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Momma Kiss: Sigh.

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sigh.

I had a rough night with my soon-to-be 4 year old. His birthday is in a couple of weeks and he is really growing so fast. He speaks well when he wants to. He is super sweet when he needs to be. But he's also learning what really gets to me and his daddy. Like, he's a pro at it.

Last night, he was being a total turd. Not listening. Blowing his tongue at me. Kicking his brother. Kicking the dog (which in turn, taught his brother to kick the dog). Calling me names (poopy, stinky, buddah, stupid). Whining. Pushing buttons.

So we had a rough bedtime, and when all was calm I asked my momma what I'm doing wrong. She's been w/ us since Saturday, so from an outsider's POV, tell me what to fix. :(

She didn't even hesitate when she said he doesn't respect me. And I give too many "ifs" and don't follow thru. That didn't feel good. But she's right. She also said if he's disrespectful at 4, what will he be like at 8? And what will Lil Kiss learn from him?

It's such a fine line. I work. Mr. Kiss works. Sometimes a lot. And we each travel for work or fun. So on those days when we're working or traveling, there's not much "quantity" of time w/ the boys. But I try to make it quality time.

So - the fine line - am I too soft? I didn't think I was. I don't yell at him (too much). I ask him to use strong words. But I say "if you do this, we're doing that" and give him a few chances before following thru.

Sigh.

I need to get tougher, don't I? I need him to know he can't interrupt all the time. It's not OK to hit. It's not OK to call names.

The next few weeks are going to suck. But I hope it's worth it in the end. I just want both of my kids to grow up strong and confident and respectful and empathetic.

Anyone have the magic recipe? When you find it, share that shit, will ya? This momma needs some help.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sass said...

Hey there...I just have to say...It is totally about follow through. Being firm when it's necessary, and not over-reacting.

In other words it's about being perfect.

You ARE perfect, right?

RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?

5/21/09, 11:59 AM  
Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I'm not sure how my mom did it, but she never hit us or really punished us. She would count to 3 and we would run, she still does and we have the same reaction LOL Somehow we had the right amount of fear kids should have w/ a parent but we could always go to her and talk. She's such a good mom and you are too. I don't have kids so I'm not really good at advice about them, but it's easy to see how loved your kids are and it's not always easy to know what they are thinking

5/21/09, 1:06 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

Sass, of course I'm mutha cluckin perfect. Jeez.

Follow through. I know it's the answer. He'll get it. He's just so damn sweet most of the time.

BS/BC, I try the counting to 3. But I need to actually do what I say I'm gonna do once I get to 3!

So - does anyone remember 'fearing' their mom at 4? I don't. I totally remember the fear of the hair pull or the soap in the mouth at - say - 6. So maybe he's just too young to really know WTF he's doing to me. But it's true, I need to set the damn boundaries early. And also let him be little.

I repeat.

Sigh.

5/21/09, 1:39 PM  
Blogger Baby Momma said...

Firm - that's it. That and consistency. If he hits - this is his punishment; ALWAYS. If he calls you a name - this is his punishment; ALWAYS!

I'm not perfect either - lord knows my kid is whiney and I am starting to go Nanny 911 on her ass now. It's helping. Hang in there...

5/21/09, 5:24 PM  

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