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Momma Kiss: The Corporate Dress Code Policy

Momma Kiss

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Corporate Dress Code Policy

I work for a pretty big company.

Fortune 500. Publicly traded. All that jazz. I'm in corporate (yawn) and the majority of the home office employees are in super cool trendy jobs.  Boring or Trendy - we're all here WORKING (most of the time - heh).

So when we get a memo such as the following, I'm a little bit surprised.

Email from CEO. The Chief Frikkin Executive Officer had to send this out:

"It has come to my attention through several emails that some employees in the Home Offices are coming to work dressed in non business appropriate attire." 

"My Company" is a fashion driven company and fashion forward in much of our apparel but some of these styles are truly inappropriate in a business environment.  For this reason we have updated the Home Office Dress Code Policy - attached below.

Here's the updates:

  • Updated! Revealing outfits (e.g. exposed midsection, low cut tops that are extremely revealing, crop tops, strapless tops, spaghetti straps, halter or tank tops, halter dresses, see-through clothing, short skirts, clingy clothing and excessively tight pants, skirts or dresses)
  • Updated! Shirts that do not come down to a reasonable length when wearing leggings/tights/bare legs
  • Updated! Short shorts for women (not including capri pants or “city shorts”)
Have I mentioned that this is New England? And that this came out the first week of April? And that people have worn this inappropriate shit ALL WINTER LONG? Yeah. For Serious.

"Extremely revealing," "See-through clothing," "city shorts."

It's not like we work for Hooters or The Bada Bing!

The non-updated policy notes are sort of just as bad.

Like no shorts for men. (don't need a ball shot, thanks).

No "soiled" or ripped clothing. Um, who's coming to work in pants they just shit in?

Don't answer that...

No rubber flip-flops (because who doesn't love that flap flap flap sound going through the halls when you're discussing corporate policy??)

I would like to add a few rules, which may just work for me and HR probably wouldn't approve, but please - don't need the eye raping:


  • white leggings.
  • skinny jeans when you're not remotely skinny

  • layered polo shirts, 3 to be precise, with popped collars.
  • banana clips.

Perchance I shall write my own note to the CEO...

Labels:

12 Comments:

Blogger The mad woman behind the blog said...

OMG! Can we just build a time machine and tie the hands of the inventor of the banana clip? Those and the big fat fabric scrunchies!
And tell me why women w/short hair insist on using these?

And the 3 polo shirts?!?!?!

I would love to establish a dress code at my office if only to prevent seeing my boss play pocket pool.

4/14/10, 12:42 PM  
Blogger Momma Ski said...

no soiled clothes? LMAO. (laughing with you...not at you...)

4/14/10, 1:08 PM  
Blogger JenJen said...

Hi dammit

I HATE noisy shoe people. Yes. the people. Not the shoes.

YIB

4/14/10, 2:03 PM  
Blogger Corinne said...

Three layered polo shirts? That happened?? Yikes! :)
I worked at a very laid back PR firm where I don't think I wore anything but jeans, and flip flops were expected in the summer time... crazy!

4/14/10, 9:40 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Holy shit, I just peed my pants reading this........ esp. your additions!

4/14/10, 10:43 PM  
Blogger Aislinn said...

Oh my, this is funny!! I work in the Military so this is a non issue but I still on very small occasions can wear clothes to work and they have to be "office" attire. Some people need talking mirrors that tell them what not to wear.

4/15/10, 2:51 AM  
Blogger Mrsblogalot said...

HAAA! If I wore anything extremely revealing nobody would ever come to work again.

So pretty in here!!!!

4/15/10, 6:28 AM  
Blogger Val said...

Your mission is to sleuth around your office and find these offenders, snap their picture and post here, on your blog for all of us to laugh at.

Seriously. Get on it. :p

4/15/10, 1:59 PM  
Blogger Lisa..... said...

Dressing up for work sounds so much fun. I get so tired of scrubs. sigh.

4/15/10, 7:17 PM  
Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

I admit, I'm an offender as I wear flip-flops sometimes, but yes - the noise is enough to drive a person batty!

4/16/10, 1:58 PM  
Blogger Trina said...

banana clips? seriously? people still wear those?

lol @ Moose knuckle and camel toe. GAG!

4/16/10, 4:01 PM  
OpenID The Local Cook said...

OMG you are TOO funny! I remember our corporate dress policy used to have "thongs" on the inappropriate attire list. We always snickered at that, especially because the head of the organization (and most of the higher ups) were extremely straightlaced, very old white men. We would ask each other who was going to check to make sure it was being followed.

4/17/10, 9:32 AM  

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