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Friday Flip Offs! It's time

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Momma Kiss: Friday Flip Offs! It's time

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday Flip Offs! It's time

That's Right, Kids.

Friday Flip Offs are back.

I think my last one was in April, the day that my husband was laid off. Because of the fucking French. Anyway - lots has been going on and I think it's time to share the angst! Let out all of your frustration and Flip Shit Off on Friday so that you can enjoy your weekend.

Let's Do It!

(I even have a button!)



First, I'd like to give a huge middle finger salute to my sister. Who once again has proven what a cuntbagtwatwaffle she truly is. I recently spent 10 days with her daughter, and though I wasn't fishing for dirt, at all, I learned that her mother (CBTWSister) is trying to manipulate this kid for money. Out of the utmost respect for my niece, who is one of the most genuine, smart, kind, gorgeous people I know, I won't go further. Other than to say that karma's a bitch, CBTWSister. You'll get yours one day. It's sad, truly sad, but you will.

Second Flip Off? Adult Acne. I admit I'm an old bitch. I'm 36 . And it's not raging cystic acne, no, but still. I get those underground pimples. Typically right in the corner of my nose or near my hair line [fucking summer heat].

Exhibit A:



Yah. Right there. The size of Russia. Can you see it from your house? [don't mind my hair, I had just gone for a walk and was all schweaty].

While we're at it? I'd also like to say Fuck You to aging skin. Dayum, I finally got serious about sunscreen last year - but can't get rid of those sun spots on my cheeks. Fuckers.

Exhibit B:



To my fucked up pinky toes. I double finger flip you off. I am walking and walking to prep for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk. [DONATE HERE!!! you knew I'd get that in there, right?] My legs are ready. Even my chub rub, thanks to Body Glide, which I intend to own stock in, the shit's so awesome. Anyway, my pinky toes, they just curl right under their neighbor toes and get crushed. So I use moleskin, blister bandaids and even dry fit toe socks. Yes, click that, it's a picture of said socks and it's fun. I will NOT let sore feet stop me from walking 60 miles in 3 days. I won't. If they need to be cut off, so be it, I'll finish this walk because, together with my teammate Poppy, we've raised over $6,500. InFuckingCredible, right??? We are. And my toes better not fucking let me down.

Finally, Flip off to money worries.

Truly. This one is focused on my momma, though - she recently moved from MT to WI - which was good for her - but hasn't found a job yet and social security isn't covering her monthly expenses. Can I be honest, Kids? She is the very reason I said yes to help promote Juice In the City. Not only are they a kick ass company of moms helping moms, but any money I'm making on sponsored posts? All for my Momma. It's the least I can do. So while I'm saying Fuck Off to money worries, I'm saying THANK YOU for putting up with me pimpin' deals for Juice.


this linky code should work - let's pray, eh?

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36 Comments:

Blogger Mad Woman behind the Blog said...

Oh hell yeah FU acne and sunspots. Fuckers!
My flip off: Apple! We can send people into outerspace but you can't make a phone whose case won't crack? F to the fucking U!
Also a FU to the geography that separates us. LYLT, GF!

7/8/11, 6:22 AM  
Anonymous Making It Work Mom said...

Yes and Yes to the acne! I have gray hair and pimples! Where is the justice in that!

And Yes to money worries. It is just sad when your mom has to worry about money!

7/8/11, 7:01 AM  
Blogger John said...

We call still flip off the French, though, right? That's the most important part.

Adult acne is the bane of my existence . . . and it ALWAYS appears in a painful area - the crease between my nose & cheek, the place where my ear-lobe meets the side of my face. And the real reason I keep my hair so short? Scalpne.

I'd say you're a good person for what you're doing for your mom, but you should already know that by now :-)

And, I'd like to say an additional Fuck You to your cuntwaffle sister (thank god it seems that your niece isn't inheriting her traits) for making me think of how much of a cuntwaffle she is every time I see the very sweet wardrobe person/choreographer at this community theater who I once thought could pass as your not-quite-as-hot-as-you-are sister.

7/8/11, 7:48 AM  
Blogger Kmama said...

I've wrote a few posts about the irony (and complete bullshit) of having acne and wrinkles at the same time. It's not right.

7/8/11, 8:12 AM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

I do love the flip offs. Those age spots, lemon juice, everyday. They will be history.
I will join you flipping off your baby toe!

7/8/11, 8:27 AM  
Blogger Elena said...

Seriously, adult acne is bullshit. I'm 34 and I get a zit at least once a month now. It's freaking ridiculous. Love the flip offs!

7/8/11, 9:04 AM  
Blogger Evonne said...

The sun is my enemy. Parts of me tan while others burn. It really pisses me off.

7/8/11, 9:07 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Adult acne can suck it. I have it so bad right now. Every since going off BC, my jaw line has erupted. And sun spots? My nephew thought I had "big freckles" FLIP OFF!

7/8/11, 9:32 AM  
Anonymous Mrs. Jen B said...

First, I woke up this morning to a pimple on my cheek which is bright, bright red. Meanwhile I put makeup on it and then sweated it all off on the way to work (which I knew would happen but I put it on anyway). And the sunspots? Forget it. I don't even go out in the sun that much, but there they are. I feel like my mom or something.

Second, Body Glide is my lover forever. We first discovered it before a trip to WDW because DH got a bad blister on a previous trip which really killed the fun. We were introduced to Body Glide and the love affair began. I carry it in my purse, actually. For real.

Third, I thought only my toes did that. You and Poppy are amazing!!!

And money can suck it. Unless it wants to hang out with me and my friends more often, in which case it's cool.

7/8/11, 10:17 AM  
Blogger Kelley said...

I can't believe YOU have a sister that doesn't take of her daughter well. I know your niece is so grateful for you. I am 36, too! Let's be old together! Also? Glad you are doing the JITC deal. What a good daughter you are. :)

7/8/11, 10:28 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I was just complaining the other day that my face didn't get the memo that I'm not a teenager anymore. Zits, go the F away.

Did you check to make sure you didn't have any boogers before you took those close up shots of your zit?

Sorry to hear about your sister and your mom. Hope your mom finds a job soon.

7/8/11, 10:33 AM  
Blogger Helene said...

Oh man, why do we have to deal with zits as adults? Thought we already paid our price during our horrid teenage years!

And what's worse is that you feel like you have to point it out to people you see in person because you don't want them thinking, "I wonder if she knows she has a huge zit on her face".

Sorry about your niece...that sucks!

Congratulations on raising all that money!!! Go you!!!!!!

7/8/11, 10:48 AM  
Blogger Krista said...

Ugh! I HATE adult acne. I'm like you in that I get it in the worst, and most painful areas. Like right now, there's one on the edge of hairline on the back of my neck. It's the worst because I can't reach it to get some relief and I can feel it every.single.time I turn my head in any direct. Again, UGH!

Stupid sisters. FU.

You so totally WILL finish the 60 miles! The feelings you'll get afterwards...I can only imagine how awesome it'll be!

7/8/11, 11:06 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

Well, I turned 40 in April (and who you callin' old?!) and I still get the occasional zit. Yes, worrying about zits and forehead wrinkles at the same time is a cruel ass joke, Mother Nature! It ain't right!

Yay for the return of Friday Flip-offs!

7/8/11, 11:33 AM  
Blogger Boobies said...

Sista...I'm still sporting adult acne too...I consider it the fountain of youth..I'll forever look like I'm 14. :) Your skin has nothing on mine!

$6500?! That's amazing...and rightly so!! Support the cause people!

Happy Fawkin Friday!

7/8/11, 12:31 PM  
Blogger Catherine Dabels said...

So, I did this over at my blog because it just felt so right. Minus all the swear words. As much as I want to swear my mother reads my blog and well, she's old school. You know?

And I'm 38 and still popping zits as though I were 17. Life is just tragically unfair.

7/8/11, 12:53 PM  
Blogger The Suburban Princess said...

Awesome that you have raised so much for such a great cause!

Love the twirly moustache!

And big f-u to raging cystic acne! I had one of those nasty monsters on my face two weeks ago when I had a wedding to attend. Of course, I couldn't leave it alone and by the time I was finished messing with it my chin looked like it was being attacked by some kind of flesh eating virus. And no makeup in the world would cover it.

TGIF!

7/8/11, 1:00 PM  
Anonymous Jean Has Been Shopping said...

Girl, no! That little pimple? I would gladly trade you for the BOIL I get on my nose every time I eat too much chocolate. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. But do I? No.
Sorry about your sister. Those are some harsh words. She must be something!

7/8/11, 1:29 PM  
Blogger KLZ said...

Ah, money issues. They are currently choking down my throat right now.

Hopefully it will ease up on everyone soon.

7/8/11, 1:32 PM  
Anonymous Kiki said...

I'm older. And I have sun spots, and wrinkles, and acne. I love your picture, made me LOl at work. I've purchased from Juice in The City 3 times in the past and been happy. How can I hook you up when I purchase? Link? or do you get $ for just advertising?

7/8/11, 1:42 PM  
Blogger The Blue Zoo said...

Ive missed your awesome friday posts!!

I get ugly red bumps on the left side of my face. Not quite zits or pimples... and they hang around forever. I couldnt figure out why the hell they were there.

And then I realized its because when Im on the phone I hold it to the left side of my face! Ugh! So irritating. Its not like Im going to give up talking on the phone.

7/8/11, 2:13 PM  
Blogger Joshua said...

I usually get them on my temples, where the stems of my glasses are in constant contact with skin. Fuckers.

Also, CuntBagTwatWaffle has rocketed to the top of my favorite insults list, edging out CumGuzzler and FuckingDoucheNozzle.

7/8/11, 2:46 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I hate those zits like that. OUCH.

You are such a sweet daughter, to help out your mama! Yay for JITC!

7/8/11, 3:19 PM  
Blogger beeka-beeka said...

Love your flip-offs....

I'll join you in the flip-off to money woes...Good Bless you for the love of your momma!

7/8/11, 3:59 PM  
Anonymous chickensconsigliere said...

I'm flipping off aging in general, now that you mention it. Who needs it. Who needs you, menopause! And leg freckles. They suck, too.

7/8/11, 4:14 PM  
Blogger jen@its all about me said...

New follower who loves this idea especially since I've been constantly flipped off about something or other lately! Brilliant, just brilliant.

7/8/11, 6:32 PM  
Blogger Kim @ Mamas Monologues said...

My face has not received the memo that I'm no longer in puberty either. Zits? F off.

7/8/11, 7:34 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Adult acne is just wrong and unfair.

7/8/11, 9:46 PM  
Blogger Annabelle said...

Wow, great flip offs!

I see your adult acne...and raise you one labia boil. Thank you Spanks in 98 degree weather.

Yeah. I said it.

7/8/11, 10:01 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Screw the pimples. And the blisters. And the sister. And the money.

YOU have an adorable pink curly mustache.
(and all these people who love you.)

Still. I am sorry about the sucky stuff.
For real.

7/8/11, 10:07 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Tuna said...

Crap, that bites about your sister. My Sistah and I are thicker than thieves.

7/8/11, 11:11 PM  
Blogger The Zany Housewife said...

Screw the messed up relatives. I'd like to flip off my mother who just disowned me for speaking my mind. Yeah. That's some love for you.

And nertz to pimples, pinky toes and money troubles! Personally my pinky toes are assholes, I always have a pimple appear at the worst possible time, and money? What's that?

p.s. I love the color of your nailpolish. :)

7/9/11, 2:19 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly has mutant baby toes said...

I have the worst pinky toes this world has ever seen. No lie. Even the vietnamisflasfja...how the fuck do you spell it...people who run the nail salons cringe when they see them.

7/10/11, 3:21 PM  
Anonymous Missy | The Literal Mom said...

I get adult acne in the summer and it totally is that under the skin kind you can't even POP! Totally annoying!

7/10/11, 11:19 PM  
Blogger Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

DUDE! Nose zits are the WORST!!!!

7/11/11, 12:25 AM  
Blogger Laura Greene said...

Cuntbagtwatwaffle is just about the greatest thing I've ever heard. May I have your permission to borrow it? Cause I have a list (you know the list) of about ten people I would love to apply it to.

7/14/11, 10:29 PM  

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