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Momma Kiss: Freeballin

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I just can't stop laughing, it's story time, y'all!

Yesterday I bolted to pick up the boyzz at daycare. Big Kiss is out on the playground, sweating his ass off because he HAD to wear a sweat shirt and no t-shirt underneath. Anyway - I could see he was outside when I drove by, so I picked up Lil Kiss first.

As soon as I opened his door, I'm all "Kxxx Finny Fo Shizzle mah Dizzle!" He giggled like mad. Kid loves that nick name. And first things first - he had to take my hand and pull me over to the craft table and show me what he was doing. Something with cotton balls, yarn and paper. But he was shouting out colors and pointing and all up on his tippy toes.

I had to praise the teacher and let her know that my friend was mucho impressed that Lil Kiss knows his colors so well. Like all of them. I didn't realize he was so advance, but *ahem* maybe he's gifted just like his Momma? Anyway - we look at his crap, I mean, craft project and then get his stuff and head out to get Big Kiss.

The whole 'picking up' routine usually lasts 10 to 20 minutes, all the chatting and shit. Finally corral them into the car and I'm lifting Lil Kiss in (his seat is in the middle) and I realize his bum feels like way skinny. Like it's just tushie, no diaper smushyness. So I peek in the waist band and yep - just all nekked in there.

No undies.

No dipe.


I end up talking to the teacher, she was all "NO WAY, I can't believe I forgot to diaper him!"

Jesus. I swear, sometimes I wonder about that place. Honestly, they're amazing teachers - but Oy. And come to find out from another mom today, who was there last night, the teacher was dealing w/ a new kid's parent and answering a million questions and just didn't diaper Lil Kiss before pulling up his pants. And this mom just thought I was potty training my 22 month old already.

Um. Not sure that's happening. Considering he looooooooove stewing in his warm poo. True story.

Anywho - kid made it home and lasted about 45 minutes diaperless, then pissed down his leg and said "Ew."

Is he NOT my child? :p Ew. Ha.

P.S. - after sharing this story w/ some friends, his "no diaper" status has received many comments. I'll name a few:

Unfinished Basement
Loose Caboose
Bare pickle

^^What's your fave?


Blogger Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I'm digging the loose caboose

7/1/09, 11:45 AM  
Blogger Trina said...

Freeballin' is pretty funny and the bare pickle made me chuckle a bit, but I think I like Loose Caboose the best. Tame enough to say in front of most everyone (like parents/in laws lol)

7/1/09, 3:57 PM  
Blogger MommaKiss said...

The sad thing is, on MY side of the family - all of them would fly. They mostly call it "junk." Nice. But loose caboose is way cute.

7/2/09, 10:47 AM  
Blogger Sassy Britches said...

I am sooooooo going to start calling it "unfinished basement." That is HYSTERICAL!

7/2/09, 1:21 PM  
Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

OMG! Bare Pickle?!?!?! This is awesome! You're the best story teller EVER!

4/15/10, 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Decided to look up some old MK and couldn't resist the post title.

Re: to stewing in your warm poo - he'll probably be saying that about you someday.

As far as another term of commando, I like to say: I'm swaying in the wind.

10/14/10, 1:41 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

"Freebalin'" is probably the most favorite vocab word of our house! With boys only and a father who refuses to wear underwear(unless he's in bed???-Yup, you heard me!), that's all the rage here!

11/20/10, 1:12 PM  

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