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Momma Kiss: 5k preparation

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, March 12, 2010

5k preparation

I'm over Wednesday's crying jag. I think. Thanks for your kind words (and for lying to me).

Now. Let's move on. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I'm participating in this race on Sunday. I'd say "running" in it, but let's be honest...running is far from the truth.

I'll back up a smidge - in January I spent a night away at my girlfriend's house. We went to dinner, got drunk and she signed me up for a 5K. At the time, I was so excited! Somehow we managed to enter my name (correctly spelled even) and credit card to register me and Whala! In the morning, I saw the confirmation e-mail. And promptly said "WHAT THE FUCK?!" 


Some people do stupid things when they drink like sing karaoke, kiss strangers or flash their boobies [all of which I will deny to the death. unless you have pictures]. But not this time. I committed myself to this crazy 'race.' 

This was in January. The next week I decided I better start training. A.K.A. run/jog for the first time in my life. I mean. I may have run once in high school. You know, for that physical fitness test? I was the one in the back walking w/ the wheelchair kids.

I live in New England. It's cold and snowy outside in January. So I started on the treadmill. The first day I upped the walk pace and then just kept jogging. MUCH to my surprise, for the past 6 weeks I've done at least 4 full 5K's (on the treadmill) and have jogged a few 2 milers here and there in between. I'm not very fast - but I'm getting it done.

Did I mention I also fell OFF the treadmill about a week ago? At the gym. That was epic. You know you wish you were there.

Now the time has come. The race is on Sunday. I do NOT intend to be 'racing' at all. But I hope I can finish it. Well. I know I can finish it, but I'm going to try to actually run/jog the whole time.

My dliemma? The Outfit!

The race is this big Irish Deal - there's a 'sister' race in Dublin the same day. There will be beer at the end (pretty much what will be my  motivation to finish. Only fair, 'tis what got me into this mess in the first place).

Here's my shirt options:
BLUE [on a target cart. duh]



My "friend" who signed me up for this thing is wearing the Black one. I can match her. I don't mind.

Also? I thought about one of those head bands. With the bopper things on top? But realized they would just fall off because I'm not that graceful of a runner. And someone suggested face paint. Um. They have never seen me run, apparently, as I sweat like a fat man running through Africa.

So - we have options as follows:

The sweat bands:

I had a link to the wrist bands, too - with thumb holes! But the picture won't save.
And leg warmers. yah???

And I'll probably have a flashing shamrock button or something else completely over the top to make myself fit in. If you're going to cross the finish line wheezing and red faced, you may as well look good doing it, right?

Go big or go home, my friends.

Tune in Monday to see if I survived. If I did, I may have pictures. If not, I have a will set up. My friend Val, you've been appointed the executor ;)



Anonymous Laurie said...

Good luck with the run/jog/whatever you manage, lol. I vote for the white shirt, unless you need the longer sleeves to stay warm!

3/12/10, 10:37 AM  
Blogger Lisa..... said...

Dude that head band rocks.

3/12/10, 11:23 AM  
Blogger Denise said...

I vote for the shite shirt - and definitely the leg warmers...which remind me of baby legs! :)

3/12/10, 1:00 PM  
Blogger Dan @ Jane, You Ignorant Slut said...

My unsolicited advice? Turn the iPod volume all the way to >>. Or ||. Whatever is the loudest.

That way, you can't hear your own gasping breaths, and you have no idea how close you are to passing out.

You pass out? Male EMT's to give you mouth-to-mouth. You don't pass out? You break the tape. Win-MF-win.

3/12/10, 1:07 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

You always make me laugh! I vote for the blue or black shirt...the white one just seems way too damn happy to run in.

3/12/10, 2:54 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I say the blue shirt and pimp it out with green. But the black shirt might hide the pit stains from sweat...... hmmm.

3/12/10, 3:09 PM  
Blogger Momma Ski said...

I say the white shirt with a long sleeve green shirt underneath. Love the leg warmers!

3/12/10, 3:20 PM  
Blogger Candy's daily Dandy said...

My the grace of our good Lord shine on you on that "race" day.

You are a much better man than I.

3/12/10, 4:42 PM  
Anonymous Kiki said...

all the shirts are cute. You HAVE to do the legwarmers abd head band. You can totally do it- just relax and have fun! The adrenaline and masses of bodies will keep you going. Take lots of pics!!!!! I'm proud o you

3/12/10, 5:22 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

Well since you went all Irish on me: May the road rise up to meet you, but only your feet and not your face. May the wind be always at your back, pushing your slow ass across the finish line. May sun shine warm upon your face and on your race day. May rain fall freaking hard on your competitors and May God hand you gold at the finish line.

2 most important things to keep in mind: Chaffing and Support.


3/12/10, 5:48 PM  
Blogger Cristin said...

New England you say? Perhaps we're neighbors...and potential drinking buddies?

Yah. I get winded running errands, no way in HELL you'd ever catch me running in a fucking race.

3/12/10, 8:31 PM  
Blogger Val said...

You best not die... We have some guinness to drink in October. ;)

Whatever the hell you wear you will look hot.

And Dan - OMG. Killing ME!

3/12/10, 8:45 PM  
Blogger My name is PJ. said...

MK, I'm darn glad I stopped by this morning so that I can begin praying for you today.....through Sunday.

You're embarking upon something I was never able to complete in my real life. I shall undoubtedly have to wear sunglasses when I read your blog beginning Monday, as you will be glowing from you accomplishment.

I'm from MA; Husband from VT. Yah.
We drink tonic. Yah. And we're huge Patriots fans. Not popular in DE.

I have to follow you now.....have to.

3/13/10, 6:14 AM  
Blogger JenJen said...

Hi dammit
I'm with Dan. I'd be hoping for a lip lock with a hot EMT.

3/13/10, 10:49 AM  

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