Dating

Recently I said that we don’t “schedule the shit” out of our kid’s weekends, I guess I lied a little bit. We do sometimes have play dates w/ other lil' monsters…it breaks up the monotony and for 4 yr olds, it’s pretty easy.

On Sunday, Big Kiss’ buddy G came over. They used to go to daycare together, but then G got all “smart” or “advanced” or whatever and he now attends a Montessori school so Big Kiss doesn’t see him much. He’s been asking and asking and ASKING to have G over but I’ve been putting it off.

More like, putting his mother off. She’s so damn annoying, I can’t stand it. I mean, like she’s using her kid to try to get a “mom-friend” and to be honest? I have enough and it’s not easy to plan time with them as it is. Not to mention, she wants all the gossip on other kids (parents) and it’s just not my thing (snort – I just don’t want to spill it to her).

After her 6th e-mail asking when the boys could get together, and after sufficiently rolling my eyes, I just asked Big Kiss if he wanted to have him over and he said “sure.”

Well, I guess he was actually pretty excited and talked about it non-stop all weekend and went to bed asking “how many more hours til G comes” and “will he like my BatManClub” and “can I show him my new train from Santa” but what I really heard was “how many hours til this annoying mother drops off her annoying kid and when can I grab a cocktail?”

Sunday at 3 arrives, they’re fashionably late (not really, they were 5 minutes early) and Big Kiss and G instantly hit it off, like they’d never ever been apart (cue the Titanic music).

That lasted for about 20 minutes. Big Kiss asked for some space. Um, Ok – but how the hell am I supposed to make this thing work for another 102 minutes?? I tried a snack. While hoping he’s not all earthy crunchy and doesn’t do sugar or something, I set out the juice boxes and cookies.

Turns out? He realllllly shouldn’t do sugar. Apparently it had a hand in G turning up his volume, which was already at screetch level. And? Jaysus, I can’t make this shit up. He decided to crawl around and bark / whine like a dog. For the next 40 minutes. Even Lil Kiss - who would do anything and everything to be like his big brother and friends – high tailed it to Manland to hide with, I mean, watch football with Daddee.

Big Kiss is trying to hide from G, I’m trying to smooth the situation by asking if he’d like to pretend he’s human again, all of us watching the clock tick…And Tock…and TICK some more. It was getting a tad bit dark, but we kept the blinds open and as soon as her car turned the corner I said all sing-songy “Look, G, you’re mom’s coming, let’s get the puppy’s shoes on, hurry up, you don’t want to make her wait!”

Big Kiss was never more happy to have a play date END.

In my quest to find the sliver lining in “all things mundane” lately, the Plus Side of the play date? I did NOT have to wipe an unrelated toddler’s butt. Seriously. If G had to drop a deuce, I’d have been calling his mother ASAP. I do enough wiping of crap w/ my own kids. Oh! Another one: hopefully we no longer have to “date” this kid again.

Or his mom.