I'm gonna kick her across the room!
She's not mine anyway.

Damn, I want a dog.

3/16/10, 5:55 PM  
Blogger Frugal Vicki said...

What a cutie!

3/16/10, 7:13 PM  
Blogger JenJen said...

OMG I'm totally mailing you a pic of my dog.
they're twins.
For realz.

Hi Dammit.

3/16/10, 7:23 PM  
Blogger Moooooog35 said...

Sorry. Sorry.

My bad.

Wasn't your dog.

You need to hide your extra house key a little better.

3/16/10, 8:10 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

We do the same thing. In order for one of our dogs not to go crazy when we leave, she needs to be able to go in our room - which means on our bed. We have a down comforter also year round so we do the sheet/blanket on top for them. I rather do that then have my shit chewed up b/c she is pissed that I left her in the kitchen.

3/16/10, 8:19 PM  
Blogger Mrsblogalot said...

He is sooooo cute!!!! Dogs rule the house! Look at the picture? Who could argue with that?

3/16/10, 8:36 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Not my boyfriend. Snuzzling under the covers? Does he drool?

3/17/10, 12:10 AM  
Blogger My name is PJ. said...

Labs are smart!! He'd heard that down comforters were the right weight all year long...but that you were supposed to sleep under them.

How could you deny that cutie a spot 'neath the covers...? Mean dog mom!

3/17/10, 4:51 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

ha ha! What a cutie. I have sheets covering my duvet too. Why? For the cats and their frequent puking. I woke up one morning, sat up in bed and saw puke on the duvet cover on TOP OF ME. Gross.

3/17/10, 8:18 AM  
Blogger Mandi said...

Omg. That is the cutesy thing I have seen on a long time. Haha. I love labs.

3/17/10, 10:19 AM  
Blogger Lisa..... said...

Yeah. Um. I feel ya.

http://taglichesfoto.blogspot.com/2009/07/threes-crowd.html

3/17/10, 3:42 PM  
Blogger Val said...

yep. we have a sheet for the cats.

love that he was all up in the sheets. smart pooch.

and ew on screwing a leprechaun.

3/17/10, 5:13 PM  
Anonymous MommaKiss said...

Val wins for leprechaun catch! Your prize is in the mail :)

And you cat people are making me thankful we don't have cats.

3/17/10, 5:26 PM  
Blogger Val said...

I win a leprechaun? Not one that you've already um, you know, violated though. Thanks. :p

3/17/10, 5:38 PM  
Blogger Pam said...

Gotta love our dogs! Mine can be a pain but he has been great company....

3/17/10, 9:42 PM  
Blogger Beth@The Stories of A to Z said...

Aw, so cute! Your dog is like goldilocks and you're like the mean momma bear, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" Okay, so easy for me to say because it's not MY bed :)! Too funny. Also, come back and link up your post once you have a shoe post. I'm deleting the other link because it's not a shoe post....although hilarious.

3/17/10, 9:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown Mami said...

You know a bunch of sex crazed people are going to google "Doggie Style" and end up here.

3/20/10, 2:08 AM  

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